What if a family is struggling to make ends meet  how can they be open to a large family if the more children they will have the poorer they will get?

  What are the arguments that should be told to them if they insist that contraception is the only way to keep them from financial ruin?

What if a family is struggling to make ends meet  how can they be open to a large family if the more children they will have the poorer they will get?

  What are the arguments that should be told to them if they insist that contraception is the only way to keep them from financial ruin?

Unfortunately, the notion of chastity within marriage will be laughed at by most people, since the notion of chastity in any event is considered laughable. But that's ultimately the key, isn't it. You can't be 100% certain, even with approved natural methods of family planning, that a pregnancy will not result. That leaves abstinence, which is a hard cross to bear for a married couple in love.

If a couple cannot resolve to abstain, then they have to set their minds upon two questions:

1. Are our conjugal expressions irresponsible when we know we cannot afford to raise another child?

or...

2. Will the Lord simply provide if we opt for unrestrained conjugality and reproduction within our marriage?

These are things that a couple ought to take into consideration before marriage, of course, but how many do?  If you disregard the sinful nature of contraception, of course, then children are like automobile purchases and sex is just an expression (at best).

One would, however, be tempted to become annoyed by observing the circuмstance of a couple who marry only to discover, after their first child, that one of the two partners has become no longer capable of reproduction. And, of course, we know that an inability to reproduce is not an insurmountable impediment to marriage, either, in the first place. Things like that can cause other married Catholics to wonder, I'm sure. It would seem unfair to some, I suppose.

We're in that boat.

Docs are pushing contraception on us all the time.  But we remain faithful, and against the culture of death.

You wanna know what a poverty-stricken family is like?  Go to the Philippines, and witness families living under tarps.

In India contraception is rampant among Catholics, so much so that the community seems to be in decline. The SSPX priory in India preaches against contraception at least once a month to it's faithful. Contraception is firmly in place across the country, as elsewhere in the world, but you still see large families among some Hindus and Muslims. Life may be a struggle for a while, but even in India there is a shortage of unskilled and semi-skilled labour, so the struggle does not last forever.

What if a family is struggling to make ends meet  how can they be open to a large family if the more children they will have the poorer they will get?

  What are the arguments that should be told to them if they insist that contraception is the only way to keep them from financial ruin?

Just a thought....

perhaps people should be taught about natural family planning as an alternative to contraception. people should be careful about having children if they know they are going to struggle financially.

Quote from: jman123

What if a family is struggling to make ends meet  how can they be open to a large family if the more children they will have the poorer they will get?

  What are the arguments that should be told to them if they insist that contraception is the only way to keep them from financial ruin?

Just a thought....

perhaps people should be taught about natural family planning as an alternative to contraception. people should be careful about having children if they know they are going to struggle financially.

Oh, boy.  I am sure to open up a hornet's nest, as my grandmother used to say, by commenting on this.  But the callousness with which you present NFP as a "alternative" to contraception really bothers me.

Most Americans have zero idea of what real poverty is.  I do not know a single family who lives in a tent beside the creek with no running water or electricity.  What constitutes poverty in the United States is considered magnificent wealth in many Asian and African countries.  In fact, I have known  plenty of people who lived like royalty in South Korea making $40,000 a year.  

It is our standards, our attachment to material things, the Protestant work ethic, and our U.S. laws that make it difficult for people to have a real family today.  Our elitist politicians have NO clue, nor do most middle-class people care about the factors that one-income families face on a daily basis.  

In other words, poverty is relative these days.  


Now to this comment:

perhaps people should be taught about natural family planning as an alternative to contraception. people should be careful about having children if they know they are going to struggle financially

I really don't know what to say.  NFP is taught to people, Novus Ordo Catholics actually, as an acceptable form of birth control.  I know, because it was taught to me.  We had 3 children and didn't think we could "afford" more.  I developed a conscience that the condoms we were using was morally wrong, but we just knew that having more children would make our circuмstances more difficult.  We took a class at my parish.  I didn't like anything about it.  I am not going into detail right now about it.

Funny thing, though, when God is ready to challenge your way of thinking He will.  I got pregnant with Number 4.  Initially it was frightening and difficult.  We had no insurance and couldn't afford another child.  But......the struggle of it all actually caused us to look at our lives and make some necessary changes.  Changes we wouldn't have made otherwise.  Our lives got BETTER not worse, when I quit my job and we moved.  Amazing.

I know plenty of people who share stories similar to mine.  You see, it is truly very rare that a family really experiences a circuмstance where welcoming another child is a burden or hardship.  I know one family who has 2 children and the mother is mentally ill.  This family sees their "NFP" as a sacrifice, a cross for them to bear---not a gift for them to keep from having children.

Not a single one of us knows when we might "struggle financially."  It is not something we can really predict.   I also know a woman whose husband was a engineer.  They have 6 children, another due in May.  One Saturday afternoon, the husband had a heart attack, leaving his widow to care for 7 children.  Who, but Our Lord, could have known???

NFP is a curse.  We "practiced" it.  It's horrible to want to be with your spouse and can't.  When you impose this on yourself because of some irrational fear that you may struggle financially it is utterly ridiculous and it will so some damage to your marriage, especially if one of you is uneasy about the "practice" in the first place.  I would NEVER suggest NFP to anyone, except in an unusual situation.  Perhaps this is better discussed in another post.

We have 7 children.  Every single day, I thank the good Lord for sending them to us.  It is a horrible struggle, sometimes, to keep food on the table.  But we manage.  One week, when we had $25 left from our paycheck, a friend dropped by with a box of food, including a ham.  

I cry sometimes because we need a 12 passenger van.  We have a van that seats 7.  When we have to all go somewhere together, we have to drive illegally and uncomfortably.  We have offered it to Our Lord while we pray.  This is our suffering right now.

I cannot imagine our lives without any of our children.  Yes, it costs a lot to raise children.  It is not easy.  Sometimes you struggle, but the rewards are immeasurable.  

What if a family is struggling to make ends meet  how can they be open to a large family if the more children they will have the poorer they will get?

  What are the arguments that should be told to them if they insist that contraception is the only way to keep them from financial ruin?

If couples did not have children until they could afford them - besides rich people, who would have children at all ?