... Don't you ever see what the folks who came before did and feel your own behavior inadequate by comparison?
I
feel many things but, ultimately, it is not up to me to judge. The only measure for a Catholic is conformity to God's will. If he calls you to take up the sword like the Maccabees or the Crusaders, do it. If He calls you to be bold in speech like St. Paul, do it. If he calls you to suffer like the martyrs of Lyons, do it (see below). But whatever we do needs to be done because it is
His will and for
His glory, not our own. Otherwise we may be quite shocked when we go to our judgement.
He is obviously calling each of us to live in these times. Many are having their Faith tested as He indicated (But yet the Son of man, when he cometh, shall he find, think you, faith on earth?"
[
Luke 18:8]) We all have a choice: believe Him and stick with Him, come Hell or high water, or let doubts, feelings, and the fact that we often don't understand why he lets certain things come to pass draw us away. It's a temptation we all face to a greater or lesser extent. Make the right choice and stick with Him and His Church. Don't demand that He operate according to your understanding and on your time frame, no Saint ever did.
P.S. In another post I think you are referring to Gibbon's
Decline and Fall. If so, stay away from it, there's a reason that it's on the Index. Those who play with fire...
The martyrs of 177A.D.
We could not want for a better description of the persecution which crowned St. Blandina a martyr than we have in the letter which was sent to the faithful in Asia Minor by those who survived the slaughter at Lyons. The famed ecclesiastical historian, Eusebius, gives the letter in toto. The following are extracts from it, highlighting the role of St. Blandina in particular.
"But those who were worthy were seized day by day, filling up their number, so that all the zealous persons, and those through whom especially our affairs had been established, were collected together out of the two churches. And some of our heathen servants also were seized, as the governor had commanded that all of us should be examined publicly. These, being ensnared by Satan, and fearing for themselves the tortures which they beheld the saints endure, and being also urged on by the soldiers, accused us falsely of Thyestean banquets and Edipodean intercourse, and of deeds which are not only unlawful for us to speak of or to think, but which we cannot believe were ever done by men. When these accusations were reported, all the people raged like wild beasts against us, so that even if any had before been moderate on account of friendship, they were now exceedingly furious and gnashed their teeth against us. And that which was spoken by our Lord was fulfilled: 'The time will come when whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service.' Then finally the holy witnesses endured sufferings beyond description, Satan striving earnestly that some of the slanders might be uttered by them also.
"But the whole wrath of the populace, and governor, and soldiers was aroused exceedingly against Sanctus, the deacon from Vienne, and Maturus, a late convert, yet a noble combatant, and against Attalus, a native of Pergamos where he had always been a pillar and foundation, and Blandina, through whom Christ showed that things which appear mean and obscure and despicable to men are with God of great glory, through love toward him manifested in power, and not boasting in appearance. For while we all trembled, and her earthly mistress, who was herself also one of the witnesses, feared that on account of the weakness of her body, she would be unable to make bold confession, Blandina was filled with such power as to be delivered and raised above those who were torturing her by turns from morning till evening in every manner, so that they acknowledged that they were conquered, and could do nothing more to her. And they were astonished at her endurance, as her entire body was mangled and broken; and they testified that one of these forms of torture was sufficient to destroy life, not to speak of so many and so great sufferings. But the blessed woman, like a noble athlete, renewed her strength in her confession; and her comfort and recreation and relief from the pain of her sufferings was in exclaiming, 'I am a Christian, and there is nothing vile done by us.'
…"After these things, finally, their martyrdoms. For plaiting a crown of various colours and of all kinds of flowers, they presented it to the Father. It was proper therefore that the noble athletes, having endured a manifold strife, and conquered grandly, should receive the crown, great and incorruptible.
"Maturus, therefore, and Sanctus and Blandina and Attalus were led to the amphitheatre to be exposed to the wild beasts, and to give to the heathen public a spectacle of cruelty, a day for fighting with wild beasts being specially appointed on account of our people. Both Maturus and Sanctus passed again through every torment in the amphitheatre, as if they had suffered nothing before, or rather, as if, having already conquered their antagonist in many contests, they were now striving for the crown itself. They endured again the customary running of the gauntlet and the violence of the wild beasts, and everything which the furious people called for or desired, and at last, the iron chair in which their bodies being roasted, tormented them with the fumes. And not with this did the persecutors cease, but were yet more mad against them, determined to overcome their patience. But even thus they did not hear a word from Sanctus except the confession which he had uttered from the beginning. These, then, after their life had continued for a long time through the great conflict, were at last sacrificed, having been made throughout that day a spectacle to the world, in place of the usual variety of combats.
“But Blandina was suspended on a stake, and exposed to be devoured by the wild beasts who should attack her. And because she appeared as if hanging on a cross, and because of her earnest prayers, she inspired the combatants with great zeal. For they looked on her in her conflict, and beheld with their outward eyes, in the form of their sister, him who was crucified for them, that he might persuade those who believe on him, that every one who suffers for the glory of Christ has fellowship always with the living God. As none of the wild beasts at that time touched her, she was taken down from the stake, and cast again into prison. She was preserved thus for another contest, that, being victorious in more conflicts, she might make the punishment of the crooked serpent irrevocable; and, though small and weak and despised, yet clothed with Christ the mighty and conquering Athlete, she might arouse the zeal of the brethren, and, having overcome the adversary many times might receive, through her conflict, the crown incorruptible."
Topic: Having a bit of a crisis of faith (Read 1596 times)