The questionnaire was last November. The Vatican has now released the following docuмent, Instrumentum Laboris. It is long, and very sad for a Catholic to read. It details the further destruction of the Catholic Church.
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/synod/docuмents/rc_synod_doc_20140626_instrumentum-laboris-familia_en.html
It is boring to read, much like the docuмents of V2. It gets interesting in section 110:
responses indicate that the recognition in civil law of unions between persons of the same sex largely depends on the socio-cultural, religious and political context. In this regard, the episcopal conferences describe three instances: the first exists when repressive and punitive measures are taken in reaction to the phenomenon of ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity in all its aspects, especially when the public manifestation of ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity is prohibited by civil law. Some responses indicate that, in this context, the Church provides different forms of spiritual care for single, ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ people who seek the Church’s assistance.
111. A second context is one where the phenomenon of ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity is fluid. ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ behavior is not punished, but simply tolerated until it becomes visible or public. In this context, legislation on civil unions between persons of the same sex does not usually exist. In political circles, especially in the West, however, the increasing tendency is to adopt laws providing for registered partnerships or so-called “marriage” between persons of the same sex. People argue non-discrimination to give support to this idea, an approach which is perceived by believers and a good part of the public, in central and eastern Europe, as an imposition by a political and foreign culture.
112. The responses describe a third context, one where States have introduced legislation recognizing civil unions or so-called “marriages” between ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ persons. In some countries, the situation reflects a real redefining of marriage, where the couple is viewed only in legal terms, with such references as “equal rights” and “non-discrimination” without any thought to a constructive dialogue in the matter based on the deeper anthropological issues involved and the centrality of the integral well-being of the human person, especially the integral well-being of the children in these unions. When legal equality is given to heterosɛҳuąƖ and ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ marriage, the State often allows the adoption of children (biological children of either partner or children born through artificial fertilization). Such is the case, particularly in English-speaking countries and central Europe.
An Evaluation of the Particular Churches
113. Every bishops’ conference voiced opposition to “redefining” marriage between a man and a woman through the introduction of legislation permitting a union between two people of the same sex. The episcopal conferences amply demonstrate that they are trying to find a balance between the Church's teaching on the family and a respectful, non-judgmental attitude towards people living in such unions. On the whole, the extreme reactions to these unions, whether compromising or uncompromising, do not seem to have facilitated the development of an effective pastoral programme which is consistent with the Magisterium and compassionate towards the persons concerned.
114. A factor which clearly has an impact on the Church's pastoral care and one which complicates the search for a balanced attitude in this situation is the promotion of a gender ideology. In some places, this ideology tends to exert its influence even at the elementary level, spreading a mentality which, intending to eliminate homophobia, proposes, in fact, to undermine sɛҳuąƖ identity.
115. Episcopal conferences supply a variety of information on unions between persons of the same sex. In countries where legislation exists on civil unions, many of the faithful express themselves in favour of a respectful and non-judgmental attitude towards these people and a ministry which seeks to accept them. This does not mean, however, that the faithful give equal status to heterosɛҳuąƖ marriage and civil unions between persons of the same sex. Some responses and observations voice a concern that the Church’s acceptance of people in such unions could be construed as recognition of their union.
Some Pastoral Guidelines
116. When considering the possibility of a ministry to these people, a distinction must be made between those who have made a personal, and often painful, choice and live that choice discreetly so as not to give scandal to others, and those whose behaviour promotes and actively — often aggressively — calls attention to it. Many conferences emphasize that, due to the fact that these unions are a relatively recent phenomenon, no pastoral programs exist in their regard. Others admit a certain unease at the challenge of accepting these people with a merciful spirit and, at the same time, holding to the moral teaching of the Church, all the while attempting to provide appropriate pastoral care which takes every aspect of the person into consideration. Some responses recommend not using phrases such as “gαy,” “lesbian” or “ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ” to define a person’s identity.
117. Many responses and observations call for theological study in dialogue with the human sciences to develop a multi-faceted look at the phenomenon of ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity. Others recommend collaborating with specific entities, e.g., the Pontifical Academy of the Social Sciences and the Pontifical Academy for Life, in thoroughly examining the anthropological and theological aspects of human sɛҳuąƖity and the sɛҳuąƖ difference between man and woman in order to address the issue of gender ideology.
118. The great challenge will be to develop a ministry which can maintain the proper balance between accepting persons in a spirit of compassion and gradually guiding them to authentic human and Christian maturity. In this regard, some conferences refer to certain organizations as successful models for such a ministry.
119. Sex education in families and educational institutions is an increasingly urgent challenge, especially in countries where the State tends to propose in schools a one-sided view and a gender ideology. Formation programmes ought to be established in schools or parish communities which offer young people an adequate idea of Christian and emotional maturity to allow them to face even the phenomenon of ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity. At the same time, the observations show that there is still no consensus in the Church on the specific way of receiving persons in these unions. The first step would be a slow process of gathering information and distinguishing criteria of discernment for not only ministers and pastoral workers but also groups and ecclesial movements.
The Transmission of the Faith to Children in Same Sex Unions
120. The responses are clearly opposed to legislation which would allow the adoption of children by persons in a same-sex union, because they see a risk to the integral good of the child, who has the right to have a mother and father, as pointed out recently by Pope Francis (cf. Address to Members of the International Catholic Child Bureau (BICE), 11 April 2014 ). However, when people living in such unions request a child’s baptism, almost all the responses emphasize that the child must be received with the same care, tenderness and concern which is given to other children. Many responses indicate that it would be helpful to receive more concrete pastoral directives in these situations. Clearly, the Church has the duty to ascertain the actual elements involved in transmitting the faith to the child. Should a reasonable doubt exist in the capability of persons in a same sex union to instruct the child in the Christian faith, proper support is to be secured in the same manner as for any other couple seeking the baptism of their children. In this regard, other people in their family and social surroundings could also provide assistance. In these cases, the pastor is carefully to oversee the preparation for the possible baptism of the child, with particular attention given to the choice of the godfather and godmother.
Part III
An Openness to Life and Parental Responsibility in Upbringing
Chapter I
The Pastoral Challenges Concerning an Openness to Life
121. In recent decades, basic objections have arisen regarding the subject of a couple’s openness to life, which concerns the innermost qualities and aspects of life. In this regard, substantial differences exist between the Christian idea of life and sɛҳuąƖity and that of a highly secularized society. Pope Paul VI, in publishing the Encyclical Humanae Vitae, was well aware of the difficulties his statements could cause over time. He wrote, for example, in the docuмent: “It is to be anticipated that perhaps not everyone will easily accept this particular teaching. An intensive, clamorous outcry is being raised against the voice of the Church which is made more intense by the today’s means of communication. But it comes as no surprise to the Church that she, no less than her divine Founder, is destined to be a ‘sign of contradiction’ (Lk 2:34). She does not, because of this, evade the duty imposed on her of proclaiming humbly but firmly the entire moral law, both natural and evangelical” (HV, 18).
122. The Encyclical Humanae Vitae certainly had a prophetic character in reiterating the unbreakable link between conjugal love and the transmission of life. The Church is called to proclaim the fruitfulness of love in light of that faith which “helps us grasp in all its depth and richness the begetting of children, as a sign of the love of the Creator who entrusts us with the mystery of a new person” (LF, 52). Many of the difficulties highlighted in the responses and observations reveal the agonizing situation of people today when faced with the subjects of love, the generation of life, the reciprocity between man and woman and fatherhood and motherhood.
Knowledge and Acceptance of the Magisterium concerning an Openness to Life
123. When treating a couple’s openness to life and their knowledge of the Church’s teaching, with particular reference to Humanae Vitae, the responses clearly admit that, in the vast majority of cases, the positive aspects are unknown. Those who claim to know the Church’s teaching belong, for the most part, to associations and Church groups actively involved in parishes or programmes of spirituality for the family. A vast majority of responses emphasize how the moral evaluation of the different methods of birth control is commonly perceived today as an intrusion in the intimate life of the couple and an encroachment on the autonomy of conscience. Clearly, believers hold different positions and have diverse attitudes on this subject, depending on the different parts of the world where they live and their local surroundings, including those who find themselves immersed in highly secularized and technically advanced cultures and those who live a simpler life in rural areas. Many responses recommend that for many Catholics the concept of “responsible parenthood” encompasses the shared responsibility in conscience to choose the most appropriate method of birth control, according to a set of criteria ranging from effectiveness to physical tolerance and passing to a real ability to be practiced.
124. Reference is made above all in the observations to the struggle to understand the distinction among the natural methods of regulating fertility and contraception. Much of the time, the difference is generally translated by the media in terms of “natural” and “unnatural” contraceptive methods. Consequently, it is understandable why people mistakenly think that such a distinction is a pretext and why the “natural” methods of birth control are considered simply ineffective and impractical. Natural methods for fertility regulation are not natural “techniques” applied to solve a problem. Instead, they show a respect for “human ecology” and the dignity of the sɛҳuąƖ relationship between husband and wife. They are part of a vision of conjugal life which is open to life. On this rests the difference in contraceptive methods and the experience which shows the effectiveness of their use.
125. The responses and observations reveal a deep understanding of the difference between “abortive” and “non-abortive” contraceptive methods, which is often used as a criterion in judging the moral integrity of the different methods. Moreover, some responses and above all different observations point out the difficulties associated with the prevention of HIV / AIDS, which is a grave problem in some parts of the world, where the disease is widespread. In this regard, many feel the Church's position needs to be explained better, especially considering certain distortions in the media. Compliance with an outlook which takes the person and relationships into consideration seems to require that the question should not be limited exclusively to the technical aspects, but rather provide assistance in the dramatic situations which characterize the lives of a countless number of people. In this way, the Church becomes a promoter of a way of living which is truly human, in the often arduous, real-life situations of a couple who deserve proper care and genuine respect.
Some Causes of Difficulty in Acceptance
126. All responses tend to emphasize that the difficulty in accepting the Church’s teaching on the fruitful love between a man and a woman is related to the large gap between the Church’s teaching and civil education, especially in places in the world where secularization is very strong. The responses from episcopal conferences mainly place the emphasis on a basic difference in anthropology. The responses indicate great difficulties in the inability to express adequately the relationship between Christian anthropology and the meaning of the natural regulation of fertility. Reducing the problem to a case study is not helpful in promoting a broad understanding of Christian anthropology. Oftentimes, the Church's teaching is summarily dismissed as backward by the prevailing mentality, without taking into account its reasoning and conception of the human being and human life.
127. Some responses see a relation between the commonly-held contraception mentality and a pervasive gender ideology which tends to change some basic aspects of anthropology, including the meaning of the body and the difference between the sexes which is replaced with the idea of gender orientation to the point of subverting sɛҳuąƖ identity. In this regard, many responses see a need to go beyond simply condemning this ever-pervasive ideology and to respond with persuasive argumentation against this position, now widely spreading in many western societies. In this way, the Church’s position on the subject of fatherhood and motherhood will be a strong voice in the anthropological change which some very influential persons are promoting. The response, therefore, cannot be only on the issue of contraception or natural methods, but should be placed at the level of the decisive human experience of love, discovering the intrinsic value of the difference that marks human life and its fruitfulness.
Pastoral Recommendations
128. From the pastoral point of view, the responses, in very many cases, see the need to make better known what was stated in Humanae Vitae and to propose a coherent anthropological vision in revitalized language, not only in pre-marriage preparation but also in instructional courses on love in general. Some responses suggest that the presentation of the methods of the natural regulation of fertility be done in collaboration with well-qualified people from both the field of medicine and the parish. For this purpose, the responses insist on collaboration with academic institutions engaged in study and research on these methods and in the promotion of a more ecologically-minded approach to human living. Similarly, the responses suggest including the subject in the seminary formation of future priests, given that priests are sometimes unprepared to deal with these issues and sometimes provide inexact and misleading information.
Concerning Sacramental Practice
129. Sacramental practice, in particular the celebration of the Sacrament of Penance and participation in the Holy Eucharist are included in the pastoral treatment of the subject of openness to life. In this regard, almost all the responses mention that, in areas strongly influenced by secularization, couples generally do not consider the use of contraceptive methods to be a sin. As a result, they tend not to consider it a matter for confession or a problem in approaching the Eucharist. On the other hand, the responses stress that the faithful are well aware that abortion is a very serious sin and always a matter for confession. Some responses mention that nowadays a Christian couple’s “examination of conscience” concentrates more on their relationship (infidelity, lack of love) and less on the aspects of openness to life, thereby confirming the often-seen weakness in understanding the relation between the gift of oneself to another in faithfulness and the procreation of life. The responses also demonstrate the diversity in pastoral practice among the clergy in reference to this subject, including those who show understanding and support and others who are either very rigid or entirely permissive. The situation indicates the necessity to reconsider these aspects of pastoral care in the formation of clerics.
Promoting a Mentality of an Openness to Life
130. In some parts of the world, a contraceptive mentality and the diffusion of an individualistic anthropological model are causing a sharp decline in population whose social and human consequences are not being adequately taken into account. Policies leading to a decline in the birth rate are having an effect on the quality of marital relationships and relationships between generations. Therefore, in her pastoral programmes, the Church needs to reflect on how to encourage a mentality which is more open to life.
131. Many responses and observations point to the connection between an openness to life and social issues and work. Encouraging married couples to have children intrinsically depends on circuмstances which allows them, with a sense of freedom, responsibility and serenity, to choose to procreate and bring up children. In this regard, childcare, flexible working hours, parental leave and an easiness at integrating raising a family into a work situation appear to be essential. Christians, therefore, share a responsibility in promoting legislation and structures which foster a positive approach towards birth. From a purely pastoral point of view, the responses highlight the usefulness of providing family counselors in dioceses and associations dedicated to caring for the family, who can thereby bear witness to the beauty and the value of a couple’s openness to life. The responses recommend that the synod can be of assistance in rediscovering the deep anthropological meaning of the moral character of conjugal life, which beyond every type of moralism, appears as a true desire to live the beauty demanded by the Christian love between a man and a woman and given value by considering the greatest act of love which comes from laying down one’s life for a friend (cf. Jn 15:13). Many responses recommend rediscovering the meaning of conjugal chastity as part of the authentic character of a love-experience.
Chapter II
The Church and the Family facing the Challenge of Upbringing
a) The Challenge of Upbringing in General
The Challenge of Upbringing and the Family Today
132. The challenges a family faces in upbringing children are manifold, often making parents feel unprepared for the task. Recent Church Magisterium has stressed the importance of raising children and the special grace given to parents in their marriage to assist them in accomplishing this responsibility. The responses and observations emphasize that the upbringing of children must be totally integrated, prompting the great question of truth which can serve as a guide in the journey of life (cf. Benedict XVI, Address to the Participants in the Plenary Meeting of the Congregation for Catholic Education [for Seminaries and Educational Institutions], 21 January 2008), and insist that education finds its origin in love from the very instant a child is welcomed by his parents (cf. Benedict XVI, Presentation to the Diocese of Rome of the “Letter on the Urgent Task of Education”, 23 February 2008). The upbringing of children, consisting in a total and complete introduction to all aspects of life, particularly living in society, is the primary responsibility of parents, which the State must respect, protect and promote (GE, 3; FC, 37). Pope Francis stressed the importance of the transmission of the faith: “Parents are called, as Saint Augustine once said, not only to bring children into the world but also to bring them to God, so that through baptism they can be reborn as children of God and receive the gift of faith” (LF, 43).
The Transmission of the Faith and Christian Initiation
133. In her pastoral activity, the Church is called to assist families in the upbringing of children, beginning with Christian initiation. Catechesis and formation in the parish are an indispensable means of assisting the family in educating, particularly during preparation for Baptism, Confirmation and the Eucharist. Alongside the family and the parish, the responses emphasize the effectiveness of the testimony rendered by spiritual movements on behalf of the family and lay groups. Within these ecclesial entities, a “ministry of the couple” increasingly seems to be developing, where those responsible for formation in families contribute to the growth of the domestic Church through personal encounters and meetings of families and, above all, through prayer.
134. Christian education in the family is first achieved when children see their parents witness to the faith. Some of the responses point out that the method of transmitting the faith does not change with time but is dictated by circuмstances, namely, the actions in a couple’s sanctification; personal prayer and times for prayer in families; listening to the Word of God; and the witness of charity. Following this way of life ensures the transmission of the faith, even if children are subjected to forces to the contrary.
Some Specific Difficulties
135. In many countries, the challenge of a Christian upbringing and the transmission of faith is often characterized by a significant change in relations between generations, which affects the communication of values within the family. In the past, these relations were the basis of a life of faith which was shared and communicated as a heritage from one generation to the other. Every bishops’ conference response and many observations reveal profound changes affecting the educational task of the family, despite the obvious differentiation of traditional elements still present in society, where the family lives or developments, and the effects of secularization. Bishops in western Europe recall the powerful generational conflict which seemed to have taken place in the sixties and seventies of the last century. Today, perhaps conditioned by those experiences, parents appear overly cautious in applying any pressure on their children in religious practice. Precisely in this regard, they seek to avoid any type of conflict instead of dealing with it. In addition, when the subject of religion is raised, these same parents often feel insecure and, instead of passing on the faith, they often remain silent and relegate their task, even if considered important, to religious institutions. This seems to demonstrate a weakness among adults, especially young parents, in transmitting the gift of faith with a spirit of joy and conviction.
136. The responses point out how Catholic schools, at all levels, can play an important part in transmitting the faith to young people and be of great assistance to parents in fulfilling their role in upbringing their children. The responses, therefore, recommend that Catholic schools be fostered and supported by the entire ecclesial community. Such is the case especially where the State is overly intrusive in the educational process, seeking to usurp the family’s responsibility. In this regard, Catholic schools express the idea of freedom in education and reassert the primacy of the family as the true subject in the educational process, to which others involved in education must contribute. The task of education requires a greater collaboration among families, schools and Christian communities.
137. Bishops from the Middle East mention that the task of the family in the transmission of the faith and Catholic upbringing is even more important in places where Christians are a minority. Responses from the countries of eastern Europe recount a painful experience. Older generations, having lived under a socialist regime, received the basics of the Christian faith before the advent of socialism, while the younger generation has been raised in a post-Communist climate highly influenced by secularization, which has had a negative effect on the transmission of the faith. Even though this is true, younger generations are especially affected by the example and witness of their parents. In general, families participating in ecclesial movements are the most active in seeking to transmit the faith to newer generations. Some responses indicate a certain paradox in faith-education, namely, in various ecclesial entities parents are not the ones who transmit the faith to their children, but vice versa, children, embracing the faith, communicate the faith to their parents, who have long abandoned religious practice.
b) Christian Education in Difficult Family Situations
138. Recognizing that the transmission of the faith and Christian upbringing are inseparable from an authentic witness of life, provides a basis for understanding how difficult situations within the family complicate the educational process. In this sense, those families with children who may be particularly affected by the so-called “irregular” situation of their parents deserve greater pastoral attention in Christian education. In this regard, words and expressions need to be used which create a sense of belonging and not exclusion, ones that can better convey the warmth, love and the support of the Church, so as not to generate, especially in the children and young people involved, the idea of rejection or discrimination against their parents, fully aware that “irregular” is a word applied to situations, not persons.
An Overview of the Situation of Upbringing
139. An overview of the present situation is quite complex and changeable. In some regions where the Catholic faith continues to be professed by a high percentage of people, the number of children born and raised in “regular” families is in sharp decline. In other regions the particular Churches must face different challenges of upbringing, because cohabitation outside of marriage, ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity or civil unions are not permitted. The Church, nevertheless, must attend, in varying degrees, to these difficult or irregular situations now almost everywhere. This phenomenon is on the rise, even in places having a significant number of “regular” situations of families with two parents who were married in Church.
140. The responses refer to three elements on the subject of irregular situations and their impact on the upbringing of children. Firstly, unions between persons of the same sex, clearly limited for the moment to more “liberal and progressive” countries, does not require specific action in pastoral care, other than some pastoral guidelines already mentioned at the end of Part II. Secondly, consideration needs to be given to the actual existence and growth of single parent households, often comprised of single mothers with small children, who live in poverty. This phenomenon poses a pastoral challenge, particularly for the Churches of Latin America and Asia where, not infrequently, these mothers are forced to entrust the upbringing of their children to other members of their family. Thirdly, of great importance in the southern hemisphere is the phenomenon of “street children,” who are left by troubled parents to fend for themselves, and children, orphaned by the violent death of their parents, who are sometimes entrusted to their grandparents.
Requests Addressed to the Church
141. Generally speaking, the responses mention that parents in irregular situations come to the Church with a variety of attitudes, depending on their feelings and motivations. Some approach the Church with a great deal of respect and trust, while others, instead, display a negative attitude, because of the shame felt by the choices they made, and hesitate to approach the Church for fear of being rejected or marginalized. Others believe that the ecclesial community will understand and accept them graciously, despite their failures and difficulties, while others, instead, see the Church as an institution overly intrusive in people’s lives. Still others are convinced that the Church is a kind of guardian who must guarantee education and support but not make too many demands.
142. Parents in these irregular situations in life most commonly have recourse to the particular Churches to request the administration of the sacraments to their children, especially Baptism and First Communion, with a clear difficulty, however, of not giving due importance and genuine value to religious education and participation in parish life. Many know that catechesis is a prerequisite for receiving the sacraments; but even more, they feel that the occasion is an obligation, a formality or a compromise to be accepted, if the child is to receive what is requested. The responses point out that parents frequently display a reluctance and disinterest in preparation programmes proposed by the Christian community, often resulting in their avoiding, if they can, participating in the events planned for both them and their children. They use time and work as an excuse, when, in reality, it is a matter of a lack of caring and coming up with an easier or faster solution. Sometimes, they even react negatively to the requests of the catechists. In other cases, their indifference is clearly evident in their continued passivity to any initiative and their lack of involvement in the religious education of their child.
143. An analysis of this information indicates that many of these parents, and likewise a good portion of Catholic parents in “regular” marriage situations, ask the Sacraments of Initiation for their children out of habit and simply to follow social custom. For many, the sacrament is a festive occasion which they request more out of conformity to family traditions than out of conviction. Nevertheless, other parents exist who sincerely desire to transmit the faith to their children, and, for this purpose, rely on the formation programmes which the parish offers in preparation for the administration of the sacraments. Sometimes, they themselves request assistance in remedying delicate situations. They also show a willingness to embark on a genuine spiritual journey and wish to participate actively in the life of the Church through their involvement in the child’s catechetical and sacramental programmes. In rare cases, parents genuinely rediscover their faith, sometimes even arriving at the point of requesting marriage after years of living together.
144. The responses also mentioned other requests which parents in irregular situations make of the Church. In certain cultures, parents might ask for the sacraments for their children because of superstition or to avoid their remaining unbaptized and without a religion. In other circuмstances, they have recourse to their local priests simply to receive financial and educational support. Generally speaking, the number of requests for Confirmation for children is decreasing, especially in highly secularized countries. People increasingly have the idea of allowing their child the freedom and responsibility to decide when to begin a programme of initiation into the Christian life. Difficulties arise when divorced parents are in disagreement on the Christian initiation of their child. In these cases, the Church is called to play an important mediating role through understanding and dialogue.
145. On the question of the teaching of the Catholic religion, the responses and observations distinguish two situations. On the one hand, a request can be made to take advantage of the teaching of the Catholic religion in schools, beyond the catechesis supplied in a parish. In general, many parents, even those in irregular situations, choose this option. Particularly in Europe, many of these requests come from persons who are non-Catholic or non-baptized. Over the past few years, in some parts of Europe, the number of those who endorse teaching the Catholic religion in public schools has increased. On the other hand, some basic scholastic programmes (e.g. in Australia), offer the possibility of a good education in the faith and religious instruction. In these cases, many parents in irregular situations, at the baptism of their child, easily make use of the opportunity to attend the Christian formation programmes offered by these same schools in preparation for the reception of the sacraments without having to take part in the catechetical programme in the parish. Still another reality on all continents is the existence and activity of Catholic schools and Catholic colleges, in which the children of parents in irregular situations can enroll without any distinction being made. In fact, these parents appear willingly to have recourse to them, mainly because they know that they will receive support and collaboration in their work of educating their children. In Africa, Catholic schools are important places for the Christian education of children. The question of teaching the Catholic religion in a programme of faith-education is barely treated in the responses. Attempts for a greater collaboration among parish catechesis, scholastic activity and religious instruction seem to deserve attention and encouragement, especially where the teaching of the Catholic religion is only treated academically.
The Response of the Particular Churches
146. The particular Churches are called upon to assist families, and with them, persons in irregular situations. When parents, usually after an absence from the Church for some time, request from the ecclesial community the sacramental preparation of their children, the most recommended approach in all the responses is to readily accept them without making any distinctions. Receiving them with a basic attitude of respect, a friendly disposition and a willingness to listen to their human and spiritual needs creates a proper and beneficial atmosphere for communicating the Gospel message. The important and effective ecclesial experiences aimed at assisting parents along the way include: catechesis in the family and community; the ecclesial movements in support of the pastoral care of married couples; Sunday Masses; family visits; prayer groups; popular missions; the activities of basic Christian communities; groups of bible study; the pastoral activities of ecclesial movements; and Christian education offered to the parents of children and teens who attend numerous colleges and centers of Catholic education, especially in Latin America. Many times the children are the ones who evangelize their parents.
147. Despite what has been said, quite a few responses indicate that the Church’s pastoral care does not always adequately address the specific problems existent in family life. To meet this need, pastoral action requires renewed efforts, creativity and joy to be more effective and proactive in creating an intrinsic relationship among the formation of children, the faith-formation of parents and community life. In response, new initiatives are being enacted, including opportunities for formation in prayer and retreats, intended for parents and often taking place simultaneously with their children’s catechesis in preparation for the sacraments; “schools for parents”; catechetical programs on sɛҳuąƖ morality and moral issues related to the family; and providing the opportunity for many couples to be married during the same ceremony (mass marriage) to resolve financial difficulties, which, at times, delay and discourage a couple’s seeking marriage, as cited by the bishops of Nigeria and South Africa. Some argue, however, that these initiatives are not fully developed.
148. Responses to the questions indicate that if, on the one hand, support for parents depends on their willingness to become involved and be guided, their pastoral care arises mainly from a sense of responsibility and concern by the local priest and his ability to engage as much as possible the entire parish community. In parishes in Germany, for example, a group of catechists oversees children as well as parents throughout the catechetical process. Implementing a customized approach to pastoral care seems more difficult in big cities. In each case, the challenge is finding possible ways of attentively approaching these sisters and brothers in order to follow them, listen to them, help them express the questions which are a concern to them and propose an itinerary leading to a reawakening of a desire to deepen their relationship with the Lord Jesus through genuine communal ties. This would motivate already-existing initiatives, such as the one promoted by some episcopal conferences in South America which supplies and offers formation-aid to assist parents in the education of their children.
149. Particular Churches are well aware that children or young people are not to blame for the choices and living situation of their parents. Consequently, children are welcome everywhere, without distinction with respect to others and with the same love and attention. The Christian formation offered to them is no different from the initiatives in catechesis and pastoral activities intended for the other children in the community, namely: catechesis; schools of prayer; introduction to the liturgy; associations, especially the Missionary Childhood Association in Latin America; biblical acting schools and church choirs; parochial schools and camps; and youth groups. Special programmes to assist children in healing their wounds and working through their problems appear lacking. Consequently, the responses hope for the promotion of programmes on their behalf and support groups, especially in the difficult period of the separation and divorce of their parents, when they must be able to continue to hope in family relationships, despite the fact that their parents separate. In a diocese in northern Europe, where the number of children of divorced parents is very high, some pastors, to deal with these family problems and the strain on the children who on weekends cannot always attend the catechesis classes, are scheduling catechesis on alternate weekends, so that children can always participate without feeling different.
150. In addition to parishes, associations and movements, valuable assistance is provided these parents and their children by the apostolic activity of religious institutes of women, above all in situations of extreme poverty, religious intolerance or the exploitation of women. The work of the Propagation of the Faith contributes to the education and Christian formation of children, including those with parents in irregular situations, through ordinary and