Author Topic: An Ideal Wedding (Read 830 times)

AMDGJMJ · « **on:** July 04, 2015, 06:45:24 AM »

I have a dreadful fear of attending weddings.

I believe that this is mostly due to the fact that most of the weddings I have been to were typical modern ones.

It is not that I think a wedding should be old-fashioned per say, but I certainly think that they can and perhaps should be different what is now considered the norm.

Usually an exorbitant amount of time, effort, and money is put into the preparations.

The music played during the ceremony is quite worldly; and that which is at the reception is often crude and sometimes even improper.

The outfits are generally immodest in at least one way or another, etc. etc. etc…

At first I thought that my apathy for typical modern weddings was my just my being unsympathetic with those around me and that I needed to try and put more effort into being happy with what everyone else seems to be delighted with.

Yet, over time I have come to realize that the primary reason why I don’t like going to weddings, is because the highlight of the day is usually focused more on “feeling good” and “having a good time” than reflecting on God’s laws, serving Him properly, and taking the vows of Holy Matrimony seriously.

I don’t think that it is wrong to have a celebration, nor that it is wrong to prepare for it accordingly. Yet when the arrangements and party afterwards replace the importance of this holy Sacrament; then it is certainly time to step back and consider what is going on.

Most people tend to think only of themselves when they get married. God is there for the first part of their marriage and then He is thrown out of the window. This often all begins when they forget Him as they leave the church and head out for the party afterwards.

How many of people who have such weddings would not be horrified if Our Blessed Lord actually appeared as a guest at their reception?

Yet, many people hardly think of any of this until their wedding is long past.

So, for those who are not married, and are considering it, I have put together a list of questions which I believe are the key factors in helping a True Catholic wedding and the reception following to be what they ought to be:

1-What would we do if Our Lord was the primary guest of honor at our wedding and reception?

2-How would we act?

3-How would we dress?

4-What sort of music would we play?

5-What would our primary sources of entertainment consist of?

For those getting married in the near future, let them ask themselves these questions before they decide on the details of their wedding and reception to follow. Also let them pray to God to help them do what He would wish, and then do their best to do what they think would please Him.

This will make a couple much more certain of having a blessed wedding and a happy lasting marriage in their life to follow. And who would not everyone want that for themselves, their children and their friends?

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http://whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/

Matthew · « **Reply #1 on:** July 04, 2015, 08:20:48 AM »

Yes, there is nothing inherently bad in having a wedding celebration. It can be done with Catholic decorum and taste.

On the one hand, Catholics need to focus on the marriage itself and the life in common that awaits them. So spending excess money on a 1-day event is foolish. You have to worry about getting a house (and as paid-off as possible!) as well as all the stuff that goes in it. Plus a car, and some savings to help support the children that usually come along soon after. That's Catholic culture and common sense.

On the other hand, you only get to marry once, with a few tragic exceptions. So it's also Catholic culture to celebrate such a momentous occasion. Spending a bunch of time organizing, etc. just tells all persons involved that "marriage is important". It suggests that the marriage should be valued and treasured at all costs -- even when things get difficult.

In our case, we didn't spent anything except on our honeymoon, which was a short car trip. All the reception expenses were covered by the father of the bride. And no, we didn't have the choice to get a check instead.

Anyhow, I'd say that our wedding reception was Catholic and dignified. We didn't play any bad music, and we didn't do the garter toss. We played some music in the background -- country songs about love and so forth. (This was in Texas, remember.) We had full control over the music, since we just played custom CDs of our favorite songs.

Here is a pic from our wedding -- the other two are Fr. Timothy Pfeiffer, and my niece the flower girl. To think that she is my little sister's oldest child-- makes me feel like I married late! I guess guys always marry later than girls. Another tidbit: the wedding Mass was my niece's First Communion, by accident. Because of a miscommunication, she received First Communion even though she was just a month away from doing so back home in Illinois. At least she was basically ready...and wearing white!

The other pic is of the reception.

The bride's wedding dress was bought used for $100. We had to buy some accessories for it to make it more modest, which we did online. It was a Mormon company -- go figure. They talked about "temple-ready dresses". It's a shame that Catholics (as a whole) no longer have a reputation for modesty, or consider our churches sacred enough that you dare not enter unless you're modestly dressed.

Marlelar · « **Reply #2 on:** July 04, 2015, 01:04:43 PM »

I guess I'm lucky, I've never been to any weddings where I would have been ashamed to have Our Lord or Our Lady walk through the door. I've seen videos and pictures of some "wild" weddings but not experienced it first hand.

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #3 on:** July 05, 2015, 09:38:43 AM »

Quote from: Matthew

Yes, there is nothing inherently bad in having a wedding celebration. It can be done with Catholic decorum and taste.

On the one hand, Catholics need to focus on the marriage itself and the life in common that awaits them. So spending excess money on a 1-day event is foolish. You have to worry about getting a house (and as paid-off as possible!) as well as all the stuff that goes in it. Plus a car, and some savings to help support the children that usually come along soon after. That's Catholic culture and common sense.

On the other hand, you only get to marry once, with a few tragic exceptions. So it's also Catholic culture to celebrate such a momentous occasion. Spending a bunch of time organizing, etc. just tells all persons involved that "marriage is important". It suggests that the marriage should be valued and treasured at all costs -- even when things get difficult.

In our case, we didn't spent anything except on our honeymoon, which was a short car trip. All the reception expenses were covered by the father of the bride. And no, we didn't have the choice to get a check instead.

Anyhow, I'd say that our wedding reception was Catholic and dignified. We didn't play any bad music, and we didn't do the garter toss. We played some music in the background -- country songs about love and so forth. (This was in Texas, remember.) We had full control over the music, since we just played custom CDs of our favorite songs.

Here is a pic from our wedding -- the other two are Fr. Timothy Pfeiffer, and my niece the flower girl. To think that she is my little sister's oldest child-- makes me feel like I married late! I guess guys always marry later than girls. Another tidbit: the wedding Mass was my niece's First Communion, by accident. Because of a miscommunication, she received First Communion even though she was just a month away from doing so back home in Illinois. At least she was basically ready...and wearing white!

The other pic is of the reception.

The bride's wedding dress was bought used for $100. We had to buy some accessories for it to make it more modest, which we did online. It was a Mormon company -- go figure. They talked about "temple-ready dresses". It's a shame that Catholics (as a whole) no longer have a reputation for modesty, or consider our churches sacred enough that you dare not enter unless you're modestly dressed.

Thanks for sharing this, Matthew! I am glad that you and your wife had such a lovely wedding!

I have yet to attend a fully non-indult traditional Catholic wedding. So, maybe it will be a completely good one like yours was when I do! :-)

jen51 · « **Reply #4 on:** July 05, 2015, 06:27:51 PM »

I got married about 11 months ago, and it was a traditional wedding- or at least we tried our best to make it so.

The music we chose during the wedding Mass was chosen with care and thought- traditional music according to the old customs of the church. We had a High Mass.
THERE WAS NO KISS THE BRIDE!!! That's just a bunch of Hollywood nonsense. No garder toss either, or any other crude new "traditions".
I chose an affordable wedding dress and made some alterations for it to be more modest. Same with the bridesmaids dresses.
We had a short, very laid back reception where there was cake and punch and other refreshments. A dinner would have been nice, but our budget wouldn't allow it. The groomsmen and maid of honor gave toasts, and whoever else wanted to give toasts. Everyone had a glass of champagne. As far as entertainment, there really wasn't any, other than a slide show playing in the background of pictures. People entertained themselves with lively discussion and happy company. My husband and I tried to visit with every guest there.
We prayed from the beginning of our planning that our wedding would be a sort of "evangelization" to everyone there- that they would see the beauty of a traditional wedding, and understand the sacredness of matrimony through it. Many non-catholics who attended the wedding expressed to us that their experience was what we had been praying for. We managed to have a very Catholic wedding, with only about 20 out of our 300 guests being Catholic. Neither of our families are Catholic, I am convert of 3 years, and my husband is a revert of 6 years- so most of our friends were Protestant as well.

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #5 on:** July 06, 2015, 02:20:03 PM »

Quote from: jen51

I got married about 11 months ago, and it was a traditional wedding- or at least we tried our best to make it so.

The music we chose during the wedding Mass was chosen with care and thought- traditional music according to the old customs of the church. We had a High Mass.
THERE WAS NO KISS THE BRIDE!!! That's just a bunch of Hollywood nonsense. No garder toss either, or any other crude new "traditions".
I chose an affordable wedding dress and made some alterations for it to be more modest. Same with the bridesmaids dresses.
We had a short, very laid back reception where there was cake and punch and other refreshments. A dinner would have been nice, but our budget wouldn't allow it. The groomsmen and maid of honor gave toasts, and whoever else wanted to give toasts. Everyone had a glass of champagne. As far as entertainment, there really wasn't any, other than a slide show playing in the background of pictures. People entertained themselves with lively discussion and happy company. My husband and I tried to visit with every guest there.
We prayed from the beginning of our planning that our wedding would be a sort of "evangelization" to everyone there- that they would see the beauty of a traditional wedding, and understand the sacredness of matrimony through it. Many non-catholics who attended the wedding expressed to us that their experience was what we had been praying for. We managed to have a very Catholic wedding, with only about 20 out of our 300 guests being Catholic. Neither of our families are Catholic, I am convert of 3 years, and my husband is a revert of 6 years- so most of our friends were Protestant as well.

Beautiful!!! This is the sort of wedding I would like to see one day... :-)