Classiccom,
I have finally gotten past this point now, but I have had to confess my harsh words (oh, if there has ever been an understatement--not proud of it, merely emphasizing it was quite harsh as is your assessment of Pope Pius IX) and thoughts about Pope John XXIII, with multiple relapses and subsequent confessions. I have since resigned to not take the harsh approach that I fear may condemn my soul to hell (speaking as to myself--not passing judgment on you), but rather to pray fervently.
Somebody jump in here and scream liberal N.O. education at me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you are required to believe any apparition since the days original Apostles were still living. Talk to an SSPX priest about your struggles and ask for guidance about what you are obliged to believe in this regard. Again, pray fervently.
If the apparitions have soured you on Catholic devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, please don't "throw the baby out with the bath water."
Please, out of caution for your soul, confess to an SSPX priest. Even if you have done so before (I did so in my situation many times before the relapses subsided), I strongly encourage you to return. All the more reason to give this a chance if you've not previously done so.
May God Bless