I think that everyone's given up.
I suppose the only thing to do now is to escape the exploding space ship in a lifepod and wait for the oxygen to run out.
I wouldn't call this despair. God will win, ultimately. But objectively speaking, I have my doubts that I'll live to see it in this life. In the meantime, I expect to behold nothing but reckless, needless destruction until the end of my days.
My escape pod ran out of oxygen. Eastern Catholicism. There are none in my area now.
I find myself more and more at an Eastern Orthodox Divine Liturgy. My soul is not accosted by people upturning a palm to receive Him at communion. There are no girl altar boys. They are chanting prayers before the Liturgy begins, and during. There is no hand holding during the Our Father. There are no drums or guitars.
Yes, there is no communion for me, but neither is there at a NO parish. I am too anguished to receive. Are there any holy priests left? We are but pilgrims in a land barren, God help us, Lord, have mercy on us.