Author Topic: Am I a Terrible Person Because I Dont Volunteer? (Read 1304 times)

MrsZ · « **on:** October 23, 2012, 01:13:01 PM »

Recap: We live in a small town (pop. 3000) and only have novus ordo parishes in our vicinity. Closest FSSP is 290 miles away. I have observed that the volunteer opportunities at our parish seem to consist of joining a couple of groups (St. Vincent DePaul and the Altar Society) and going to monthly meetings to discuss the latest fundraising plans. Then the fundraiser is held, staffed by the volunteers .... it is typically a luncheon or dinner ... and the money raised (after expenses) is then given to one or the other group.

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to be apart of a club and having to socialize and talk to the folks who make up our parish. I know that sounds bad. But I have written before about the people here .. and I have nothing in common with any of them. We're not liberal, we don't work for the school system (or are retired teachers, social workers...), we didn't send our kids to public school or an expensive distant university. We didn't vote for Obama. We don't have a higher than average income. I don't hold a paying job outside the home. We don't have college degrees. We don't take vacations. We are unable to fix or replace things around our house. I drive a 13 year old "big" SUV .. not an economical little "green" car.

But I feel guilty for not participating. That they know I'm not part of their groups. That I"m not "earning my keep."

We donate money to the church, I have given food, blankets and coats to St. Vincent de Paul over the years.

But that isn't enough is it? It has to be something public and social for it to count, doesn't it?

And ... I would only want to be in the background of any type of volunteering. I'm just not a people person and can't take chit chatting! How do I help without having to be involved in the way it's set up?

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #1 on:** October 23, 2012, 02:02:12 PM »

Don't let any of that stuff get under your skin.

Have you considered making financial donations to any particular traditionalist convent or monastery? You could also make small financial donations to specific traditionalist churches.

Sigismund · « **Reply #2 on:** October 23, 2012, 07:58:03 PM »

If you want to volunteer somewhere but stay in the background, how about preparing food at a soup kitchen or stuffing envelopes for a pro-life group?

If all volunteers in your parish do is hold fundraisers to give to groups who then hold more fundraisers, I can't imagine why you would want to be part of that. Do they ever actually do anything worthwhile with the money they raise?

Tiffany · « **Reply #3 on:** October 23, 2012, 08:26:29 PM »

Quote from: Sigismund

If you want to volunteer somewhere but stay in the background, how about preparing food at a soup kitchen or stuffing envelopes for a pro-life group?

If all volunteers in your parish do is hold fundraisers to give to groups who then hold more fundraisers, I can't imagine why you would want to be part of that. Do they ever actually do anything worthwhile with the money they raise?

I've been helped before by St Vincent De Paul Society. I know several others who have been helped too. I think many of the charities out their are basically a scam - they do a little but not what they present to be and much of it is just providing jobs for people that work there.
I know St Vincent De Paul Society does help though and is not like that. Catholic Charities seems to be government funded/more bureaucratic/has layers of paid administration/very difficult to get help but SVDPS seems like it's run by all volunteers and the money goes to helping people. They have thrift stores too. I've not seen the books of one, just my view from an outsider.

songbird · « **Reply #4 on:** October 23, 2012, 08:30:57 PM »

It should ease your mind not to participate even with St. Vincent De Paul, because they are with the federal government and they must give phone numbers of the state to refer for abortion. Very True! I highly suggest no making of bucks, no fundraisers. For every $1 the New Order will give to the feds to get $3 back. Money is not the issue. In fact, when Vincent De Paul did his work on earth, the organization went door to door making sure that those who resided were getting the sacraments. His goal! It was not his goal to feed the body, it was the soul first. So, it is better to keep your Sundays Holy away from this group. And give to traditional that you know for sure and give for a particular purpose. Or for your cause. Save money to fly to a traditional church for confession and such. Have masses said for you and others like you.

Tiffany · « **Reply #5 on:** October 23, 2012, 08:43:39 PM »

Do you do any crafts?

Can you offer to be on the clean up crew for the lunch once in a while?

Sigismund · « **Reply #6 on:** October 23, 2012, 08:54:46 PM »

Quote from: songbird

It should ease your mind not to participate even with St. Vincent De Paul, because they are with the federal government and they must give phone numbers of the state to refer for abortion. Very True! I highly suggest no making of bucks, no fundraisers. For every $1 the New Order will give to the feds to get $3 back. Money is not the issue. In fact, when Vincent De Paul did his work on earth, the organization went door to door making sure that those who resided were getting the sacraments. His goal! It was not his goal to feed the body, it was the soul first. So, it is better to keep your Sundays Holy away from this group. And give to traditional that you know for sure and give for a particular purpose. Or for your cause. Save money to fly to a traditional church for confession and such. Have masses said for you and others like you.

I am sorry, but that is simply nonsense. I have been a member of the St. Vincent de Paul Society for my entire adult life. Some groups are more active and effective than others, but none of them have been government shills or referred ANYONE for an abortion. Nor were we ever asked to do so. This is simply calumny.

Nadir · « **Reply #7 on:** October 23, 2012, 09:03:26 PM »

Mrs Z, you sound a bit like me, and I am in a similar situation as far as church goes. When we arrived here 5 years ago, I went into the church because is was open, and on a Wednesday. It turned out that they opened the church at that time every week for ladies to gather to say the Rosary. My husband and I joined in their Rosary from one of the pews, while all the ladies sat around in the sanctuary with their backs to the tabernacle. I felt so "out of place" though it really was them out of place. I have never been back. Oh except once, because I knew the priest was validly ordained and I thought I'd give it another go. But the priest announced that there may not be a Mass on Christmas Day because nobody had yet volunteered to do the readings of the Mass. That went down real well!!!

We ladies are feeling creatures, but don't let your feelings get the better of you.

Let's face it: you don't belong there.
If you really desire to do volunteer work, and you have spare time after all your duties as wife and mother, I am sure that there must be a non-church agency which could point you towards some community based work like transporting aged persons for doctors' appointments, phoning a lonely aged person each day to check they are OK etc. etc. You could do some craft from home for fundraising for a legit Catholic charity? The list is never ending....

Quote

I would only want to be in the background of any type of volunteering. I'm just not a people person and can't take chit chatting! How do I help without having to be involved in the way it's set up?

That means you don't want to have to put on a false front. I don't believe that you can "help without having to be involved in the way it's set up". You would be be compromising your conscience, I sense. You'd be better off out of that environment.

Nadir · « **Reply #8 on:** October 23, 2012, 09:39:23 PM »

Quote from: songbird

It should ease your mind not to participate even with St. Vincent De Paul, because they are with the federal government and they must give phone numbers of the state to refer for abortion. Very True! I highly suggest no making of bucks, no fundraisers. For every $1 the New Order will give to the feds to get $3 back. Money is not the issue. In fact, when Vincent De Paul did his work on earth, the organization went door to door making sure that those who resided were getting the sacraments. His goal! It was not his goal to feed the body, it was the soul first. So, it is better to keep your Sundays Holy away from this group. And give to traditional that you know for sure and give for a particular purpose. Or for your cause. Save money to fly to a traditional church for confession and such. Have masses said for you and others like you.

I wouldn't be concerned about boycotting Vinnies, as it is now officially known here. It is no longer Catholic, in the sense that any person with or without any religion can work for them. They steer clear of helping pregnancy help organisations, maybe they do not like to be tarred with the anti-choice brush. This is my experience.

I was at one of their training days and the guru who was attempted, pretty successfully, to brainwash the members, openly ridiculed Catholic devotions, like the wearing of the Brown Scapular. Nobody, except me, protested at his repugnant behaviour, though a nun patted me on the back later when I was in the wash room. You can be sure that the guru was being paid big bucks for his work.

There are many good people in the SVdeP but if Blessed Frederick Ozaman was to come back, I doubt he would recognise it, and St Vincent would not he happy to see his good name besmirched. Maybe it's just as well they're Vinnies now.

Nadir · « **Reply #9 on:** October 23, 2012, 09:57:37 PM »

Quote from: Sigismund

I am sorry, but that is simply nonsense. I have been a member of the St. Vincent de Paul Society for my entire adult life. Some groups are more active and effective than others, but none of them have been government shills or referred ANYONE for an abortion. Nor were we ever asked to do so. This is simply calumny.

Major Catholic Organizations (including SVdP) Push for Healthcare Overhaul Despite Abortion Mandate
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive//ldn/2009/jul/09072905

1st Mansion Tenant · « **Reply #10 on:** October 24, 2012, 12:08:12 AM »

Just a suggestion, but if you are able to sew or embroider, you could make altar linens or embroidered pieces for chasubles. Maybe some other kind of handicraft that could produce something for your parish? That way you could work alone, yet still contribute. Maybe gathering recipes for a parish cook-book to be sold as a fund-raiser? Helping to write for the bulletin or news letter? If you are just afraid that you seem like a moocher to the more wealthy folks, well, they probably have never even given it a thought.

Tiffany · « **Reply #11 on:** October 24, 2012, 04:04:35 AM »

Quote from: Nadir

Quote from: Sigismund
I am sorry, but that is simply nonsense. I have been a member of the St. Vincent de Paul Society for my entire adult life. Some groups are more active and effective than others, but none of them have been government shills or referred ANYONE for an abortion. Nor were we ever asked to do so. This is simply calumny.

Major Catholic Organizations (including SVdP) Push for Healthcare Overhaul Despite Abortion Mandate
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive//ldn/2009/jul/09072905

We already have federal funds going for abortion through medicaid and some states have state dollars paying for abortion too. They also already cover abortifacient drugs like birth control pills for women through medicaid/SCHIP.

There is a huge disconnect with conservatives and this healthcare bill. I've seen crowds of mostly elderly people @ tea parties with signs about socialized medicine while 100% of them are on medicare. (Medicare is gov health care for the elderly.) Bush did the biggest expansion of "socialized" medicine with SCHIP and Medicare Part D, there were no protests.

Elizabeth · « **Reply #12 on:** October 24, 2012, 08:55:29 AM »

I would go drop off some home-made cookies , fried chicken or something to meetings as an act of kindness, without joining the fundraising. I say this because you are in a small town, and there may come a time when people need each other for survival. Or find an old person and bring her to the meetings.

I was just thinking that maybe God has you out in Siberia for a reason?

Nice to "see" you again, Mrs. Z. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: Hang in there. XXXOOO

Sigismund · « **Reply #13 on:** October 24, 2012, 06:41:10 PM »

Quote from: Nadir

Quote from: Sigismund
I am sorry, but that is simply nonsense. I have been a member of the St. Vincent de Paul Society for my entire adult life. Some groups are more active and effective than others, but none of them have been government shills or referred ANYONE for an abortion. Nor were we ever asked to do so. This is simply calumny.

Major Catholic Organizations (including SVdP) Push for Healthcare Overhaul Despite Abortion Mandate
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive//ldn/2009/jul/09072905

That is hardly the same as referring people for abortions, but it certainly isn't good. I am greatly saddened to see this, but thanks for educating me.