Author Topic: Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?  (Read 2297 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline gobosox91

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 89
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
« on: March 22, 2014, 04:42:31 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • So, two years ago, I was exposed to the world of doctrinal and dogmatic Christianity, which was different from trying to determine the existence of God through philosophy. Now I was convinced there was a God, and suddenly I care when I hear fundamentalists say that I'm an idolater, and that I'm in the whore of Babylon. I have OCD, too, so this was the tipping point of my obsessive nature. I kept hearing John MacArthur say that Catholicism is the kingdom of satan. I eventually confused myself into thinking the devil was greater than God, and I convinced myself I blasphemed the Holy Spirit, and in my despair, I felt this presence inside me that seemed like it was pulling me towards the devil. Every time I saw satanic things on the internet, I would get excited, and I would catch myself calling him Lord. I kept thinking of Jesus, but I'd suddenly change Him into the devil in my thought process, and the devil thought seemed to draw me towards satan, and I couldn't shake it.

    I eventually despaired so much that I agreed to sell my soul for the return of my heterosexuality, which was another story rooted in perpetual OCD doubting, and self bullying, and after this deal, I'm suddenly finding girls to be attractive again.

    But soon, I regretted my deal with the devil, and I've been turning to God, asking Him to forgive me and make this all go away. I've done everything I can. I pray the rosary, but I have temptations to pray to the devil for things, because even though I know that I will go to Hell if I do so, it is hard for me to shake it off. It's like Frodo and the Ring in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series. I try so hard, but I doubt that God will answer.

    Could God be angry with me and is He sending this as a form of chastisement? Why is He letting the devil take control of me?

    Offline Cantarella

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 7782
    • Reputation: +4568/-575
    • Gender: Female
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #1 on: March 22, 2014, 04:49:29 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Have you made a general confession? You must do that in order to wash the stain of blasphemy from your soul. God will forgive you.

    Do not doubt the power of Our Lord, and specially Our Lady, in dealing with Satan. She undoubtly crushes his head. Pray fervently the Holy Rosary and consecrate yourself entirely to her.   There is no demon that does not fear and flee from Mary. Have confidence in that you can do all things in Christ who strengths you. Satan feeds on your fear.  
    If anyone says that true and natural water is not necessary for baptism and thus twists into some metaphor the words of our Lord Jesus Christ" Unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Spirit" (Jn 3:5) let him be anathema.


    Offline Nadir

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 6070
    • Reputation: +3325/-196
    • Gender: Female
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #2 on: March 22, 2014, 04:49:34 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • God is not angry with you if you pray the Rosary.

    Keep praying the Rosary and talk to a traditional Catholic priest.

    God does not test you beyond your powers.

    Are you going to Holy Mass?

    Have you been baptised?

    Do you go to the Sacrament of Penance?

    Pray the Rosary.

    When you are tempted make the Sign of the Cross, thereby invoking the Blessed Trinity.

    Offline gobosox91

    • Newbie
    • *
    • Posts: 89
    • Reputation: +11/-0
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #3 on: March 22, 2014, 05:05:25 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I wish I could do that, but I keep thinking that I'm putting the mark of the beast on my forehead, according to fundamentalists (blessing with right hand, too). And I'll change Father, Son, and Holy Spirit into satanic equivalents. I can't escape from this mindset

    Offline Matto

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 5678
    • Reputation: +3097/-145
    • Gender: Male
    • Love God and Play, Do Good Work and Pray
      • Julian Moore
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #4 on: March 22, 2014, 05:10:10 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Whatever you do, don't stop praying the rosary and don't listen to protestants.
    I Love Watching Butterflies . . ..


    Offline Zeitun

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 1601
    • Reputation: +971/-14
    • Gender: Female
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #5 on: March 22, 2014, 05:17:20 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Quote from: gobosox91
    So, two years ago, I was exposed to the world of doctrinal and dogmatic Christianity, which was different from trying to determine the existence of God through philosophy. Now I was convinced there was a God, and suddenly I care when I hear fundamentalists say that I'm an idolater, and that I'm in the whore of Babylon. I have OCD, too, so this was the tipping point of my obsessive nature. I kept hearing John MacArthur say that Catholicism is the kingdom of satan. I eventually confused myself into thinking the devil was greater than God, and I convinced myself I blasphemed the Holy Spirit, and in my despair, I felt this presence inside me that seemed like it was pulling me towards the devil. Every time I saw satanic things on the internet, I would get excited, and I would catch myself calling him Lord. I kept thinking of Jesus, but I'd suddenly change Him into the devil in my thought process, and the devil thought seemed to draw me towards satan, and I couldn't shake it.

    I eventually despaired so much that I agreed to sell my soul for the return of my heterosexuality, which was another story rooted in perpetual OCD doubting, and self bullying, and after this deal, I'm suddenly finding girls to be attractive again.

    But soon, I regretted my deal with the devil, and I've been turning to God, asking Him to forgive me and make this all go away. I've done everything I can. I pray the rosary, but I have temptations to pray to the devil for things, because even though I know that I will go to Hell if I do so, it is hard for me to shake it off. It's like Frodo and the Ring in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series. I try so hard, but I doubt that God will answer.

    Could God be angry with me and is He sending this as a form of chastisement? Why is He letting the devil take control of me?


    Satan will not keep any "promises" he makes to you and not only will your homosexuality return but you will have worse attractions than before.  

    Making a deal with Satan requires more than confession--you will not be able to fight this on your own.  Get to a traditional priest IMMEDIATELY because you are in a dangerous situation and cannot allow yourself to become depressed.  

    If you don't know a traditional priest please PM me for a phone number of one you can call.

    Offline Matthew

    • Mod
    • *****
    • Posts: 23065
    • Reputation: +20233/-244
    • Gender: Male
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #6 on: March 22, 2014, 05:25:20 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Quote from: gobosox91
    I wish I could do that, but I keep thinking that I'm putting the mark of the beast on my forehead, according to fundamentalists (blessing with right hand, too). And I'll change Father, Son, and Holy Spirit into satanic equivalents. I can't escape from this mindset


    You do have to start by accepting Catholicism as the truth.

    If you're still giving protestant heretics any heed, you're not there yet.

    I'll tell you, though, that only Catholic priests have any power over the devil. Protestant ministers are the devil's toys.

    If you don't want to be horribly miserable both on earth and throughout eternity, embrace the Catholic Faith wholeheartedly and do your utmost to leave behind BOTH satanism and protestantism.

    Only the Catholic Faith can save you.
    Start your Amazon.com session by clicking this link, and my family and I get a commission on your purchase!

    Offline Ladislaus

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 18300
    • Reputation: +10161/-4815
    • Gender: Male
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #7 on: March 22, 2014, 05:29:45 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • As Matthew said, embrace the Holy Catholic Faith.

    And Our Lord is greater than any "deal" you may have made with the devil.  He redeemed all souls from slavery to the devil, so by returning to Him he can release you from whatever pact you may have made.  There's no need to despair.


    Offline shin

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 1489
    • Reputation: +753/-3
    • Gender: Male
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #8 on: March 22, 2014, 05:40:23 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Well, you have an obsessive compulsive tendency, and this combined with temptations to blasphemy, it is troublesome yes.

    The devils torment many people with blasphemy. They also tempt to fixations. Fixation and blasphemy together is tough. Basically they speak blasphemies to people mentally, and so people think these things are from themselves, but they are from the devils.

    And they try to trigger blasphemous thoughts in the mind of the speaker, since you are obsessive compulsive the triggers of your imagination for these things are very easily pushed by them. It is like hmm, a song that catches in your head you cannot get rid of, they can try to trigger these things, to lead you along.

    FWIW. Now a person who is more average and self aware/controlled when presented with these things will more rarely get carried away and give into even thinking the thought through, I think. But the obsessive compulsive type gets carried away with every thought that appears in the mind.

    Perhaps it would help if you contacted a priest dedicated to mental health? There are some in this field. Perhaps through the website Sensus Traditionis, you might be able to find a reference or might be able to get some tips through email.

    Generally speaking, if you are having trouble with the demons interfering with your thinking processes, and are having trouble on your own even without their interference, you want to avoid situations that unsettled your state of mind and make it more OCD prone. But avoiding this in a good virtuous way. I can say that computer use, TV use, put the mind in a passive receptive state that is more vulnerable to outside suggestion of all kinds, including demonic, so if you are using computer too much this will make things worse for you, it is not a source of peace.

    Also, sin is punished with sin, so if you are watching shows that have blasphemies there is a certain justice in being punished for this, so you must not sin in this way. Give up TV if you watch it. And of course must avoid sin in general, instead living more virtuously.

    Make a good confession. Learn to make good acts of contrition immediately after sins, and acts of love of God after this to repair. Saying prayers like this both repairs for sins and makes further spiritual progress.

    Not all blasphemy that comes into the mind is a matter of guilt for the person. When the demons are the ones causing it, it is they who are the guilty ones, though we hear it -- we are not the cause of it.

    The devil fishes in disturbed waters. Learn to think of Christ and His peace and work towards having a more peaceful mind. Get some blessed St. Benedict medals which the demons can't stand, and say holy prayers with the Holy Names aloud with true devotion to drive them away. Live a pure life and do not think of impure desires.

    FWLIW I hope something in this is relevant and helpful to you!

    I will try to give a little more info in next post too.
    Sincerely,

    Shin

    'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus.' (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)'-

    Offline Nadir

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 6070
    • Reputation: +3325/-196
    • Gender: Female
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #9 on: March 22, 2014, 05:48:20 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • 1 Corinthians 10: 13

    Quote
    Let no temptation take hold on you, but such as is human. And God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able: but will make also with temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it. (DR)

    No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (NIV)

    Offline shin

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 1489
    • Reputation: +753/-3
    • Gender: Male
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #10 on: March 22, 2014, 05:51:37 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • A good confession of course requires the Faith!

    Here is from the desert:

    A brother was beset by thoughts of blasphemy and was ashamed to reveal them to anyone. Wherever he heard them there were great Elders, he visited them to disclose the thoughts to them, but, being too ashamed to confess them, always returned empty-handed. He frequently visited Abba Poiemn, and towards him he acted likewise, out of shame, without confessing anything.

    Abba Poimen realized that the brother had such thoughts and was distressed and would not confess them. One day, therefore, as he was escorting him on his way, he said: "Look brother, you have been coming here for so long to reveal the thoughts yo have, yet when you come, you are reluctant to confess them, and each time you leave in sorrow, since you keep them to yourself. So tell me, what is it that bothers you?" The brother replied to him: "The Devil wars against me to make me blaspheme against God, and I have been ashamed to say so, but now I am telling you." As soon as he related the thought to the Elder, he felt relief.

    ...

    The Elder said to him: "Do not be upset, my child, but when this thought comes to you, say: "I am not responsible for this thought. May your blasphemy be upon you, Satan. My soul has no desire for this." Whatever the soul does not want, lasts but a short time.' And the brother, went away healed.

    A brother once asked one of the Fathers about the thought of blasphemy saying, "Abba, my soul is troubled by the demon of blasphemy. Have pity on me and tell me how this has happened to me and what I should do about it."

    The Elder answered: "This kind of thought occurs to use because we malign, disparage, and condemn other people; or, otherwise it comes from pride, from following one's own will, from neglecting prayer, and from irritation and anger, all of which are signs of pride. For pride leads us into the aforementioned passions, from which the thought of blasphemy is engendered. If this thought lingers in one's soul, the demon of blasphemy hands one over to the demon of fornication. Oftentimes the thought of blasphemy drives a man out of his mind, and unless he comes to his senses, he will fall into perdition."

    ...

    Question

    How is it that the soul of a man frequently inwardly utters certain shameful, unclean, and foul words and entertains similar thoughts, involuntarily and unintentionally?

    Oftentimes the soul also utters ungodly and blasphemous words against God. . . Others have even contemplated suicide. . .

    Answer

    Thoughts of this kind occur to many people as a result of pride. . .

    Still others, who are devout and God-loving, are vexed by blasphemous thoughts because the demons envy them; for this reason, even certain holy and virtuous ascetics living in the desert fall into such thoughts. . .

    The most irksome aspect of this warfare is that no one who is being tried by it dares at all to confess these thoughts to a fellow human being, reckoning that no one else in the world has such abominable thoughts.

    . . .

    Well there is too much to type at this point, but the above advice -- turn it back on the devil, live a virtuous and prayerful life, and go to confession this is what follows largely..
    Sincerely,

    Shin

    'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus.' (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)'-


    Offline Matthew

    • Mod
    • *****
    • Posts: 23065
    • Reputation: +20233/-244
    • Gender: Male
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #11 on: March 22, 2014, 06:17:42 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Quote from: Nadir
    1 Corinthians 10: 13

    Quote from: Sacred Scripture
    Let no temptation take hold on you, but such as is human. And God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able: but will make also with temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it. (DR)


    Quote from: Some clown's interpretation of Sacred Scripture
    No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (NIV)



    Fixed it for ya.
    Start your Amazon.com session by clicking this link, and my family and I get a commission on your purchase!

    Offline InfiniteFaith

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 1590
    • Reputation: +166/-2
    • Gender: Male
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #12 on: March 22, 2014, 08:05:12 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Quote from: gobosox91
    I wish I could do that, but I keep thinking that I'm putting the mark of the beast on my forehead, according to fundamentalists (blessing with right hand, too). And I'll change Father, Son, and Holy Spirit into satanic equivalents. I can't escape from this mindset


    Common sense tells me that the Catholic Church is not the Whore of Babylon. If you look into the book of revelations it mentions that the whore of babylon is a city. The Catholic Church is not a city....its a Church. Some protestants like to point out that Rome may very well be the Whore of Babylon because it rests on seven hills. There are a few cities throughout the world that rest on seven hills. Jerusalem being one other example.

    Also, The New Testament mentions a wilderness that is associated with the Whore of Babylon. The word "wilderness" in Greek has many different translations. It can also mean "desert". I would be willing to bet that the Whore of Babylon is a city in the desert (Middle East) as opposed to a wilderness (more like Rome). The reason I say this is that the ancient Babylonian empire (Iraq) and the city Babylon (a city in Iraq) are both in the desert. Thus, I think its more likely that the Whore of BABYLON will be a city in the desert. And there certainly are not any deserts in Rome.

    Keep in mind that your soul is sort of like a Radio transmitter. When you are in a state of grace you are tuned into the God channel. When you fall from that state of grace you are tuned into the devil's channel. When tuned into the devil's channel there are all kinds of demented thoughts running through your head. It doesn't surprise me that you have thoughts like that of which are in your OP. You need to make sure you are in a state of grace. Once you are in a state of grace you should pray the rosary. And keep pushing those sinful thoughts out of your head. The more you keep doing that the more you notice God and you sense His grace more.

    Offline MariaCatherine

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 1061
    • Reputation: +353/-9
    • Gender: Female
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #13 on: March 22, 2014, 08:50:03 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Praying audibly whenever possible, and with the lips at all other times, is a good habit.
    What return shall I make to the Lord for all the things that He hath given unto me?

    Offline MariaCatherine

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 1061
    • Reputation: +353/-9
    • Gender: Female
    Am I possessed? or under attack from the devil?
    « Reply #14 on: March 22, 2014, 09:11:18 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I hope you'll go to a priest, if you haven't already.
    What return shall I make to the Lord for all the things that He hath given unto me?

     

    Sitemap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16