I had to reread this a time or two, and the "since" now registers. My first thought was that at the bitter end, you were thinking this. When that rocket or mortar round landed behind the latrine at 0530 in Baghdad while I was in a pinch, all I could think was ,"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!"
Perhaps you do not understand my perspective on "since." Certainly "Nothing focuses a man's mind like impending death." Of course, the immediate spectre of death demands prompt reflection and contrition, but my post is
not about that immediacy and urgency of contrition in the time near death. Too, current events parallel with a global "brush with death." It's bad 'out there.'
My post regards the things I have been thinking about "
since" ("
after") that immediacy, the
aftermath, specifically:
"Why have myriads of 'Trads' usurped, arrogated to themselves, authority (and charisms) that we do not have?"
I do think that, as Drolo and St. Louis have hinted, that the
apparent headlessness makes a vacuum, a void that more easily allows individuals (and individual leaders of sects/factions) to wander according to their/our various proclivities and conscupiscences.
Before my brushes with death I wondered about these problems. In the
immediacy of the brushes, I properly had no time for abstract concerns about the world's problems. In the
aftermath of this most recent brush, I have the luxury (Deo gratias!) of again pondering such abstract (?) concerns. Why are there so many little 'popes' leading in different directions?
Capisce?Though it has little to do with my original post, my favorite prayer touches on your grenade anecdote.
Prayer of St. Augustine
Before Thy eyes, O Lord, we bring our offences, and we compare them with the stripes we have received.
If we consider the evil we have wrought, what we suffer is little, what we deserve is great.
What we have committed is very grave, what we have suffered is very slight.
We feel the punishment of sin, yet withdraw not from the obstinacy of sinning.
Under Thy lash our inconstancy is visited, but our sinfulness is not changed.
Our suffering soul is tormented but our neck is not bent.
Our life groans under sorrow, yet mends not in deed.
If Thou spare us we correct not our ways; if Thou punish we cannot endure it.
In time of correction we confess our wrong-doing; after Thy visitation we forget that we have wept.
If Thou stretchest forth Thy hand we promise amendment; if Thou withholdest the sword we keep not our promise.
If Thou strikest we cry out for mercy; if Thou sparest we again provoke Thee to strike.
Here we are before Thee, O Lord, shameless criminals; we know that unless Thou pardon we shall deservedly perish.
Grant then, O almighty Father, without our deserving it, the pardon we ask for; Thou who madest out of nothing those who ask Thee. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Let us pray
O God, who by sin art offended and by penance pacified, mercifully regard the prayers of Thy suppliant people, and turn away the scourges of Thy wrath, which we deserve for our sins. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.