Moderator: Since CathInfo has mixed company of all ages, I took out some of the explicit details.
I am so happy to read all the responses to my thread. I will get down to the nitty gritty. My husband and I are both Catholic. We were married in the Catholic Church.
Recently, I found out that my husband went to multiple strip clubs (touched stripper and had lap dances), was watching porn at home on his computer, chatting with ex girlfriends online from high school, went to lunch/dinner with female coworkers, and made out with another woman at a bar (Kissing & more). I am deeply saddened by all of this. I feel betrayed.
As far as I know, he did not have sex with another woman. He denies having sex with another woman. He has stopped going to strip clubs and bars and he seems to be remorseful. He says he is very sorry. Currently, we are both in Catholic Marriage Counseling.
I guess my question to you all is: Is this enough for grounds for a Catholic Canon Separation (Divorce)? Did my husband commit adultery on me? Is adultery only considered sex?
In the Catholic Church's eyes, should I forgive my husband even if it through me into major depression? Or, does the Catholic Church see this as justification for a separation of the marriage?
I am extremely saddened and disappointed by what my husband has done. However, we have been married for 20 years and I value marriage. I am deeply hurt by his choices and I am finding it difficult to forgive him and move forward. I still love him, but I am having trouble forgiving him and I am very depressed. My husband seems remorseful after he realized how much damage he has done to our marriage. He said he did not view his behavior as cheating. However, he does now. Since I found out about what he has done he stopped going to strip clubs. He stopped having lunches and dinners with female co-workers. He stopped watching porn. He said he made very bad decisions. He said he still loves me, wants to work things out, and is sorry. We are seeing a Catholic Marriage Therapist. I have been diagnosed with major depression due to my husband's sinful behavior. I have flashbacks of what he has done. I am trying very hard to forgive and move forward. However, it has been very difficult, because trust has been broken.
Please help me make the best decision. What would Jesus want me to do?
Where does the Catholic Church stand on this type of situation?
Thank you! God Bless.