Author Topic: Amon and mens love of the unacheivable  (Read 589 times)

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Offline spouse of Jesus

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Amon and mens love of the unacheivable
« on: August 12, 2012, 10:38:51 PM »
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  •   I read the story of Amon and Tamar. It is sad though not unfamiliar for me. I have heard about many cases of man's love suddenly turning to disgust and loathing. My grandma told me about a boy who was in love and begged his parents to ask the girl's father to let them meet. The father gave his permission. then the boy expressed his feelings:"I love you." and the girl answered with a "me too." but then the boy loathed her and left because he was offended by her boldness.
      Amon loved Tamar as long as she was inaccessible, but as soon as he had access to her he hated her. It is one of many cases in which a man falls in love with the unachievable.
      In my culture it is a strong belief that males naturally desire to achieve, so a woman has to be unachievable if she wants to attract a man. It is not just limited to certain types of relationships, it includes marriage, bf gf relations, engagements etc. to the point that even the most infamous women who do everything for money make a show of "being hard to get" as an attraction tactic. (sorry for being graphic). that's why many of them wear long black veils.
      Sometimes it happens that even a married lady is advised by her elders to withhold her emotions and play cold and hard to get for her husband if she doesn't want to be discarded like a cheap thing. because the whole value of precious things lies in their scarcity. because diamond would not be a precious stone if it was not hard to find.
      It is why we are surprised when we see westerners being with their girlfriends for years. Because in our Countries a woman who submits to a man loses all her respect in his mind and is thrown away like an object of no value.
      Is it really the man's nature or just culture?

    Offline Telesphorus

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    Amon and mens love of the unacheivable
    « Reply #1 on: August 12, 2012, 11:16:39 PM »
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  • With respect to men having long term girlfriends without marriage.  Yes, I find it puzzling too, but most of these men are simply following society and women on their terms.  And marriage confers very few rights on men in western society.  On the contrary, once a man is married his "girlfriend" has much more power over him and is likely to be less anxious to please him.

    In modern society it is considered "normal" for young women to not maintain a reputation of virginity before marriage, (even so-called Catholic, even "trad" women become extremely indignant at the idea that they should be expected to maintain such a reputation and that it be a true reputation) and because it is considered socially important for women to have long term boyfriends, (and for men too, to be accepted in worldly upper middle class "society") - many men have long term girlfriends.  Also, the women typically use birth control, so this is another factor that enables them to have several long term boyfriends in succession as though it were normal without bringing children into the picture.

    I think it's a relatively small section of men who will despise their conquests and move on to the next heartlessly.  However, that small section of men tend to be the ones most successful with women.  Being like a king's son - and having so many women willing to throw themselves at them, must breed in them a feeling of contempt for women.


    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Amon and mens love of the unacheivable
    « Reply #2 on: August 20, 2012, 05:05:14 PM »
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  • Quote from: spouse of Jesus
     I read the story of Amon and Tamar. It is sad though not unfamiliar for me. I have heard about many cases of man's love suddenly turning to disgust and loathing.


    Maybe it is just lust and not love.  Some men (and I suppose women) seem to be in love only with thrills and competition.  Lust is simply a byproduct of this "love of the chase" and is cleverly disguised as love through a manipulative form of flattery.

    Yes, these overly narcissistic types are rare, but they do exist. I guess the most charitable thing to assume is that they suffer as some sort of sociopath and can't feel compassion and empathy like other human beings.  

    How else can you can explain infatuation to the point of obsession followed by heartless dismissal and silence?  I don't want to believe people are just naturally cruel. I would rather believe they have some disorder that makes them cold and remorseful.  

    Then if one these types has a child with someone, they don't care about the child either.  They become so resentful, their contempt for the woman somehow now extends to their own flesh and blood.  

    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25

     

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