Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
When everything is coming you're way, your in the wrong lane.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?
When Im not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
I poured some Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
OK, so whats the speed of dark?