>In General...
>1. Never take a beer to an interview.
>2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
>3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
>4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
>5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral..
>
>Dining Out...
>1. When decanting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.
>2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands.
>
>Entertaining in your home...
>1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
>2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.
>
>Personal Hygiene...
>1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in private using one's own truck keys.
>2 Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
>3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
>4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's Jєωelry, and alter the taste of finger foods.
>
>Theater Etiquette...
>1.. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
>2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen.. Tests have proven that they can't hear you.
>
>Weddings...
>1. Livestock, usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
>2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.
>3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cuмmerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
>4 Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
>
>Driving Etiquette...
>1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
>2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
>3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
>4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
>5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession.


PS I can put this in here because I'm a red neck. And with my grandchildren, vacuuming the bed IS an option.  
 :dancing-banana: