These past weeks, the Synod of the Family has attracted - rightly so - much publicity.

However, I would like to know what is the actual teaching of the Catholic Church when it comes to Catholic marriages that end in separation.

The 1983 Catechism isn't helpful because all it says is:

1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. the spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. the Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.

If one can provide links to Church docuмents or theologians it would be appreciated. But personal opinions are welcome too.

I'm asking this in order to help a friend of mine who's passing through this sad experience:

Prayer for a Maltese family

One additional note, however, is that traditionally, in order for a couple to separate, they would need the local ordinary's permission to live apart.  I have no idea what the "current" rules are.

I was told that a civil divorce, if necessary to protect the legal rights of the spouse and children, would be allowable.  But it is only legal protection, it does not allow spouses to re-marry as they are still married in the eyes of God.

Is this wrong?

I don't think so, especially if the marriage has denigrated to a point where one of the spouses is abusive to the point of harm/danger (physically, emotionally, etc.). Civilly divorcing would allow the two to be apart and the situation to be assuaged, I presume.

Matthew 19:9 ESV / 96 helpful votes   

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sɛҳuąƖ immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Matthew 5:32 ESV / 68 helpful votes   

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sɛҳuąƖ immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:15 ESV / 59 helpful votes   

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV / 55 helpful votes   

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Mark 10:11 ESV / 46 helpful votes

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,

Matthew 5:31-32 ESV / 42 helpful votes   

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sɛҳuąƖ immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:26-28 ESV / 39 helpful votes   

I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

1 Corinthians 7:39 ESV / 37 helpful votes   

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40 ESV / 25 helpful votes   

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sɛҳuąƖ relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sɛҳuąƖ immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ...

Matthew 19:6 ESV / 25 helpful votes   

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ESV / 25 helpful votes   

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

Genesis 2:24 ESV / 23 helpful votes

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Luke 16:18 ESV / 22 helpful votes

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Romans 7:3 ESV / 18 helpful votes

Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Malachi 2:14-16 ESV / 17 helpful votes   

But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV / 16 helpful votes   

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. ...

Mark 10:11-12 ESV / 16 helpful votes   

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

1 Corinthians 7:13-15 ESV / 15 helpful votes   

If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

1 Corinthians 7:10 ESV / 15 helpful votes   

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband

Romans 7:2 ESV / 15 helpful votes

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

Matthew 19:8-9 ESV / 15 helpful votes   

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sɛҳuąƖ immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Hebrews 13:4 ESV / 14 helpful votes   

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sɛҳuąƖly immoral and adulterous.

Genesis 2:18 ESV / 14 helpful votes

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Mark 10:2-12 ESV / 13 helpful votes

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ...

Matthew 19:9-12 ESV / 12 helpful votes   

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sɛҳuąƖ immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Deuteronomy 24:4 ESV / 12 helpful votes   

Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

Romans 7:1-3 ESV / 11 helpful votes   

Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Matthew 19:8 ESV / 11 helpful votes   

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

Romans 7:2-3 ESV / 10 helpful votes   

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Mark 10:12 ESV / 10 helpful votes

And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Acts 5:29 ESV / 9 helpful votes

But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

Malachi 2:15 ESV / 9 helpful votes

Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.

1 Peter 3:7-12 ESV / 8 helpful votes   

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. ...

Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV / 8 helpful votes   

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ...

Matthew 19:4-6 ESV / 8 helpful votes   

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:3-9 ESV / 8 helpful votes   

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” ...

Malachi 2:16 ESV / 8 helpful votes

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

John 4:16-18 ESV / 7 helpful votes

Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

Ezra 9:1-10:44 ESV / 7 helpful votes   

After these things had been done, the officials approached me and said, “The people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands with their abominations, from the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. For they have taken some of their daughters to be wives for themselves and for their sons, so that the holy race has mixed itself with the peoples of the lands. And in this faithlessness the hand of the officials and chief men has been foremost.” As soon as I heard this, I tore my garment and my cloak and pulled hair from my head and beard and sat appalled. Then all who trembled at the words of the God of Israel, because of the faithlessness of the returned exiles, gathered around me while I sat appalled until the evening sacrifice. And at the evening sacrifice I rose from my fasting, with my garment and my cloak torn, and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the Lord my God, ...

1 Corinthians 7:11 ESV / 6 helpful votes   

(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Romans 7:1-25 ESV / 6 helpful votes   

Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. ...

Matthew 19:1-10 ESV / 6 helpful votes   

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ...

Matthew 19:1-30 ESV / 6 helpful votes   

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ...

Matthew 5:31 ESV / 6 helpful votes

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’

James 1:1-27 ESV / 5 helpful votes

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ...

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV / 5 helpful votes

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

1 Timothy 3:1-16 ESV / 5 helpful votes   

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? ...

2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV / 5 helpful votes   

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV / 5 helpful votes   

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

1 Corinthians 7:1 ESV / 5 helpful votes   

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sɛҳuąƖ relations with a woman.”

John 8:4-11 ESV / 5 helpful votes

They said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. ...

Exodus 21:7-11 ESV / 5 helpful votes   

“When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. If she does not please her master, who has designated her for himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has broken faith with her. If he designates her for his son, he shall deal with her as with a daughter. If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.

Titus 1:6 ESV / 4 helpful votes

If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.

1 Corinthians 7:34 ESV / 4 helpful votes   

And his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

Malachi 2:14 ESV / 4 helpful votes

But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 ESV / 3 helpful votes   

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ...

Matthew 19:1-12 ESV / 3 helpful votes   

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ...

John 15:13 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

As others have stated, except in very rare and unique circuмstances (involving the Petrine or Pauline Privileges) the marital bond itself can never be dissolved, except by the death of one of the spouses.

However, there are some sad situations where a husband and wife may stop living a communal life, although they are still married.  The 1917 Code of Canon Law deals with this:

Canon 1128. The married couple is obliged to live together in conjugal relations, unless a just cause frees them from this obligation.

Canon 1129. For reason of adultery of one party, the other has the right to solve even for all times the community of life, though the marriage bond remains, unless the other consented to the crime, or was the cause of it, or expressly, or tacitly, condoned it, or, finally, committed the same crime himself, or herself.

Tacit condoning of the crime consists in this that the innocent party, after having become certain of the crime, nevertheless continue to live with the other in marital relations; such the law presumes to be the case, unless the innocent party within six months either expel or leave the guilty partner, or bring legal accusation against him, or her.

Canon 1130. The married person who, either upon sentence of the judge, or by his or her own authority lawfully leaves the guilty party, has no longer obligation to again admit the adulterer to conjugal life; the innocent party, however, has the right to admit the guilty partner, and to oblige him, or her, to return, unless he or she has in the meantime, with the consent of the innocent part, embraced a state of life contrary to marriage.

Canon 1131. Other reasons for separation: if one party joins a non-Catholic sect; or educates the offspring as non-Catholic; or leads a criminal and despicable life; or creates great bodily or spiritual danger to the other party; or if through cruelties he or she makes living together too difficult, and other such reasons, which are to the innocent party so many legal causes to leave the guilty part by authority of the Ordinary of the diocese, or also by private authority, if the guilt of the other part is certain beyond doubt, and there is danger in delay.

In all these cases the common life must be restored when the reason for the separation ceases; if, however, the separation was pronounced by the bishop for a time, or indefinitely, the innocent party is not obliged to return except when the time specified has elapsed or the bishop gives orders to return.

Canon 1132. After the separation, the children are to the placed in the charge of the innocent party, and if one of the parties is a non-Catholic the Catholic party is the have charge over them, that they may be raised as Catholics, unless the Ordinary decide differently for the sake of the welfare of the children, always safeguarding their Catholic education.

What is "non-civil" divorce?