I was wondering  :confused1: what to usual custom is regarding buying an engagement ring.

Do you buy one on your own and keep it a surprise?

Or do you pop the question without the ring and then go ring shopping after?

My hunch is to keep it a surprise and buy it yourself but there are those that say she should be able to choose it herself. I want to do it the right way as its not everyday that this happens.

Sorry for my ignorance but this is not something I have had to deal with on a regular basis.  :wink:

You get a ring and then arrange for the special time and place which she will always treasure, she will tell your children how it happened.  

Sometimes there are heirloom rings so you use a nice ring box from a Jєωeler's to present it.

 

You get a ring and then arrange for the special time and place which she will always treasure, she will tell your children how it happened.  

Sometimes there are heirloom rings so you use a nice ring box from a Jєωeler's to present it.

 

Thanks Elizabeth. So you don't think its too much of an issue if she does not choose the design?

Quote from: Augustinian

This day and age it's better to just skip the ring altogether.

Why do you say that?

To avoid fostering a materialistic or consumerist mentality in her. And to avoid spending an absurd amount of money on a piece of Jєωelry. It will probably cost you $5,000 for a "doable" ring. That's money better spent elsewhere - like a years worth of food. Tiffany knockoffs go for $500 - and if you ask me that's still too much for a woman to be wearing on her finger.

My fiance got no ring. She understands why and she agrees. If you do go the route of getting her a ring, you should pick it out yourself. And don't pay any attention to that "spend six/three months salary" stuff. Leave all that to valley girls and their counterparts.

My point is that even though it's not intrinsically evil, it's really not prudent considering the state of the modern world and its people.

I understand what you mean and I am definitely not putting myself into debt or putting myself behind in any way so I see no problem with it. I already have the materials as I bought them as an investment some time ago and I even know a trad Jєωeler so I think I'm set.

Quote from: Elizabeth

You get a ring and then arrange for the special time and place which she will always treasure, she will tell your children how it happened.  

Sometimes there are heirloom rings so you use a nice ring box from a Jєωeler's to present it.

 

Thanks Elizabeth. So you don't think its too much of an issue if she does not choose the design?

My in-law got a huge diamond ring at a pawn shop, worth many more thousands at a Jєωeler's, for about $500.   :jumping2:  Something like that you would have blessed by the priest before presenting it in the little velvet box we love so much.

And you would never mention the fact that it did not cost $8,000.00 originally, because it is not the price tag that matters.  Good Jєωelers will admit that the value and beauty is highly subjective, due to the emotions of wedding engagements.

You have to know the correct size.  There is a real risk with getting the size changed and Jєωelers stealing the good gem and replacing it with a fake or one of lesser value.

I think the idea of the lady choosing her own engagement ring is one of those modern feminist things?  I am not sure.  Check out Emily Post (very WASP but a safe guide for etiquette compared to modern immodest wedding gowns and smashing cake into each other's faces).  I was taught that a lady would never discuss money, but who knows, my family was "colorful" and I was not immune from the modern feminist social engineers.

So, how do you get the correct ring size on the sly?  Maybe google will tell you.

Quote from: Augustinian

Quote from: Zenith

Quote from: Augustinian

This day and age it's better to just skip the ring altogether.

Why do you say that?

By the way I love how google reads the thread topic and puts the appropriate ads up.

To avoid fostering a materialistic or consumerist mentality in her.

I don't believe she is a materialistic person and if she is, it is going to come out at some stage whether or not I buy her a ring.

It is not necessarily materialistic-it's just feminine to have someone love you so much that he wants to see you in the ring he chose.  

 We were too broke for a diamond.  I certainly have no problem with being frugal, which is why I would recommend a pawn shop.  

Then, at the day of the wedding a string of pearls is really nice.  Even freshwater pearls, which can be made by a friend inexpensively.

Quote from: Elizabeth

Quote from: Zenith

Quote from: Elizabeth

You get a ring and then arrange for the special time and place which she will always treasure, she will tell your children how it happened.  

Sometimes there are heirloom rings so you use a nice ring box from a Jєωeler's to present it.

 

Thanks Elizabeth. So you don't think its too much of an issue if she does not choose the design?

My in-law got a huge diamond ring at a pawn shop, worth many more thousands at a Jєωeler's, for about $500.   :jumping2:  Something like that you would have blessed by the priest before presenting it in the little velvet box we love so much.

And you would never mention the fact that it did not cost $8,000.00 originally, because it is not the price tag that matters.  Good Jєωelers will admit that the value and beauty is highly subjective, due to the emotions of wedding engagements.

You have to know the correct size.  There is a real risk with getting the size changed and Jєωelers stealing the good gem and replacing it with a fake or one of lesser value.

I think the idea of the lady choosing her own engagement ring is one of those modern feminist things?  I am not sure.  Check out Emily Post (very WASP but a safe guide for etiquette compared to modern immodest wedding gowns and smashing cake into each other's faces).  I was taught that a lady would never discuss money, but who knows, my family was "colorful" and I was not immune from the modern feminist social engineers.

So, how do you get the correct ring size on the sly?  Maybe google will tell you.

Well I already have the ring size and I know a traditional catholic Jєωeler so I think I'm on a home run.  :smile:

Congratulations !

(Assuming she says yes :smile:)