Quote from: Joe

The only person who knows for certain what is abuse is the victim.  You have to have subjective categories for them to evaluate their situation.  If they feel controlled by their husband or wife then that is abuse, pure and simple.

I'm curious as what you would answer to these questions, Joe.

Husband expects wife to make dinner and wash the dishes because he works all day. Wife doesn't like cooking and washing dishes. She resents it and feels controlled. That's abuse to you?

Wife expects husband to mow the yard and take out the trash. Husband doesn't like those chores, and feels as though his wife is controlling him. That's abuse?

I would be very cautious in defining terms based on feelings, Joe. Feelings are terribly fickle, and often founded upon our selfishness and disordered desires, as opposed to justice which orders things properly. Feelings cannot be trusted to order things properly, in general.

I think paying too much attention to feelings has put our society into very hot water. One only needs to look at all of the "tolerance" speech that plagues society to see this.