By being told I mean an internal unmistakable  desire to go.

I might also mention that I finally stopped going to Mass after becoming a member of this forum. Maybe I just finally came to my senses with your help.

crossbro

400 Masses is a lot, more than I can say I've done in a calendar year. Never having walked in your shoes; I hope that you can take something of use...

You may find yourself a victim of oppression, sadness, bewilderment, anger, or regret to set you up down the road into despair. Somewhere in your life, a 'door is open.' Satan has done a good job in misdirecting you from addressing it because you believe it to be a smaller problem with 'bigger' issues to deal with.

Unfortunately, and speaking from experience, the door may not close until you specifically address that particular issue(s)-- until then you will be going in circles...and as in a Parallax, you may be closer than you think to being free; all depending on what viewpoint you take.

Keep in mind, many great saints (ie St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi) have experienced  'spiritual dryness' because it was precisely God's special love for them by removing the "spiritual cookie" so to speak. In other words, they didn't experience temporal consolations with their prayers, Masses etc. For these souls; it was God removing in them 'spiritual imperfections,' to love God for Himself alone; and not on His gifts -- by testing these souls to live their life based on a pure Faith without the senses involved. A remedy would be to first focus on directing your attention when you wake up to: a.)love of God over creatures, b.)glorifying God by the conduct of your life, c.)adoring the Will of God in whatever circuмstances you find yourself in.

Given the unique Crisis of the Church, rarely will it be just one issue, but several due to the lack of Catholic role models in our life, bad Catechesis by the Church, and untrust/ or lack of good spiritual directors... and perhaps a era we are living in where we have to really examine everything and retain what is good; with the good coming from unexpected areas in our life.