Author Topic: A First--- Robo Presbyter s  (Read 424 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Binechi

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2319
  • Reputation: +503/-40
  • Gender: Male
A First--- Robo Presbyter s
« on: July 08, 2017, 03:51:23 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Newchurch Rolls out Its Presbyter of the Future:
     Robo-presbyter Is Bisexual, Emits Blessings, and May Simulate a Novus Ordo Mess
    From: The TRADITIO Fathers
    A Desperate Newchurch, Which Cannot Attract Men
     To Its Newseminaries to Study for the Newpresbyterate
     Has Unveiled a Possible Solution: Robo-presbyter, aka BlessU-2
     The Robot Can Perform Blessings in a Bisexual Mode
     Plans Are Probably Already Underway in Newchurch
     To Develop Robo-Presbyter to Stimulate an Invalid Novus Ordo Mess
     As The Ranks Of The Newchurch Clergy Are Rapidly Dying Off
     With Only a Few Men Interested in Subjecting Themselves
     To The Sodomies and Heresies Going on in Newchurch Seminaries
    The Newchurch of the New Order, which is so despised that it can attract only a handful of men who want to become invalid presbyters, has come up with a possible solution -- we kid you not -- robo-presbyters! On May 31, 2017, Robo-presbyter, also known as BlessU-2, was unveiled in Wittenberg, Germany. The robot hands out blessings via a touchscreen and delivers words ?inspired by God? in five different languages, in a male or female voice. Thus, Newchurch has overcome the problem of presbyteresses (priestesses): Robo-presbyter is bisexual.
    The Newchurcher simply selects the blessing that he wants on Robo-presbyter's touch screen, and the machine will raise its hands in blessing, emit light from its hands as it asks God's face to "shine upon you" and "show you mercy," while its mouth moves and its eyes rotate. After the blessing is completed, the Newchurcher has the option to print a receipt of the blessing his personal records. [Some information for this Commentary was contributed by the U.K. Sun.]
    True Catholics, weird as this sounds, there have been Newchurch apps issue already for the Novus Ordo unsacrament of "reconciliation." Plans are probably already underway in Newchurch to develop Robo-presbyter to stimulate an invalid Novus Ordo Mess. Lord knows, Newchurch is going to need something like this, as the ranks of the Newchurch clergy are rapidly dying off with only a few men interested in subjecting themselves to the sodomies and heresies going on in Newchurch seminaries.

    Offline TKGS

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 4553
    • Reputation: +3909/-365
    • Gender: Male
    Re: A First--- Robo Presbyter s
    « Reply #1 on: July 08, 2017, 06:57:15 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • This is also reported in the mainstream press:

    The Guardian article

    According to the Guardian article, it is a Protestant initiative.


     

    Sitemap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16