You ARE kidding, right?
I pity the poor children who have to grow up in this world with such names.
If you aren't kidding, I'm sure many here will do their best to help you understand the importance of giving your child a patron saint to look up to, to imitate, and to implore the saint's help throughout one's life. But, since I DO trust (hope?) that you are having a bit of fun with us, I'll just check back with you later.