I firmly believe that today was a providential day for me.
This was my third Sunday at the only "approved" Mass in the state. I had respected the previous two I went to because they were fittingly reverential and it was a new experience that I wanted to wait out and be patient with. But today there were three problems:
1. It was getting towards 90 degrees even in the midmorning so the mass was moved from the main church building to a small attached chapel which was air conditioned. This chapel had none of the atmosphere of reverence I had come to associate with the Mass.
2. Furthermore it being in the chapel brought to light a number of characteristics that I could not pick out in the main church because I was too far away. One, the priest was not speaking the Latin reverently, it sounded almost as though it were a curiosity or a formality to him. Two, the altar servers did have a proper attitude, they were talking back and forth, made cursory genuflections etc.
3. The capstone on this experience, the thing that convinced me I was brought there today for a very special reason was the recessional hymn, which was...wait for it...
My Country 'Tis of Thee!
At that point I prayed for mercy for myself and everyone present and asked forgiveness for giving this parish my money.
I just had to get that experience off my chest :dancing:
CMRI sent me a gracious email in response to my request during the week and soon I'll be in contact with a nearby priest, alleluia!