well i just found a new freedom,but it does have a great price REALITY, living in this mortal coil i have had a interesting life,and it is getting better!
for me symbols have meaning and it is ironic what this little apple on the front of my laptop i think by NO accident represents "tree of knowlage"
((my spelling and grammer is not to good) and it is fasinating  what one can learn?
so having felt that i was doomed to hell and all that stuff,i said this faith sucks and i split and went in a search for truth.i studied 15 hours a day everyday,drove my girlfriend crazy.
on this adventure i found out about crop circles,then i looked up in the sky and said "this cannot be the only live in the galaxy"
for me after looking at the interesting crop image of a human buterfly/angle in the netherlands was so exciting.this thing is incredible and if it was done by a bunch of drunk guys in a night,then i am missing something.
so with that i look at what the church said about life outside of our planet.seems the church say ok possible and also that they are in no need of a savior? (so the morman can try to convert them?

but the church has nothing to say about the crop circles? perhaps in time?
one thing i did was  :tv-disturbed: turn off the TV and no HULU.it is a distraction and i don't care about sports,and i stopped reading the newspaper. i focused on educating myself.
so much info and my brain is so hungry.
during this and to this point in time i have been fortunate to see threw the unending lies that are EVERYWHERE.
you need to understand at this time i am in what you call "crisis of faith"and desperate for answers.i looked at eastern religions BORING thou they have some pretty cool ways of looking at things.
i read information that was so hellish i was sick in bed and ,once rushed to the hospitial and had emergancy surgery,to have my apendix removed.it was not any fun at all.
now during this i started to pick up on an underlining theme about being free to do what i want and not have any relgion tell me what or how to live my life?! sounded great i like that!! so i headed in that direction FREEDOM to do what i want!!
well the trail took me to the last place i wanted to go :devil2: without realizing it.
this satanism is EVERYWHERE and i was falling into it.
i have been a fan of Jordon Maxwell for so long and hung on his every word. and he said things that fingerd the church as the evil empire,and i almost bought into his agenda,but at this time ,and like now i am very carful in what i believe.
for some reason i felt the interest to find out who this Alexer Crowley  :devil2:was  WOW this evil is soo real!!! what he did is so everywhere in our world. and i was into it during my youth and a good part of my adult life without realizing it :headbanger:
so much focus on the distruction of the church. :devil2:could care less about anything ease.
 today is the first time i have been able to interpit  :detective:what i understand into words.and to my disapointment i for that a sight that might be a place to express myself is run by  :devil2: REALLY FISHYEATTING PLACE site.
and so many go there,and are so blind :smash-pc:.
the owner of the sight says what she is and calls Pope Leo 13th a liar,not out right but if you understand and interpit her loony dribble, then on her page admits to cult activity practices.and to make a place to foster bigotry,hate so sad it makes me sick.
at this moment i am in very  :light-saber: spiritual warfare  :boxer: NO JOKE!!
i am coming to understand the dichotomy in everything and everywhere.
my life is very black and white,i am a type that hates lies,and secrets.and i never found magic as a good thing.
i for the life of me cannot understand liars,or the love of money,i have had it and it is a pain.now that i am poor and barley get by is a sense of peace? i am flat broke and never been happier?!

so life in the rabbit hole is wonderland without a doubt.

for me i had to understand that hope is real and not just a word,i never would want anyone to walk threw that.

well i am getting tired so i hope this makes sense to someone?

jmj px