please explain how grace is lost without sin (or conversely, how those in the state of grace are damned).
If you want to have an intelligent conversation then please provide more details. Your generic scenarios help no one.
p.s. A baptized catholic (even if brought up as atheist) who doesn't act like one (i.e. follow church law, receive communion, go to confession, etc) commits many sins of omission. If such a person reaches the age of reason and doesn't follow God's promptings to search for Truth, and doesn't go to church (at least), they sin in all manner of ways against the virtue of religion. Then, they won't last long in a state of grace.