I have a complex family issue and I was hoping to get some insight from all of you.

In short, my mother has been acting kind of "batty" lately. On Mother's Day, I woke up late and had to rush to be able to make it to Mass on time. I planned to call her after Mass to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, but before I had a chance to, she and my stepdad (they're not Catholic) started bombarding me with text messages, asking why I hadn't called or texted her yet. It was barely noon when they started with me. I tried to explain, but they refused to return my texts or answer my calls.

Fast forward to last week. We had plans to have dinner on Saturday, but they cancelled (on either Thursday or Friday, I can't remember) because they forgot about dinner plans with someone who was having a birthday. I didn't fuss about it at all. They asked me if we could push it back a week (this weekend). I agreed.

This evening, a friend calls me to ensure that I'm picking him up for a meeting tomorrow. I totally forgot about the meetings, that will last all day, so I send my mom a text telling her I can't make it tomorrow. My stepdad gets on the phone and sends me a text, stating that my mom has empty nest syndrome and that she needs me. I try to explain, and I remind them about them cancelling on me last weekend, but I get no response.

My parents live about 40 minutes away but I don't get to see them often because I work full time and I am a grad student. I'm also the head of a fraternal organization and that takes up a lot of my time. So I don't get to see my parents that much. But I feel as if they are overreacting.

I want to reconcile with them because I want to honor my parents, but just how much of this am I required/expected to take? It feels like they take every opportunity to make me feel bad.

 I don't think adult children have a duty to obey their parents, just honoring them is a duty. I think what they expect of you is obedience.

There can be a duty to obey your parents as an adult, but as St. Thomas Aquinas says:

Nevertheless man is bound to obey his fellow-man in things that have to be done externally by means of the body: and yet, since by nature all men are equal, he is not bound to obey another man in matters touching the nature of the body, for instance in those relating to the support of his body or the begetting of his children.

as I have not been blessed with children...


Pat

You have been blessed with an acute sense of empathy, compassion and common sense.  Thanks for you r contribution here.

@daegus: I know how you feel. I, too, have a very strained relationship with my mother.

@Oremus:

The advice offered here so far has been good and Christ-honoring; I cannot add much except to agree that as SOON as it is possible for you to do even the SMALLEST thing to bless your mother in some way, be it by visiting her home, taking her for a meal, or what-have-you, do it expediently and with a glad heart.

Remember that whatever we do for others, we do for Our Lord Jesus Christ, as He said. Also, whatever we do to honor our mothers can be and should always be a reflection of the honor and love that we feel toward our Blessed Mother, the Virgin. She is the model for mothers, and we should honor OUR mothers because they occupy a role that has been sanctified and deemed worthy of much esteem by Our Lord Himself.

I will certainly be praying for everyone here who faces these trying issues surrounding the honor due our parents, and I ask your prayers as well; I have not historically made it easy for my parents to rejoice over my life, but by the graces given to me by Our Lord, I am working hard to amend my life and give honor where it is due.

St. Gerard Majella, patron of mothers, pray for us.

St. Anne, mother of Our Lady, pray for us.

Holy Mary, Mother of Our Lord, pray for us.

Holy Child Jesus, teach us to be obedient and loving to our parents.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.