I am in need of listening to about my mom. When my dad died, 5 years later my mom is introduced to a twice divorced no religion man by her sister-in-law of a unitarian church. This aunt, to me, was the kind that would let you know that she could be saved and that she was no different than a catholic. So, my mom wants to marry this man knowing that there were obstacles to make it look right. She was New Order and in 1987 a new order priest told my mom how to go about it.
1) Priest said, go to a minister and have your marriage blessed. (He meant, go and get married in front of someone else other than a new order priest)
2) And the Priest will see about annulling the 2 divorces of this man.
3) my mom was told she can not receive any sacraments until the annulment is done. Then she goes to confession, (sorry for what, should be for getting married outside the church)
4) Then this man becomes baptized and I marry you both.
Now, question, is this rigged? I say yes! My mother marries this man in my aunt's home by her minister and to add salt to the wound, my brother marries with them his girlfriend. A double ring ceremony, as they say.
It took me awhile to see that this was all wrong. When I did see it, being traditional, I told my mom and my siblings and I got hate in my face.
I got a letter today from my sister that she never wants to speak to me again, til I apologize to mom and so-called step dad. Apologize? What did I do so wrong? I didn't accept what happened. I don't see my mom's confession as sorrow for marrying in front of a minister.
My mom told me the step-by-step procedure to get what she wanted. I asked my mom, what day did you marry in the church. She said she does not recall. They have celebrated their anniversary for over 25 years on the day of marrying in front of a minister.
I told our children, that this marriage never took place in the eyes of God and this man is not your step Grandpa.
So, the end result of my mom's scandal is the whole family against me. That is 8 of my siblings. My mother is 82. Our last conversation ended with her hanging up on me. We were talking about the changes in the church and how my mom sees the homosexuals as children of God. I told my mom, you have changed mom. You never taught your children these things. and she hung up.
So, any reply to this is very welcomed.
My reply isn't very trad, but I believe in devil's advocates
and your mom was a free agent after your dad passed. I'm not clear on the timeframe, but having her next 25-year marriage in any way "made right" in the conciliar church simply was never going to happen. I think she'll be in the clear for that because at least she asked.
To ask a priest you believe to be a priest, and get that advice, and to be in a 25yr marriage ever sense, it would seem that your mom's heart was in the right place (she INTENDED to be married to this man in the eyes of God), and therefore the marriage is probably more valid in the eyes of God than we might imagine. And it can ONLY help your step-dad-?'s soul. (Not sure what to call him; sorry.)
Definitely there are questions with step-grandad's previous marriages (no doubt), but with their advanced ages, and her being your mother, and especially if she's been faithful to this man, I'd throw in the towel on this one. Make her happy.
(I grew up with this stuff, minus the most disturbing part:)
You're NOT going to see eye-to-eye on the "Sodomy-Is-Okay!"and other lies of Satan. Your mom's been brainwashed by the conciliar church, but she's old, and trying to manage in a very turbulent era.
My dad (former NO, now trad these last few years) still
questions things, and I bet your mom does, too, more than you think. My dad's questions are opposite of your mom's, but in a similar vein. Anyone in that age group who has to question a "church" they had to defend for decades, it's going to be very hard for them. They've been "trained" to wonder if they're being a "Pharisee" in recognizing Sodomy is a sin, or if they're not being charitable enough to assume (whatever modernists say:) that God blossomed all these Sodomites suddenly and we should trust Rome that gay is okay
I think, for all that age group has been through, and all the "evolving" messages from the Vatican, that God's going to put MOST of that responsibility for these types of sins (especially regular marriages not being properly vetted) on the heretic priests and bishops, because your mom sought out answers and TRIED to be pleasing to God. According to her priest
, she's in the clear. (Remember, you said it didn't occur to you immediately, either; and you're trad!)
Plus, I'm just not sure she should be asking the Sodomites (conciliar bishops) for a blessing on anything, much less a marriage. Nyet. (Maybe your priest, one day, but not the Sodomite priests.)
I agree you tell your children the truth, but advise them also that their grandmother believes differently, and why. Use it as an opportunity to show your kid the mystery of iniquity in action. My dad's had to re-learn how to do things from my children
; that's tough. (He remembers, but it had been about 50 years for him?) My kids joy in telling him Latin prayers; his favorite hymns and chants were in Latin anyway, so they have that. Things I NEVER thought I'd see (my Dad singing chants from a wheelchair, widowed). Brings tears to your eyes.
But I'm here to tell you, if you think converting your NO parent and step-whatever sounds nice, there's nothing sadder than an old man trying to remember HIS childhood hymns and chants as his grandchildren instruct him. It's awesome, but it's sad. You can see this sense of "betrayal" they feel; a heavy heart. And Daddy fears more now for the grandchildren than he ever did 5 years ago; he's CERTAIN 666 is here and is having bad dreams. Sometimes it's so hard to witness that I half-wonder if it's not better for the elderly faithful to die ignorant, but "covered" with the "Vatican 2 child" excuse.