CathInfo.com

My, this is serious information, and must be taken seriously.

Pope St. Paul VI The Great, so we've heard is alive and well, and living on the Flat Earth, with the Sun circling around him.  He's in a secret underground base in Antarctica, with Elvis and Cardinal Siri and the real Sister Lucy, until next week and the "America in Eclipse" event.  He's been on a really long sabbatical, hiding away from those lizard folk (the modernists) that Paul Icke was warned us about - more like a vacation sometimes.  So, he's a sede-vacationist more than sede-vacantist.  BTW, he gave his tripe tiara to the UN so that they could put it on his chair, showing that it wasn't really empty.

He's been dealing with a serious issue - there was a hidden defect in his infant baptism that has been mysteriously and mystically (and mythically?) revealed to him.  Now, he fully desires to be a member of the Church (that he's the head of), and has been willing to shed his blood for it for the past 100-200 years, but woe is me.  Everyone thinks he is dead, so he can't get anyone to baptize him, and he can't baptize himself.  But not to worry, that's not really going to be the Moon obscuring the Sun next week (what an insane and heretical idea!) - it's really a huge glob of water.  Don't we all know there's a huge wall water just hanging over us?  It's actually Dark Water - the EENS equivalent of Dark Matter.  Deny Dark Water and your soul is lost!  So, the glob of Dark Water will baptize Paul VI, and all will be well.  Well for Paul VI, but it might well tip the Earth from being Flat to something slightly different, like Eggshell, Matte, or Semi-Gloss - this could attract all the "Dark" in the "Dark Water", ushering in the Three Days of Darkness, slightly inconveniencing the rest of us.

Now I've heard everything.

You know, at some point, Elvis and all the rest will have to be dead OF OLD AGE, IF NOTHING ELSE!
God put a cap on man's life of 120 years. How long would he live as Pope, even if it were possible?

And Paul VI wasn't exactly the "last recognized pope", a great pope, or anything along those lines -- he was the one who ushered in and promulgated the Novus Ordo. Not exactly a hero or "Elias" figure we'd all hope against hope for his return.

When Paul VI comes back from hiding, he'll restore Christendom!  Then Elvis and Tupac will appear, they'll bring racial peace and also save rock and rap!  Don't forget John Denver and John Lennon!  They'll unite the leftist hippies and the nostalgic republican baby boomers.  Oh, I can't wait til this "period of peace". 

Imagine all the people...