I prefer not to give my name. Excuse me. I am a young Muslim who after a series of intellectual and spiritual transformations came to Christ in a spirit of sincere and deep faith, pure superstition or greed. I live in a Muslim country where the conversion is strongly condemned by the law and the people. This is not a problem to me particularly, I happen painlessly masses, churches, Christmas and Christian atmosphere. I do not feel deprived in this regard.
Over time, I felt growing within addictions detachment, self-sacrifice and renunciation. In fact, they have always existed, but they were previously suppressed by the Muslim dogma. I'm 21, and the lack of sensuality, hedonism if I may say, that characterizes me me always in one way or another been at odds with my surroundings, especially when you're only son a Muslim family. Celibacy is frowned upon in Islam, and also monasticism. Therefore, I always felt some guilt in this regard, those of you who know the position of Islam vis-à-vis the flesh and marriage are more likely to understand me. Especially as the aggressive virility and sɛҳuąƖ potency are regarded as spiritual virtues in Islam, notably based on the example of the Prophet and his companions.
Today apostate from Islam and giving all my heart to the Lord Jesus, I stopped to look back (it is not, however, unlikely that I undertake one of these days a settlement account with doctrinal religious Islam and professionals Islamic-Christian dialogue), but at the same time I found myself stopped at the threshold of the Roman Church, for several reasons. The first is the hurtful experience I had with the representatives of the Roman Catholic Church, it is not easy, at least psychologically, to be simultaneously disowned by his people (the Muslims in general) and the Church. The door closed, indifference, messages unanswered, complacency and pleasantries with the persecutors. Many factors contributed to feed my disappointment in the Roman Church at the same time when Protestants, Evangelicals, Unitarians, JW tried to use this disappointment to convert me to their heresies. I still refused to give me a warm fanaticism of these groups as their spiritual immaturity and blind proselytizing simply not fit me
The second reason is that some of my ideas may find too heterodox. I'm afraid to sacrifice my total freedom of thought officially coating the Catholic faith. I saw some Catholics in their relentless and unconditional defense of their church eventually piétinier the feelings of people with doubts or questions to legitimate background, especially if they originate from a religion like Islam. I'm afraid to find myself one day I also defend my chapel, wearing a "hat" and waving any flag. There's the social side that scares me, the Church as a social thing.
Finally, to many dead ends and restrictions on both worldly and spiritual, I do not know what to do with these inclinations detachment and self-sacrifice, the priesthood of the aspiration that continues to grow. There's so many other things in my life that explain such tendencies, but I can not expose you to be concise and focused on the essentials.
I turn to you, brothers and sisters, hoping to get answers without judging me (as is too often the case).
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