Author Topic: Do I need to marry?  (Read 1772 times)

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Offline Pelly

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Do I need to marry?
« on: January 13, 2013, 10:03:51 AM »
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  • I want to become a doctor. I decided this way in my NO age, because of a familiar tragedy: a cousin's celiac disease (this is a big tragedy for a Catholic). Society teaches that celiacs can live a complete life, but the truth that celiac disease is a disablity in the eyes of a Catholic, especially a Trad, Since low-gluten hosts are not an option, since it's a NO habit, medical intervention is required, especially if it's a serious case or it's wheat allergy or a grape/wine intolerance makes him/her irregular. Sadly, socieity has almost no awareness for Communion. If the Church returns to Tradition, it becomes a major issue.
    But since I'm a woman, I have a question: do I need to marry? I don't feel love... I mean, I didn't have a crush. Plus, I don't wanna have babies, because labour is so painful, and I have a fear of anaesthetics. I have a general fear about people ripping me up. Plus, how can I handle a newborn baby? Like, I have a fear of dropping the baby. If I can convert my mom and if she doesn't die early, then I can leave the baby for her (when (s)he gets older). Sadly, I think that there's no Trad schools in Hungary, so I need to hire a teacher. (Also, medics are rich so they can afford private teachers. So, if school is compulsory, then I can get a private teacher instead of giving him/her to a state school.)
    Also, is there any medical university that doesn't teach evolution? Since I want to remove as many Communion impediments as I can, plus to get the maximum on disabled persons, I need this madical training. I don't wanna become a convicted felon for quackery. Maybe, I can eradicate homosexuality (this is an aim), plus, I want to seperate demoniacs from psychotics and remove the New Age from medicine.

    Offline Catechist99

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #1 on: January 13, 2013, 10:09:43 AM »
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  • Sounds like you may have a religious vocation.


    Offline Lighthouse

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #2 on: January 13, 2013, 11:30:06 AM »
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  • I think you have overblown this gluten thing from some kind of physical disability to some overwhelming theological hurdle.  If arrangements can be made for wheelchairs at the communion rail, it should be possible to accommodate someone to receive just a very small particle.

    I don't think anyone will ever end homosexuality (barring universal conversion), anymore than one can end homicidal tendencies or gluttony. When you think of it that way, it would seem to exclude a moral dimension.

    You appear to be badly in need of some close-up advice that you will not get over the internet and that will not take advantage of your stress.



    Offline Pelly

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #3 on: January 13, 2013, 11:40:44 AM »
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  • @Lighthouse If low-gluten hosts are valid matter, then it would be a lesser issue. But since a number of celiacs are prone to grape/wine intolerance (Coincidence? An attack?) it's still an issue.
    Actually, heterosexuals doing sodomy is a graver act. Plus, the problem of New Age infiltrating the medical care and demoniacs locked up in madhouses are a major issue.
    The sodomite lifestyle is a Communion impediment itself, so I need to treat it effectively somehow. The thing that mainstream psychology says that it's normal.

    Offline LaramieHirsch

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #4 on: January 13, 2013, 11:55:00 AM »
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  • No.  Why put yourself through the trouble of marriage and rearing children if you don't want it?  The world is already full of "half-way" parents.  Save yourself the trouble.  You'll never know what it's like to have a family of your own, but at least you didn't ruin lives to find that out.

    A chaste life may be for you.  Stay away from men.

    You could have a career.  But I'd recommend a religious vocation.


    Are you from Hungary?  I think it'd be cool to expat there.
    .........................

    Before some audiences not even the possession of the exactest knowledge will make it easy for what we say to produce conviction. For argument based on knowledge implies instruction, and there are people whom one cannot instruct.  - Aristotle


    Offline drivocek

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #5 on: January 13, 2013, 11:56:24 AM »
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  • Find a good Traditional priest and explore your concerns with him. "Storm Heaven with prayers."  No, you don't have to marry.  Your fears of birthing can be resolved. Your other concerns, e. g. homosexuality, are under God's Divine Will. Is there a SSPX priest near?  BTW, I apologize that the usa did not come to your aid in 1956 whilst soviet tanks waited.

           Quantum Potes, Tantum Aude.

    Offline Tiffany

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #6 on: January 14, 2013, 05:33:30 AM »
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  • Hi Pelly!
    Have you been around any happy marriages, been to their home and seem them interact? Have you been around women that didn't practice contraception? I wonder if you are influenced by the media with these views? I was afraid of childbirth but I'm 100% sure it was from the media. I was never close with any married people (like parents, extended family) so didn't understand what a wonderful thing it can be.

    Offline Pelly

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #7 on: January 14, 2013, 11:10:06 AM »
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  • No, I wasn't influenced by the media.


    Online Nadir

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #8 on: January 14, 2013, 06:30:22 PM »
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  • Quote from: Pelly
    I want to become a doctor. I decided this way in my NO age, because of a familiar tragedy: a cousin's celiac disease (this is a big tragedy for a Catholic). Society teaches that celiacs can live a complete life, but the truth that celiac disease is a disablity in the eyes of a Catholic, especially a Trad, Since low-gluten hosts are not an option, since it's a NO habit, medical intervention is required, especially if it's a serious case or it's wheat allergy or a grape/wine intolerance makes him/her irregular. Sadly, socieity has almost no awareness for Communion. If the Church returns to Tradition, it becomes a major issue.
    But since I'm a woman, I have a question: do I need to marry? I don't feel love... I mean, I didn't have a crush. Plus, I don't wanna have babies, because labour is so painful, and I have a fear of anaesthetics. I have a general fear about people ripping me up. Plus, how can I handle a newborn baby? Like, I have a fear of dropping the baby. If I can convert my mom and if she doesn't die early, then I can leave the baby for her (when (s)he gets older). Sadly, I think that there's no Trad schools in Hungary, so I need to hire a teacher. (Also, medics are rich so they can afford private teachers. So, if school is compulsory, then I can get a private teacher instead of giving him/her to a state school.)
    Also, is there any medical university that doesn't teach evolution? Since I want to remove as many Communion impediments as I can, plus to get the maximum on disabled persons, I need this madical training. I don't wanna become a convicted felon for quackery. Maybe, I can eradicate homosexuality (this is an aim), plus, I want to seperate demoniacs from psychotics and remove the New Age from medicine.


    Dear Pelly,

    As much as you may desire to change the world - solve the problems of coeliacs, eradicate homosexuality, seperate demoniacs from psychotics and remove the New Age from medicine - there is a limit on what any one of us can achieve. But at 15 years of age, one can dream. I did.

    Are you able to talk with your parents about these things?

    Do you have brother/s and sister/s?

    Why do you think that you would have only one child?
    then leave that one with your mother?

    Every woman normally feels the pain of childbirth, but where would the world be if we all decided to avoid all pain? The pain is shortlived and the joy is greater, believe me.
    :baby:

    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #9 on: January 14, 2013, 07:28:39 PM »
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  • You might feel differently about marriage in a year or two. Of all the fears that growing up brings, do not allow fear of childbirth and caring for an infant to worry you. The maternal strength that God gives you in that time is unbelievable. You'll be so ready to meet your little blessing that the pain won't matter.  

    You don't have to worry about dropping a baby either. This is a child you'll have bonded with long before they are born. They know your voice and want to be comforted by you. Your instincts will kick in and you'll feel so protective that everything will be just fine.  

    Don't decide you don't want that experience just yet. It's truly amazing if that is what the Lord wants for you.

    God bless you.
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25

    Offline ggreg

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #10 on: January 15, 2013, 04:56:15 AM »
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  • Quote from: Nadir
    Quote from: Pelly
    I want to become a doctor. I decided this way in my NO age, because of a familiar tragedy: a cousin's celiac disease (this is a big tragedy for a Catholic). Society teaches that celiacs can live a complete life, but the truth that celiac disease is a disablity in the eyes of a Catholic, especially a Trad, Since low-gluten hosts are not an option, since it's a NO habit, medical intervention is required, especially if it's a serious case or it's wheat allergy or a grape/wine intolerance makes him/her irregular. Sadly, socieity has almost no awareness for Communion. If the Church returns to Tradition, it becomes a major issue.
    But since I'm a woman, I have a question: do I need to marry? I don't feel love... I mean, I didn't have a crush. Plus, I don't wanna have babies, because labour is so painful, and I have a fear of anaesthetics. I have a general fear about people ripping me up. Plus, how can I handle a newborn baby? Like, I have a fear of dropping the baby. If I can convert my mom and if she doesn't die early, then I can leave the baby for her (when (s)he gets older). Sadly, I think that there's no Trad schools in Hungary, so I need to hire a teacher. (Also, medics are rich so they can afford private teachers. So, if school is compulsory, then I can get a private teacher instead of giving him/her to a state school.)
    Also, is there any medical university that doesn't teach evolution? Since I want to remove as many Communion impediments as I can, plus to get the maximum on disabled persons, I need this madical training. I don't wanna become a convicted felon for quackery. Maybe, I can eradicate homosexuality (this is an aim), plus, I want to seperate demoniacs from psychotics and remove the New Age from medicine.


    Dear Pelly,

    As much as you may desire to change the world - solve the problems of coeliacs, eradicate homosexuality, seperate demoniacs from psychotics and remove the New Age from medicine - there is a limit on what any one of us can achieve. But at 15 years of age, one can dream. I did.

    Are you able to talk with your parents about these things?

    Do you have brother/s and sister/s?

    Why do you think that you would have only one child?
    then leave that one with your mother?

    Every woman normally feels the pain of childbirth, but where would the world be if we all decided to avoid all pain? The pain is shortlived and the joy is greater, believe me.
    :baby:


    Thanks for reminding me of what it was to be young and idealistic.

    Your OP reminds me of the Monty Python sketch called "How to do it" which was a satire of an English TV show called Blue Peter.




    Online Nadir

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #11 on: January 15, 2013, 02:33:17 PM »
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  • Quote from: ggreg


    Thanks for reminding me of what it was to be young and idealistic.

    Your OP reminds me of the Monty Python sketch called "How to do it" which was a satire of an English TV show called Blue Peter.




    Love it!

    BTW, How did you know that was me in the middle one? Now my identity will be revealed.  :dwarf:

    Offline Capt McQuigg

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #12 on: January 15, 2013, 02:40:16 PM »
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  • You do not need to marry.

    Live a holy and celebate life.

    Offline brotherfrancis75

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    Do I need to marry?
    « Reply #13 on: January 15, 2013, 05:47:45 PM »
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  • Quote from: Pelly
    I want to become a doctor. I decided this way in my NO age, because of a familiar tragedy: a cousin's celiac disease (this is a big tragedy for a Catholic). Society teaches that celiacs can live a complete life, but the truth that celiac disease is a disablity in the eyes of a Catholic, especially a Trad, Since low-gluten hosts are not an option, since it's a NO habit, medical intervention is required, especially if it's a serious case or it's wheat allergy or a grape/wine intolerance makes him/her irregular. Sadly, socieity has almost no awareness for Communion. If the Church returns to Tradition, it becomes a major issue.
    But since I'm a woman, I have a question: do I need to marry? I don't feel love... I mean, I didn't have a crush. Plus, I don't wanna have babies, because labour is so painful, and I have a fear of anaesthetics. I have a general fear about people ripping me up. Plus, how can I handle a newborn baby? Like, I have a fear of dropping the baby. If I can convert my mom and if she doesn't die early, then I can leave the baby for her (when (s)he gets older). Sadly, I think that there's no Trad schools in Hungary, so I need to hire a teacher. (Also, medics are rich so they can afford private teachers. So, if school is compulsory, then I can get a private teacher instead of giving him/her to a state school.)
    Also, is there any medical university that doesn't teach evolution? Since I want to remove as many Communion impediments as I can, plus to get the maximum on disabled persons, I need this madical training. I don't wanna become a convicted felon for quackery. Maybe, I can eradicate homosexuality (this is an aim), plus, I want to seperate demoniacs from psychotics and remove the New Age from medicine.

    Pelly,

    According to our Catholic religion you certainly don't "need to marry."  Also the only reason Catholics would marry when they don't "feel love" is when there's a clear and legitimate family self-interest, like a family business or powerful family alliances to be forged.  But apart from some overwhelming family need, there's absolutely no reason for a Catholic to marry if they don't "feel love."  Then marriage would almost certainly lead to disaster!

    Even in successful Catholic arranged marriages the spouses normally do "feel love" because the families concerned are careful to make wise choices and the young people involved probably prefer having the family support shown by so much concern.  But evidently none of that applies to you.  And, for you, clearly if you truly want to be a career doctor (or other kind of professional health care worker) then having children would usually greatly conflict with that calling in life.

    So is your concern about childbirth more a fear of having children or a fear of how having children might conflict with your God-given calling to be a doctor?  If it's a fear of childbirth as such, then you may very well outgrow it with time and experience and later very much want children of your own.  A life alone isn't for most people!  Old age without children and a spouse  is usually quite a great sorrow!!  Think carefully about how you'll want to be when you are middle-aged and eventually old.  (That will happen!)

    But...  On the other hand, if your heart's desire is TRULY to be a career doctor or medical professional, then you do have a good point.  Then your whole-hearted devotion to healing and medicine would be much reduced by marriage and children of your own.  Then in later years as a professional healer you would do just fine as a single unmarried woman because your community would value you as such.  But you would need to have a certain joy in your heart!

    Then Our Lord would be your spouse and you would be a kind of religious, whether or not you were in formal orders.  Perhaps you should very seriously consider taking membership in a Third Order, such as the Traditional Carmelite Third Order?  Your words "need to marry" seem to imply perhaps some sense of your "owing" men or others giving yourself in marriage to a man.  If so, then please rest assured that we mere men can never in any way compare with Our Lord as your very own Beloved Spouse!  As a man He is PERFECT and we are far from that.  And He is a Divine Being, not a mere human being like we mere mortal men must be.

    These are serious questions that can't be adequately resolved over the anonymous internet. This writer can only suggest a few pointers...
     
    Sounds to me like perhaps you should also very carefully consider your mother's feelings in all this.  If you find that you feel a calling to marriage and children of your own then remember that we can all change our minds over the years and don't have to stubbornly insist on our pride.  But if a serious professional career in health care truly makes your heart glad, then surely that too is a most noble calling from God as well.  Then it would be wrong for you to chose mere men over Our Lord Himself when He is calling you to the better choice, the choice of Mary over the lesser choice of Martha.

    If the Hound of Heaven is truly calling you to a life of celibacy at His side, then you had best humbly and gratefully obey His commands!!

         

     

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