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Author Topic: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest  (Read 1187 times)

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Offline Luis7

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What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
« on: September 20, 2019, 08:55:37 PM »
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    • As I was considering returning to the Catholic faith, more than one month I go I decided to confess. Because I was in a long time without confessing, and also returning to the faith, I think he did a great job as a confessor. I was still doing some research about some topics (mainly about the liceity of the New Mass), so I didn’t go to Mass during this period. As a came to the conclusion that I was sinning by not going to Mass, and also because I wanted to receive the Eucharist, I decided to confess again. But this time he didn’t give me the same attention. He told me there was no need to confess again in such a short period of time things he considered to be venial sins, like the Skipping the Sunday Obligation and masturbation, which I disagree. He did absolve me from my sins but he was in a hurry so he didn’t wait me to tell all the things I wanted to confess.

    So, first of all, was the absolution valid?
    I feel like I’m not comfortable to receive the Eucharist and not comfortable to confess with him again.

    He is the only priest in the city that is available for confession, as far as I know.
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    Offline Viva Cristo Rey

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #1 on: September 20, 2019, 09:37:04 PM »
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    • We have had the similar thing happened to us with confession.  

    I myself have missed Mass because I have been spiritually sick... ( felt terrible because missing Mass is a mortal sin.)  

    I finally recently found a better priest for confession.  For me going to confession once a week is needed.  

    you need to find another priest to confess to. 
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    Online Stubborn

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #2 on: September 21, 2019, 05:38:58 AM »
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    • Use this as your primary resource to study the new "mass". Do not go to it for any reason, you do not fulfill your Sunday Obligation by going to it. Go to or call one of these places (SSPX) or hopefully someone will post other links to a resistance or other traditional Mass in your area where you can get the True Mass and sacraments. Or do a search in your area for the Traditional Latin Mass, strive to go to one that is non-diocesan. 

    Do not go to diocesan confession, all sincere souls who go there ask the same question as you - "was the absolution valid?" The answer is - doubtfully at best, or no one knows.



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    "But Peter and the apostles answering, said: We ought to obey God, rather than men." - Acts 5:29

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    Offline TKGS

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #3 on: September 21, 2019, 08:01:39 AM »
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    • Quote from: Luis7 on September 20, 2019, 08:55:37 PM
    ...things he considered to be venial sins, like the Skipping the Sunday Obligation and masturbation, which I disagree. 
    From this comment alone, I have to believe the priest in question is a Novus Ordo priest.  If so, your confession was not valid.
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    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #4 on: September 21, 2019, 08:30:37 AM »
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    • Quote from: TKGS on September 21, 2019, 08:01:39 AM
    From this comment alone, I have to believe the priest in question is a Novus Ordo priest.  If so, your confession was not valid.

    Yep.  I would seek a Traditional priest and start all over with a General Confession.  Of course, the SSPX priests are instructed to tell you that the Novus Ordo Sacaraments are valid, so if you mention this to him, he might waive off re-confessing those sins.  But just say you want to make a General Confession, having been away from the Church long.  In a General Confession, you need make no mention of previous Confessions (unless there's a need to confess having concealed something during one of those).
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    Offline TKGS

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #5 on: September 21, 2019, 11:33:36 AM »
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    • Quote from: Ladislaus on September 21, 2019, 08:30:37 AM
    Yep.  I would seek a Traditional priest and start all over with a General Confession.  Of course, the SSPX priests are instructed to tell you that the Novus Ordo Sacaraments are valid...
    Though one needs to ensure that the SSPX priest was ordained by one of the SSPX bishops and not a Novus Ordo priest working with the SSPX.
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    Offline ByzCat3000

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #6 on: September 21, 2019, 08:29:26 PM »
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    • Quote from: TKGS on September 21, 2019, 08:01:39 AM
    From this comment alone, I have to believe the priest in question is a Novus Ordo priest.  If so, your confession was not valid.
    How would you know it was invalid?
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    Offline Matto

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #7 on: September 21, 2019, 08:38:10 PM »
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    • Quote from: ByzCat3000 on September 21, 2019, 08:29:26 PM
    How would you know it was invalid?

    TKGS believes like most sedevacantists and many other trads that the Novus Ordo Holy Orders are invalid, so in his mind the man is not a valid priest so all of his absolutions are not valid.
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    Offline ByzCat3000

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #8 on: September 21, 2019, 08:39:51 PM »
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    • Quote from: Matto on September 21, 2019, 08:38:10 PM
    TKGS believes like most sedevacantists and many other trads that the Novus Ordo Holy Orders are invalid, so in his mind the man is not a valid priest so all of his absolutions are not valid.
    The big thing I don't get is the certainty.  I can see seeing them as doubtful, but if I were a Sede I'd probably see it as an unresolved question.

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    Offline TKGS

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #9 on: September 22, 2019, 03:57:17 PM »
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    • Actually, the new rite of ordination is probably valid, though I would agree that one could have uncertainty on the issue.

    It is the new rite of consecration that is invalid, so bishops consecrated in the new rite have not the power to ordain priests.

    While it may be possible that the priest in question is an elderly priest or was ordained by an elderly bishop, his obvious complete ignorance of what constitutes mortal sin--or, more likely, his rejection of the very concept of mortal sin, goes to the very heart of his intentions in the confessional.

    One simply cannot seriously consider the sins listed as being merely venial sins unless one has completely lost the faith and really doesn't believe the sacrament of penance has any actual value.  On the other hand, the sacraments are not valid or invalid based on the faith of the priest, so, if the priest is actually validly ordained by a real bishop, then the confession would be valid (though I wouldn't risk my salvation on it).

    Ladislaus gave the best advice.
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    Offline ByzCat3000

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #10 on: September 22, 2019, 05:29:31 PM »
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    • Quote from: TKGS on September 22, 2019, 03:57:17 PM
    Actually, the new rite of ordination is probably valid, though I would agree that one could have uncertainty on the issue.

    It is the new rite of consecration that is invalid, so bishops consecrated in the new rite have not the power to ordain priests.

    While it may be possible that the priest in question is an elderly priest or was ordained by an elderly bishop, his obvious complete ignorance of what constitutes mortal sin--or, more likely, his rejection of the very concept of mortal sin, goes to the very heart of his intentions in the confessional.

    One simply cannot seriously consider the sins listed as being merely venial sins unless one has completely lost the faith and really doesn't believe the sacrament of penance has any actual value.  On the other hand, the sacraments are not valid or invalid based on the faith of the priest, so, if the priest is actually validly ordained by a real bishop, then the confession would be valid (though I wouldn't risk my salvation on it).

    Ladislaus gave the best advice.
    I’m cool with being careful.
    From whence comes your certainty on the new rite consecration though?
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    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #11 on: September 22, 2019, 05:30:02 PM »
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    • Quote from: TKGS on September 21, 2019, 11:33:36 AM
    Though one needs to ensure that the SSPX priest was ordained by one of the SSPX bishops and not a Novus Ordo priest working with the SSPX.

    Yes.  Especially these days.  Back in the day, the one or two floating around were well known, one might say even notorious, and avoided by many SSPX types.  We would use the Cor Unum to look up each priest to make sure they were SSPX-ordained.
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    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #12 on: September 22, 2019, 05:32:19 PM »
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    • I'm not certain that either consecration or ordination is valid, but I have seen enough solid arguments that I feel there's positive doubt about them.  Whether certainly invalid or merely positively doubtful, the practical response is the same ... avoid.  Now, if merely positively doubtful (vs. certainly), one could try to receive the Sacraments if there's no other option in danger of death.
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    Offline poche

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    Re: What to do if I don't feel comfortable confessing to my parish priest
    « Reply #13 on: September 23, 2019, 08:19:06 AM »
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    • Quote from: Luis7 on September 20, 2019, 08:55:37 PM
    As I was considering returning to the Catholic faith, more than one month I go I decided to confess. Because I was in a long time without confessing, and also returning to the faith, I think he did a great job as a confessor. I was still doing some research about some topics (mainly about the liceity of the New Mass), so I didn’t go to Mass during this period. As a came to the conclusion that I was sinning by not going to Mass, and also because I wanted to receive the Eucharist, I decided to confess again. But this time he didn’t give me the same attention. He told me there was no need to confess again in such a short period of time things he considered to be venial sins, like the Skipping the Sunday Obligation and masturbation, which I disagree. He did absolve me from my sins but he was in a hurry so he didn’t wait me to tell all the things I wanted to confess.

    So, first of all, was the absolution valid?
    I feel like I’m not comfortable to receive the Eucharist and not comfortable to confess with him again.

    He is the only priest in the city that is available for confession, as far as I know.
    How far away from you is the next Catholic Church?
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