No, CM, yours don't cut the mustard. I'm sorry!
There is something uniquely creepy about Alex's smileys and the startling way he uses them. They seem to burst out of the screen at you, like they're trying to eat your soul. I don't know how he does it.
Dinosaurs are always "scary" but smileys are not supposed to be. Maybe that's the secret. The way that smiley up there is gyrating is too fast and nervous; the expression on its face too sinister. It looks hateful and obscene. I hate you, smiley.