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 :dancing-banana:
This may sound weird, but hear me out. The best place for traditional Catholics is a "world class" city like New York or London, one that is crowded with people from every imaginable nationality, race, religion, and lifestyle. The reason I say this is that one can "hide out in the open." If a family can afford to live there and can homeschool, two problems that result in loss of the Faith for the young are greatly lessened.  First, what I call the "hothouse plant syndrome" where children grow up overly protected from the world, then when they discover it, (in their adolescence, usually), they are severely tempted.  As defenceless young adults, they give it a try and get ensnared.  In the world city environment, they grow up "protected" in the home, all the while being strengthened in their Faith by guided exposure to world.  By the time they reach adulthood, they have seen past the surface allure and are far less likely to discard their Faith for what they know is chocolate-covered cyanide.  The second problem greatly lessened by living in a multiethnic city is that of peer pressure to "fit in." For example, many traditional Catholics who live in the suburbs lead double lives.  They look and act Catholic for two hours on Sunday morning, then change into their "normal" clothes and look and act like everyone else the rest of the week.  Reason?  If you dress like a traditional Catholic in the 'burbs, you stand out and are subject to stares, derision, harassment, discrimination at work, mockery, and, for children and youth especially, bullying and the prospect of having no friends.  Few adults have the backbone for this.  Even fewer adolescents can endure growing up as a social reject without arriving at adulthood having lost the Faith or being emotionally scarred. Because of the "certain fashions" Our Lady warned of in 1917, girls are especially affected.   In a city like New York, however, a traditional Catholic modestly attired, is just another fashion in the crowd of people wearing every imaginable garb from saris to burkas to turbans to looking like a prostitute.  In the suburbs, a teen girl who doesn't dress like a harlot is in for a rough ride.  In my Queens, NYC neighborhood, nobody gives me a second glance when I go out in public.  But when I will go shopping for my mother this very day, in the Long Island suburbs, guarantee I will get "looks" because I'm wearing a long denim skirt and a modest top when it is 85° F outside.  Every other woman or girl will be in shorts, skin-tight Capris, a T-shirt or too tight-top with skin showing on the bottom or up top.  I'm 54, so the "looks" don't bother me.  But to require this of a 14 year old girl is unreasonable.  Trad parents recognise this. They look the other way. So long as their daughters wear trad clothes to Mass, they let them dress in jeans and shorts the rest of the week.  Most of the parents do the same.  At least one other CI member, holysoulsacademy, who also lives in the NY metro area, agrees with me.  She has a large family and is a homeschooler.  Their family blends in with their multiethnic neighbors.  

Great post, Frances.

This is tough.  Really, tough.  One issue is cost of living.  If you live on one income, as we do, it is impossible to afford the high cost of housing in a large metropolitan area.  Maybe some could pull it off, but my husband works in mental health.  We would not be able to afford it.  Also, are the big cities safe?  I was just in Philadelphia where all the apartments had bars on the windows and doors.  I can't imagine.  I also can't imagine raising 7 or 10 children in an apartment with no safe place to play.  That traffic through town is awful!   Also, assuming you do live there, how far will you have to travel just to get to your trad parish?  20 or 30 miles?  The cost of having a car in the city seems crazy.  $300 a month just to park?

The suburbs are hard.  And the rural areas are harder.  There are few parishes and fewer trad Catholics.  As far as I know, in my town of about 20,000 we are the only trad Catholic family here.  However, up an hour from here, there are many trad Catholics and several options for Mass.

Just a note, our society is pretty much a pagan culture.  It is hard for anyone to live and work in it, unless you live in seclusion.  It's hard to raise our children without keeping them from everybody.  So you do your best.  Yes, I make some concessions with my girl's regarding shorts.  When they are doing something physical, like playing soccer or bike riding, I let them wear shorts, but they must be knee length and there shirts are long enough to cover their behinds.  When we go to town, they always wear dresses.

Also, when you homeschool, I think it is worth your while to check the laws in your state.  It is very difficult here.  You might also want to check out CYS laws.  

Honestly, there are no perfect places for trads to live.  Besides, will the sedes and SSPX and CMRI, and the independents try to get along anyway?  I doubt it.

We live in a very dark time in the life of the Church.  I think families have to find what works best for them considering all factors.  I think, in these times, one is truly blessed to have access to the Sacraments every day.  But that is not possible for everyone.

The time where we can live in nice little neighborhoods with a church on the corner is gone.  We are back to the catecombs.

As for our family, we want to move to a farm, far away from everyone, so we can have our garden, a cow, a pig, hunt and fish as we please and be left alone to homeschool our kids.  If we could only get to Mass once a month, then we would have to work through that.

So, I don't think there is a perfect place, or even a good place.  You just have to find what works for  you and consider all factors.

Quote from: 2Vermont

Definitely not Vermont.

 :dancing-banana:
This may sound weird, but hear me out. The best place for traditional Catholics is a "world class" city like New York or London, one that is crowded with people from every imaginable nationality, race, religion, and lifestyle. The reason I say this is that one can "hide out in the open." If a family can afford to live there and can homeschool, two problems that result in loss of the Faith for the young are greatly lessened.  First, what I call the "hothouse plant syndrome" where children grow up overly protected from the world, then when they discover it, (in their adolescence, usually), they are severely tempted.  As defenceless young adults, they give it a try and get ensnared.  In the world city environment, they grow up "protected" in the home, all the while being strengthened in their Faith by guided exposure to world.  By the time they reach adulthood, they have seen past the surface allure and are far less likely to discard their Faith for what they know is chocolate-covered cyanide.  The second problem greatly lessened by living in a multiethnic city is that of peer pressure to "fit in." For example, many traditional Catholics who live in the suburbs lead double lives.  They look and act Catholic for two hours on Sunday morning, then change into their "normal" clothes and look and act like everyone else the rest of the week.  Reason?  If you dress like a traditional Catholic in the 'burbs, you stand out and are subject to stares, derision, harassment, discrimination at work, mockery, and, for children and youth especially, bullying and the prospect of having no friends.  Few adults have the backbone for this.  Even fewer adolescents can endure growing up as a social reject without arriving at adulthood having lost the Faith or being emotionally scarred. Because of the "certain fashions" Our Lady warned of in 1917, girls are especially affected.   In a city like New York, however, a traditional Catholic modestly attired, is just another fashion in the crowd of people wearing every imaginable garb from saris to burkas to turbans to looking like a prostitute.  In the suburbs, a teen girl who doesn't dress like a harlot is in for a rough ride.  In my Queens, NYC neighborhood, nobody gives me a second glance when I go out in public.  But when I will go shopping for my mother this very day, in the Long Island suburbs, guarantee I will get "looks" because I'm wearing a long denim skirt and a modest top when it is 85° F outside.  Every other woman or girl will be in shorts, skin-tight Capris, a T-shirt or too tight-top with skin showing on the bottom or up top.  I'm 54, so the "looks" don't bother me.  But to require this of a 14 year old girl is unreasonable.  Trad parents recognise this. They look the other way. So long as their daughters wear trad clothes to Mass, they let them dress in jeans and shorts the rest of the week.  Most of the parents do the same.  At least one other CI member, holysoulsacademy, who also lives in the NY metro area, agrees with me.  She has a large family and is a homeschooler.  Their family blends in with their multiethnic neighbors.  

I'm in the urban/suburbs right now, its a multi ethnic one.  Folks tend to keep to themselves.  Being Traditional is just another subculture, pretty much.  I'm really attracted to rural areas though, but all the up right people are Evangelicals.  I wouldn't want my children to gravitate to those people.  There is a strong Catholic culture where I live, but its N.O. tempered with less corrupt immigrants who still know what genuine Catholicism is.  It's too bad there isn't a nice corner of the world that was predominately Trad Catholic.