Author Topic: Dating a Jehovahs Witness Inquires. (Read 2683 times)

Alex777 · « **on:** August 23, 2014, 12:51:13 PM »

This is my first post on this forum and website. I would like to open up with a prayer from Psalms 5:1-3

"Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider mediation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, my King and my God, for You I will pray. My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up."

Greeting everyone! My name is Alex and I am currently going through a lot of currently in my life lately and to make a long story short, I will explain my current situation and I'm all ears to responses and ask for prayers and guidance during my transgressions. To start off I am a father of a 6 year old boy and recently I found out that my wife is an adulterer and had a child with another man during my 8 years of marriage. At this time I am going through a rough divorce but kept my faith in God for guidance and help. One of the main things I miss from being married is loves true divine. Shortly, after I've discovered that my wife had the affair, I went on several dating programs and none of them were successful, so I finally tried one more "meeting new people" programs. Shortly, after using it, I did meet new people. But, the facade behind meeting people online are the chances they aren't who they appear. So, at the last moment I decided to delete this program as a whole and just take a break from trying to meet new people and date new people. Before I deleted this program, there was a virtual wall where you can write simple messages and I wrote "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." As soon as I wrote that, I had someone respond to me. It was this beautiful young girl that I couldn't believe it to be true, until we started chatting. Fast forward a couple of months, we have been chatting, exchanging pictures of ourselves (nothing explicit) and even chatting on the phone briefly. Throughout this time I had discovered she is a Jehovah's Witness and I am a Catholic. This is where I thought such a great relationship would blossom, however I know its going to be an up hill challenge, since JW think everyone out of their religion is working for the devil. This is a challenge that I would accept and fight for.

I reject the false doctrines of Jehovah Witnesses and did research on their cult, but I cannot tell her all the things I know about how awful her religion is because I don't want to scare her away or even worse have her stop talking to me as a whole. I pray to God to deliver his Holy Spirit through her to help her reach out to me more open minded and even better, help her convert her away from JW. If and once we live together, I plan on informing her about her religion, when the time is right.

I know that God speaks through us with parables and each time I see a sign, I either take a picture or I remember it and discuss it with her (as well as her, but I don't say that God is doing this for us, because again I don't want rush things with her, especially religion differences).

Since her religion is based of more of mind control and tolerance not to disobey her congregation, I know that its going to be more challenging. For an example, she thinks I am coming off to her too strong, when in fact I know that I am not. She say's that she hasn't felt this love that we have before and I know its pure because she has a clean soul. Her emotions are new to her, which in part might make her a little confused and angry because she is experiencing loves true diving and its unconditioned. She even stated to me that she wouldn't mind being "disfellowshipped" to be with me (which means a lot because that statement alone means she loves me whole heartily).

A good example is, I sent her flowers last week and she got mad at me because her parents obviously found out and she said she wasn't ready to tell her father (who happens to be an elder). I didn't attach my name to it, but I did have the following message on it (from First Corinthians 12:4-8):

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Maybe I shouldn't have sent the flowers, but I did it out of selflessness. She said she want's a little space now because she might of gotten in trouble and is mad at me (but being mad is only temporary).

I have been closer to my faith with God since I met her and I have given up a lot of sinful acts that I once did prior. I look out for Gods signs daily and praying that I can finally be with her. God has me on a mission with her and only I and her can discover it. Once we finally are together in person, we can see if this feeling is real or just a fantasy. I personally think its real. But, time will tell.

So what I ask from everyone is, is there anyone else who has been in this situation and what was their actions they took to help make their loved one successfully be together? I would ask for anyone to help pray for me in this situation to have her successfully break her chains from her cult religion.

Matto · « **Reply #1 on:** August 23, 2014, 01:07:18 PM »

I thought it was a sin to remarry after a divorce.

Alex777 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 23, 2014, 01:11:30 PM »

I'm a victim of spousal abuse, everything I've tried to fix was left in shambles. I'm sure the Lord understands my situation

2Vermont · « **Reply #3 on:** August 23, 2014, 01:13:49 PM »

OP, what made you choose this forum for advice? You don't sound like a Traditional Catholic.

Mabel · « **Reply #4 on:** August 23, 2014, 01:32:37 PM »

Your wife has an affair and your first thought is dating and going on dating websites?
You need to rectify the situation with your wife by first getting your spiritual life in order. Find a traditional Catholic priest who says the Latin mass, NOT affiliated with your diocese, and ask him to hear your confession and to advise you. Drop the JW girlfriend lest you join your wife in being an adulterer.

Focus on being a father to your son and seeing that he is catechized. Use St. Joseph for your model.

Forget about the girl, you have a soul to save.

TKGS · « **Reply #5 on:** August 23, 2014, 01:43:35 PM »

Quote from: Matto

I thought it was a sin to remarry after a divorce.

I am just a little confused. Was Alex777 a Jehovah's Witness or just this girl he's seeing? Did he profess that Catholic Faith when he married his wife? Did he marry in the Church? Did he marry in the Conciliar sect?

If he was a Jehovah's Witness, then the Pauline Privilege may apply since the Jehovah's Witnesses are not Christian and Alex777 may be free to marry now that he is converted. This is something about which a good traditional Catholic priest would need to advise him.

If he professed the Catholic Faith, he is not free to remarry and his participation in dating/meeting new people programs is probably mortally sinful as its only purpose would be to find a woman with whom to commit adultery.

If he did not marry in the Church or even in the Conciliar sect, i.e., a Justice of the Peace, the marriage may very well be invalid due to form and he may still be free to marry.

Quote from: 2Vermont

OP, what made you choose this forum for advice? You don't sound like a Traditional Catholic.

I'm wondering the same thing. I hope that you're trying to discover the Truth. If not, you're not going to like what you hear on this forum--even though it will mostly be what you have to hear to gain eternal life.

Mabel's advice above is on the money.

2Vermont · « **Reply #6 on:** August 23, 2014, 01:44:48 PM »

I agree...Mabel has some awesome solid, Traditional Catholic advice right there.

ClarkSmith · « **Reply #7 on:** August 23, 2014, 02:05:11 PM »

Quote

make a long story short, I will explain my current situation and I'm all ears to responses and ask for prayers and guidance during my transgressions. To start off I am a father of a 6 year old boy and recently I found out that my wife is an adulterer and had a child with another man during my 8 years of marriage.

You should have given us the full story. Adultery is not grounds for an annulment. We can only try to help you with your marriage. We can't help you hook up with a JW woman.

Did you leave your wife because she had an affair? Did your wife leave you? How did you find out she was pregnant with another man's child? Did your wife want to fix it?

Alex777 · « **Reply #8 on:** August 23, 2014, 02:21:55 PM »

I am a Catholic. Ive been baptised, went through communion, and Sunday school. Ive stop going to church in my teenage years due to my parents divorce. I kept my faith in Jesus. Mymarriage was fine for the first several years. however, my wife became very abuse towards me both physically and emotionaly. Whats been done cannot be repaired. We ve had councelling and nothing works. Its gotten so bad she tries to use witch craft towards me. I do attend my son all the time. I do not seek my relationship with my girlfriend just for sɛҳuąƖ pleasure. Im not am adulterer. Im seeking loves divine.

RomanCatholic1953 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 23, 2014, 02:34:21 PM »

I advise against it.

We must insist on the traditional teachings of the Church.

No dating of any non Catholics. Period.

Alex777 · « **Reply #10 on:** August 23, 2014, 02:56:41 PM »

But what if its that person whats to seek out of their religion?Wouldn't God want us to pray for that individual to seek his salvation through his means. I feel as though i can help convert her into Catholicism so we can seek a spirtual union

Mabel · « **Reply #11 on:** August 23, 2014, 02:56:45 PM »

Alex,
If I knew your location, I would be happy to assist you in finding a solid traditional priest to confess and give spiritual direction. Feel free to post it or send me a a private message. I'm sure other people here would be happy to do the same. This is really a matter to discuss with a priest and not a message board.

Aleah · « **Reply #12 on:** August 23, 2014, 03:03:53 PM »

Quote from: Alex777

But what if its that person whats to seek out of their religion?Wouldn't God want us to pray for that individual to seek his salvation through his means. I feel as though i can help convert her into Catholicism so we can seek a spirtual union

Hi Alex,
One can assist with helping with a conversion, but this isn't the scenario presented.

This is the mixing of religion with an attraction for a woman and it appears your life isn't in a position to handle either scenario.

Alex, I suggest that you take a step back from the situation and work on your own spiritual life and seek a traditional Catholic priest to help you in your endeavors.

God Bless,
Aleah

Matthew · « **Reply #13 on:** August 23, 2014, 03:18:05 PM »

Quote from: Alex777

I am a Catholic. Ive been baptised, went through communion, and Sunday school. Ive stop going to church in my teenage years due to my parents divorce. I kept my faith in Jesus. Mymarriage was fine for the first several years. however, my wife became very abuse towards me both physically and emotionaly. Whats been done cannot be repaired. We ve had councelling and nothing works. Its gotten so bad she tries to use witch craft towards me. I do attend my son all the time. I do not seek my relationship with my girlfriend just for sɛҳuąƖ pleasure. Im not am adulterer. Im seeking loves divine.

To be brutally honest, I hate threads like this one because I *know* the advice that must be given will be *hard* advice. Hard for the person (you) to hear and accept.

It sounds like your biggest issue is your own spiritual life. If you're not attending Mass every Sunday, then it doesn't really matter what else you do. You're not on the road to salvation. There is only one way to be saved -- the Catholic Church. And the Church doesn't offer a "homeschool" or "telecommute" option where you can worship God from a boat or beautiful prairie, or where "God understands". You attend Mass every Sunday, or you add yet another mortal sin to your soul each Sunday.

The only way it's not sinful to avoid Mass and the sacraments is if there is no Mass available within a 1 hour drive of your home. If you understand the Crisis in the Church and insist on a Traditional (pre-Vatican II; the way Catholicism was practiced from the beginning until 1960) Mass and priest, then you might very well fall into this category.

I hate to have to be so brutally honest with you, but I'd be remiss if I led you astray or approved of something sinful.

Parents going through a divorce is NOT a reason to stop attending Mass. However, it's possible that you stopped going for another reason too -- the Church changed drastically in 1969 and became Protestant for all intents and purposes. Many Catholics stopped going after that. And today, most young MEN stop going to Mass once they stop being boys -- among those who attend their local diocese.

Have you ever been to a Catholic Mass in Latin? Or was it always in English, facing the people, with communion given in the hand, etc.?

Anyhow, long story short, you can't bring in other issues into your life until it is stable. And it doesn't sound like it's stable.

Once it's stable, you could visit the annulment and potential mixed-marriage issue.

But you need to attack the issues in the correct order, with a sense of priority.

To lift someone out of a pit, you have to have a firm footing on the ground yourself. If your own footing is unstable, both you AND she will end up at the bottom of the pit. Remember, the devil is real, he exists, and he wants your soul. Also, he is highly intelligent. Don't underestimate him. Trust the Church. The laws of God, taught by the Church, are for our own good -- not to annoy us or be a "wet blanket" on our fun.

God wants us to be happy forever in heaven, even if it requires giving up some illicit pleasures here on earth. Even if it requires making some sacrifices during this very short life we have here on earth. The devil, on the other hand, wants you to enjoy even forbidden pleasures and joys here on earth, so you can spend eternity in hell. Who is your friend?

My personal advice on the new woman -- I'd stop the dating for several months and think about it long and hard. Men can be quite confused when a pretty face is involved; I've been there myself.

With prayers,

Matthew

Alex777 · « **Reply #14 on:** August 23, 2014, 03:34:34 PM »

Thanks for the feedback. I can go to my local church and talk to a priest about this sotuation. I do have a plan and by the grace of God, I do know everything happens for a reason as stated in Ecclesiastes 3:1-1. Everything is a testament in life. I thought and analyzed my current situation and I already know what i want to do in life.