Author Topic: Protestant wedding (Read 1534 times)

Gregory I · « **on:** August 28, 2011, 04:34:57 PM »

My protestant brother wants me, a Roman Catholic, to be an usher at his protestant wedding.

Does being an USHER constitute active participation in the ceremony?

TKGS · « **Reply #1 on:** August 28, 2011, 06:44:07 PM »

Why don't you ask your brother if he thinks you would be participating in his wedding ceremony and follow what he says?

I really don't know whether ushering at a wedding constitutes participation, though I'm sure a few people on the forum will have opinions on the matter.

Caminus · « **Reply #2 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:00:34 PM »

That is borderline case, but I would probably consider it active participation, as opposed to merely passive presence. Talk to a good priest about it.

Sigismund · « **Reply #3 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:44:23 PM »

Since ushering really goes on before the ceremony begins, and just involves seating people, it seems to me that it would be okay.

Gregory I · « **Reply #4 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:22:21 PM »

THe problem with THAT is that you are facilitating the participation ina protestant service. Catholic ushers are understood to help facilitate poeple's involvement at mass by helping them get situated so they can participate.

Is it not the same principle?

s2srea · « **Reply #5 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:39:23 PM »

Hi Greg- is there any reason you can not say no due to your being Roman Catholic? How would your brother respond?

Gregory I · « **Reply #6 on:** August 29, 2011, 12:03:53 AM »

My brother is sensitive, and I do not want to hurt his feelings. That, and my wife thinks I am uncharitable enough for speaking the truth when it's inconvenient, and also my parents came to my sons baptism today, so they probably think I am obliged to "return the favor."

Not gonna happen. I guess the only way to bring it up is to be plain: "I cannot participate in a service that I hold as intrinsically flawed. I cannot give assent to your faith, because it is DISSENT from my faith. And I will not dissent from the ONE true faith."

Tact is not my strong point.

PartyIsOver221 · « **Reply #7 on:** August 29, 2011, 02:06:44 AM »

Quote from: Gregory I

My brother is sensitive, and I do not want to hurt his feelings. That, and my wife thinks I am uncharitable enough for speaking the truth when it's inconvenient, and also my parents came to my sons baptism today, so they probably think I am obliged to "return the favor."

Not gonna happen. I guess the only way to bring it up is to be plain: "I cannot participate in a service that I hold as intrinsically flawed. I cannot give assent to your faith, because it is DISSENT from my faith. And I will not dissent from the ONE true faith."

Tact is not my strong point.

In my opinion, it is participating actively (not passively). It may be one thing to sit in the back row and be present for his own sake, but working at it is "active participation".

And Gregory, where did you find a wife that can tolerate you and your sede views? I need a lady like that! PLEASE HELP A BROTHER OUT , lol. Im 24 and will be looking pretty soon, God willing.

s2srea · « **Reply #8 on:** August 29, 2011, 08:05:06 AM »

Quote from: Gregory I

My brother is sensitive, and I do not want to hurt his feelings. That, and my wife thinks I am uncharitable enough for speaking the truth when it's inconvenient, and also my parents came to my sons baptism today, so they probably think I am obliged to "return the favor."

Not gonna happen. I guess the only way to bring it up is to be plain: "I cannot participate in a service that I hold as intrinsically flawed. I cannot give assent to your faith, because it is DISSENT from my faith. And I will not dissent from the ONE true faith."

Tact is not my strong point.

Hmm.. Okay well perhaps its the tact that could be focused on? I would start by just saying, you're sorry, you love him, but you can't participate since it would be a sin against your faith. Keep it simple. He will probably ask you what you mean. Be prepared to respond, if you decided to at this time; read some Catholic articles for thorough reasoning so it doesn't sound as if you don't know what you're talking about -that would be insulting and embarrassing.

But I doubt this would be the time to explain the Faith when I'm sure he'll be upset. So maybe be in a position where you can make a quick exit. If he responds poorly, do not respond. Don't even take it the wrong way. He may insult you or the Church and Her laws. Let it be.

Being a Catholic isn't easy in these circuмstances. But I know you know its worth it. Pray to God for guidance :)

Vladimir · « **Reply #9 on:** August 29, 2011, 08:14:23 AM »

There's members here that seem to think that breathing inside a protestant church is active participation and scandal.

Do it. It will not be scandalous in this day and age. At least that is my opinion.

s2srea · « **Reply #10 on:** August 29, 2011, 08:24:51 AM »

Quote from: Vladimir

There's members here that seem to think that breathing inside a protestant church is active participation and scandal.

Do it. It will not be scandalous in this day and age. At least that is my opinion.

Vladimir- please be more conscious of what you say and how it is said. First of all the air of, "Do it, its not as bad as everyone is making it seem" is a bit dangerous. This is indeed a sensitive matter, and regardless of how the majority of Catholics (especially NO and NO friendly) view it and Church law, should be treated with care.

Secondly, this is a completely different situation than your other thread about participating in a Protestant church with your musical abilities. Do not justify what you do that is harmful, by suggesting that someone else participate in another manner.

Lastly, the impression that the advice of those who were cautioning you against your participation in protestant worship is likened to breathing inside a protestant church is insulting. You obviously did not come here for advice, and chose to stick to the advice of someone else; in this case I presume it to be your FSSP priest. Sadly, this fact of him being a member of the FSSP only makes sense of everything.

Caution on the side of Christ and His Church always. Be more mindful of the harm and scandal which can be done Him and His Bride, and not of those who reject and hate them.

s2srea · « **Reply #11 on:** August 29, 2011, 08:29:48 AM »

Lastly, I would like to point out, that when making a decision of whether to participate or not in Protestant worship, that Protestants, more than anyone, HATE, mock, pervert, abuse and attack Our Lady.

Both of these cases (Greg and Vlad) have involved not wanting to offend someone. Well dwell on that for a few moments.

Gregory I · « **Reply #12 on:** August 29, 2011, 08:58:12 AM »

I am not really afraid of offending my BROTHER...it's more like I am just gonna catch so much flak from my wife and my parents.

Everytime it comes to NOT compromising with protestants , I am a jerk. lol.

When I say, they are at LEAST material heretics, I am uncharitable. When I say sharing truth is the highest form of charity, I am insensitive. So, whatever, I guess I will just politely refuse and absorb what comes.

What else can I do?

s2srea · « **Reply #13 on:** August 29, 2011, 09:04:40 AM »

Nothing my friend. You are doing what is right. I guess offer whatever comes your way to Christ

TKGS · « **Reply #14 on:** August 29, 2011, 10:04:23 PM »

Quote from: Gregory I

I am not really afraid of offending my BROTHER...it's more like I am just gonna catch so much flak from my wife and my parents.

Everytime it comes to NOT compromising with protestants , I am a jerk. lol.

When I say, they are at LEAST material heretics, I am uncharitable. When I say sharing truth is the highest form of charity, I am insensitive. So, whatever, I guess I will just politely refuse and absorb what comes.

What else can I do?

Seems that I can think of a few saints and even our Lord while on earth who were considered jerks in their day because they didn't necessarily go along with the mores of their day.

You are in good company.