All of these things that describe the profile of an abusive husband seem very subjective. Yet, they are used to help women determine if they are victims of domestic violence or not. Also, there doesn't seem to be much effort or hope to fix the relationship, but rather to just get out of it. Additionally, there seems to be little to no effort at personal responsibility. On the one hand i can see how this makes some sense, with a world full of crazies, but on the other it seems like just another way of breaking up families/long term relationships, in favor of a rootless, disconnected and culture-less lifestyle, that seems to mirror the behavior of our business leaders (not much fidelity to anyone or any place).
Characteristics of Abusive Men
Control
Control is the "overarching behavioral characteristic" of abusive men, achieved with criticism, verbal abuse, financial control, isolation, cruelty, etc. (see Power & Control Wheel). The need to control may deepen over time or escalate if a woman seeks independence (e.g. going to school).
Entitlement
Entitlement is the "overarching attitudinal characteristic" of abusive men, a belief in having special rights without responsibilities, justifying unreasonable expectations (e.g., family life must centre on his needs). He will feel the wronged party when his needs are not met and may justify violence as self-defence.
Selfishness & Self-centredness
An expectation of being the centre of attention, having his needs anticipated. May not support or listen to others.
Superiority
Contempt for woman as stupid, unworthy, a sex object or as a house keeper.
Possessiveness
Seeing a woman and his children as property.
Confusing Love & Abuse
Explaining violence as an expression of his deep love.
Manipulativeness
A tactic of confusion, distortion and lies. May project image of himself as good, and portray the woman as crazy or abusive.
Contradictory Statements & Behaviours
Saying one thing and doing another, such as being publicly critical of men who abuse women.
Externalization of Responsibility
Shifting blame for his actions and their effects to others, especially the woman, or to external factors such as job stress.
Denial, Minimization, & Victim Blaming
Refusing to acknowledge abusive behaviour (e.g. she fell), not acknowledging the seriousness of his behaviour and its effects (e.g., it's just a scratch), blaming the victim (e.g., she drove me to it; she made it up because I have a new girlfriend).
Serial Battering
Some men are abusive in relationship after relationship.
Men can exhibit some or all of these characteristics and never physically assault a woman.
This material was summarized from Lundy Bancroft & Jay Silverman (2002). The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
http://www.lfcc.on.ca/HCT_SWASM_4.html
Topic: Domestic Violence Has Made Violence A Meaningless Term (Read 6391 times)