Author Topic: Marriage question from a newbie (Read 1233 times)

ThomasAugustine · « **on:** May 15, 2010, 06:42:19 PM »

(Removed at poster's request)

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #1 on:** May 15, 2010, 07:16:18 PM »

I am sure comments/advice will flow, but for now...

Welcome to the site! Godspeed to you and yours :)

Raoul76 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 15, 2010, 10:13:14 PM »

That is a tough one, and could be handled better by a priest. I'll try to ask my priest tomorrow if I see him after Mass. Offhand I'd say you're still married as far as the Church sees it, as long as you're married according to civil law, as long as the state recognizes the marriage. But I am far from the expert on this question.

I am well aware of the feelings of loss and desolation you are probably going through, although I was never married. But I can tell you that my emotional pain was not mitigated much by the fact that I was living in sin or happened to have deserved the punishment I got! It felt real enough at the time.

Welcome to the site, and great name. If I had a kid now I know what I'd call him.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #3 on:** May 16, 2010, 08:23:26 PM »

I used to be curious about civil marriages because I was praying and hoping for the coversion of some married non-catholics.
I searched the web and got the answer that if the couples don't have some especific qualities needed for a vaild marriage, it will be an invalid one.
In a civil non-catholic marriage, the promise to be 'always together till death' is abscent, usually the both parties know that they can (and may) get a divorce if things go wrong.
I wonder if it can nulify?

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #4 on:** May 16, 2010, 09:39:34 PM »

In a way, it is quite understandable that people are, perhaps, seeking more intensely to find a spouse -- as the prospect of facing the coming storm more or less alone is not exactly pretty and many who see this or that about the present turmoil are often the only ones within their family circle that do, in fact, see. That said, I know exactly what you mean, as it is impossible to acquire/maintain stability (at least as we have come to think of it) when the world itself is coming unglued. In the end, each of us must do as seems best, according to our own lights and circuмstances. We are all equally in the hands of the Almighty, come what may.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #5 on:** May 16, 2010, 10:05:50 PM »

If the coming chastisment is a kind of war, then an old father is better than a young and vigorous husband who might be sent to the front and leave you a widow with 3 orphans to care for.
But if it is mostly in the moral and spiritual realm, then surely a husband is better. You know, fathers are sometimes so desirous of your success that they feel no scruple in sending you to any place when success is guaranteed no matter how evil it might be.
But a husband is usually jealous (in the positive sense) and loves virtue more than progress in a wife. He is a better protector than a father in Spiritual trumoils.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #6 on:** May 16, 2010, 10:17:30 PM »

Quote from: spouse of Jesus

If the coming chastisment is a kind of war, then an old father is better than a young and vigorous husband who might be sent to the front and leave you a widow with 3 orphans to care for.
But if it is mostly in the moral and spiritual realm, then surely a husband is better. You know, fathers are sometimes so desirous of your success that they feel no scruple in sending you to any place when success is guaranteed no matter how evil it might be.
But a husband is usually jealous (in the positive sense) and loves virtue more than progress in a wife. He is a better protector than a father in Spiritual trumoils.

Yes, ambition in a father for his children is very dangerous.

Of course, the opposite is bad as well. The middle course is hard to find.

Caminus · « **Reply #7 on:** May 16, 2010, 10:33:34 PM »

God blessed you with a very special grace. Not many have found their way to traditional Catholicism. It is a great sign of election. I pray you make your election certain by advancing in true spiritual progress. I would advise you to stay away from delving into current controversies and especially from self-professing internet theologians touting websites that contain serious errors. If you stick to the two men who you have chosen for a screen name, you will do well. Read more spiritual works than dogmatic, though the latter is the foundation of the former. And remember that finding traditional Catholicism is just the beginning of the spiritual life. Many Catholics think it is the end and wallow in their imperfections and sin, never making any real progress.

Regarding your marriage, I assume that neither of you were baptized at the time?

Ladislaus · « **Reply #8 on:** May 17, 2010, 07:51:43 PM »

Quote from: Caminus

I would advise you to stay away from delving into current controversies and especially from self-professing internet theologians ...

I would second that advice, so you'll probably want to put Caminus on ignore. :roll-laugh1: