Author Topic: How to tell if you are called to marriage or celibacy (Read 2409 times)

GiuseppeMichelePoli · « **on:** May 12, 2016, 01:28:43 AM »

How should one go about telling whether they are called to marriage or celibacy?

SoldierofCtK · « **Reply #1 on:** May 12, 2016, 01:58:12 AM »

This article might be a good place to start:

http://whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/2015/04/for-those-who-are-trying-to-decide.html

Nadir · « **Reply #2 on:** May 12, 2016, 02:42:51 AM »

Quote from: GiuseppeMichelePoli

How should one go about telling whether they are called to marriage or celibacy?

The choice is not between marriage or celibacy. One is not called to celibacy. The natural state is marriage. While a religious vocation is supernatural. If you hear the call, you respond, otherwise, you carry on life in chastity and search for a marriage partner.

They say the call to religious life is unmistakable. If you hear if, follow up on it. Keep praying and stay close to God.

TKGS · « **Reply #3 on:** May 12, 2016, 06:27:57 AM »

Quote

They say the call to religious life is unmistakable. If you hear if, follow up on it. Keep praying and stay close to God.

They might say that, but nuns that I know do not, and least not immediately. For most people, God does not knock them down off their horse or speak to them in whispers. For most people, the call is very hard to discern. This is why convents and monasteries do not take everyone immediately upon arrival. There is a period of discernment.

If one has an inkling that one is called to a religious state, one should find an appropriate place to explore that feeling. Perhaps one will discover that the call is true and perhaps one will discover that God has other plans for his or her life. For some religious, they've known all their lives that the call was there. For others, it came later in life.

Do not think, however, that as a young man or woman you will simply "know" that you have a vocation to the religious life; but, the fact that one is asking the question in the first place is evidence that one should investigate the possibility. I encourage you to do so.

Ladislaus · « **Reply #4 on:** May 12, 2016, 07:42:15 AM »

What is all this nonsense lately on CathInfo about marriage not being a vocation? Any state in life can be a vocation. Vocation isn't necessarily synonymous with religious vocation. Certainly, subjectively, not everyone pursues marriage as if it were a vocation, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't objectively call some people to marriage as a vocation.

TheRealMcCoy · « **Reply #5 on:** May 12, 2016, 08:11:41 AM »

Quote from: Ladislaus

What is all this nonsense lately on CathInfo about marriage not being a vocation? Any state in life can be a vocation. Vocation isn't necessarily synonymous with religious vocation. Certainly, subjectively, not everyone pursues marriage as if it were a vocation, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't objectively call some people to marriage as a vocation.

I wonder if it's just a manifestation of the rejection of both marriage and religious life that we see in the world at large. Many people just don't "like" what marriage has to offer because it's not like the Hollywood movies (lifelong pleasure and romance).

I'm baffled by this so-called vocation called "celibacy" and admit I don't know much about it. Can someone shed some light on what the Church has always taught about this third path?

Ladislaus · « **Reply #6 on:** May 12, 2016, 08:21:23 AM »

Quote from: TheRealMcCoy

Quote from: Ladislaus
What is all this nonsense lately on CathInfo about marriage not being a vocation? Any state in life can be a vocation. Vocation isn't necessarily synonymous with religious vocation. Certainly, subjectively, not everyone pursues marriage as if it were a vocation, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't objectively call some people to marriage as a vocation.

I wonder if it's just a manifestation of the rejection of both marriage and religious life that we see in the world at large. Many people just don't "like" what marriage has to offer because it's not like the Hollywood movies (lifelong pleasure and romance).

I'm baffled by this so-called vocation called "celibacy" and admit I don't know much about it. Can someone shed some light on what the Church has always taught about this third path?

Quote from: Pope Pius XII

When one thinks upon the maidens and the women who voluntarily renounce marriage in order to consecrate themselves to a higher life of contemplation, of sacrifice, and of charity, a luminous word comes immediately to the lips: vocation!... This vocation, this call of love, makes itself felt in very diverse manners... But also the young Christian woman, remaining unmarried in spite of herself, who nevertheless trusts in the providence of the heavenly Father, recognizes in the vicissitudes of life the voice of the Master: “Magister adest et vocat te” (John 11:28); It is the master, and he is calling you! She responds, she renounces the beloved dream of her adolescence and her youth: to have a faithful companion in life, to form a family! And in the impossibility of marriage she recognizes her vocation; then, with a broken but submissive heart, she also gives her whole self to more noble and diverse good works. (Address to Italian Women, October 21, 1945, AAS 37 (1945), 287).

http://www.pathsoflove.com/texts/pius_xii.html

Here Pius XII even refers to involuntary celibacy as a vocation.

Pax Vobis · « **Reply #7 on:** May 12, 2016, 08:39:54 AM »

I think it was St Thomas who said if you think you have a religious vocation, even if it is a temptation from the devil, you should pursue it. This, of course, assumes that you're able to pursue it and haven't already made a commitment to something else.

I think most Catholics who are taking their Faith seriously and who are trying to know, love and serve God, will, at some point, think about a religious vocation. It's only natural. And I know many people who have visited the seminary, or monasteries, etc to discern. Some had this vocation, many did not. But God blessed them for their intentions and none of them regretted it.

Pray to be open to God's will. Talk to your parents and your priest. Life's short; give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

MyrnaM · « **Reply #8 on:** May 12, 2016, 08:58:45 AM »

I wonder, can a Protestant or someone from one of the unapproved rites have a true calling to the religious life? Or is it for them just a career?

songbird · « **Reply #9 on:** May 12, 2016, 10:52:38 AM »

My great-great uncle Fr. Rudolph (peter) Stoltz wrote a letter to his nephew, my grandfather. He wrote, I hear you will receive your Holy Eucharist next Sunday. Pray for your vocation at this time. It was at my first Holy Eucharist that I got a strong inclination to study the priesthood. Dated May 28, 1905.

Kephapaulos · « **Reply #10 on:** May 12, 2016, 11:40:23 AM »

I find an obstacle myself with pursuing the priesthood and/or religious life. I see in our times that you have to tow a party line, whether it be the SSPX, Resistance, Novus Ordo, sedevacantism, FSSP, or something else. All have their good points but have their deficiencies too, except the Novus Ordo is really out of the question.

Kephapaulos · « **Reply #11 on:** May 12, 2016, 11:42:46 AM »

A good soul told me awhile back though that marriage also must be sought after for supernatual reasons and not merely according to the flesh.

poche · « **Reply #12 on:** May 16, 2016, 02:25:21 AM »

Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance

St John Evangelist · « **Reply #13 on:** May 16, 2016, 02:57:36 AM »

Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because you are attracted to someone sensually that you are called to marry them. If your thoughts of them turn almost exclusively to the sensual, rather than to the idea of raising children with them, then it's very likely nothing more than a temptation. You may even think that the person would make an ideal spouse, but if your thoughts of them are exclusively sensual, you could just be making excuses for your lust.

Geremia · « **Reply #14 on:** May 16, 2016, 11:38:14 AM »

Quote from: GiuseppeMichelePoli

How should one go about telling whether they are called to marriage or celibacy?

These are two very good, freely-available resources:

Vocation to the Religious State by St. Alphonsus de Liguori
Vocations by Rev. William Doyle, S.J.