A Cowboy's Guide to Life


* Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
* Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
* Meanness don't jest happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It does not take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot un-say a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about is not going to happen anyway.
* Don't squat down with your spurs on.
* Don't judge people by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.
* The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
* It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
* If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
* Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot  bigger'n you think.
* Only cows know why they stampede.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure  it's still there with ya.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get 'thumped'.
* Never, ever miss a good opportunity to shut up.