What would your "faith for average people" look like? We have some pretty good options here in the "Bible Belt" that seem to fit your parameters:
1) No praying to Mary (in fact they call us Catholics Mary-worshippers, like you have, in so many words, elsewhere on this forum);
2) No "Club Infallible" (in fact they, like you, equate the Pope with the "beast" and assert that he believes himself to be a god--sounding good to you, huh?);
3) No Rosaries;
4) Authority = 100% Bible and absolutely noting else (sola Scriptura--you should see some of the consequences of this one--a church will have a big fight within--they group off and dig in--next thing you know one church has turned in to 3 or 4, and a few years later, you inevitably get the same thing again--it looks lke they're hung up on and misinterpretting "go forth and multiply"-- but who am I to judge, after all, I turn to "men in dresses" and "Club Infallible" (one phrase you may not have heard before but will need to get accustomed to) for guidance on Scripture);
5) Apostolic chain - why who cares about that?
Of course, they wouldn't like you calling yourself Catholic anymore -- that wouldn't be much of an impediment to you, would it?!? And they probably wouldn't like it very much if your ever dropped your anti-Catholic rhetoric - still no problem, though, right?
Come on down, if you're not already down here as I suspect, and I'll show you around. You'll need several days though, because Ill be showing you a few hundred "churches," all Bible-believing, no less!