Dear Marcelino,

You are a simple layman, you are simply following without questions what your priests taught you, and that is noble.

However, for this subject of Baptism of desire (BOD), it is crucial for Catholics to understand it correctly, or they will cease to be a light to the salvation of non-Catholics. And indeed that is what has happened to all conciliar Catholics from the pope to the simplest laymen, they have lost their savour.

 "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt lose its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is good for nothing any more but to be cast out, and to be trodden on by men"(Mat 5:13)

And here is a better example of what I am going to expound on here:

Orestes Brownson 1874:
"There can be no more fatal mistake than to soften, liberalize or latitudinize this terrible dogma, "Out of the Church there is no salvation...  If we wish to convert Protestants and infidels we must preach in all its rigor the naked dogma.  Give them the smallest peg or what appears so, not to you, but to them;--- the smallest peg on which to hang a hope of salvation without being in or actually reconciled to the Church by the sacrament of Penance, and all the arguments you can address to them to prove the necessity of being in the Church in order to be saved will have no more effect on them than rain on a duck's back."

The "Baptism of Desire" (BOD) of the 20th Century, Is Not the BOD of All the Previous Centuries. It is a Novelty.

The traditional theory of baptism of desire is as defined in the Catechism of Trent:

Catechism of the Council of Trent, Ordinarily They Are Not Baptized At Once, p. 179: “On adults, however, the Church has not been accustomed to confer the Sacrament of Baptism at once, but has ordained that it be deferred for a certain time.  The delay is not attended with the same danger as in the case of infants, which we have already mentioned; should any unforeseen accident make it impossible for adults to be washed in the salutary waters, their intention and determination to receive Baptism and their repentance for past sins, will avail them to grace and righteousness.”

And

St. Alphonsus Ligouri, who believed this theory, taught that all others are lost. ( pardon the large amount of quotes, but, I wanted to show that it was not just one isolated statement):

St. Alphonsus: “See also the special love which God has shown you in bringing you into life in a Christian country, and in the bosom of the Catholic or true Church. How many are born among the pagans, among the Jєωs, among the Mohometans and heretics, and all are lost.” (Sermons of St. Alphonsus Liguori, Tan Books, 1982, p. 219)

St. Alphonsus: “If you are ignorant of the truths of the faith, you are obliged to learn them. Every Christian is bound to learn the Creed, the Our Father, and the Hail Mary under pain of mortal sin. Many have no idea of the Most Holy Trinity, the Incarnation, mortal sin, Judgment, Paradise, Hell, or Eternity; and this deplorable ignorance damns them.” (Michael Malone, The Apostolic Digest, p. 159.)

O ye atheists who do not believe in God, what fools you are! But if you do believe there is a God, you must also believe there is a true religion. And if not the Roman Catholic, which is it? Perhaps that of the pagans who admit many gods, thus they deny them all. Perhaps that of Mohammed, a religion invented by an impostor and framed for beasts rather than humans. Perhaps that of the Jєωs who had the true faith at one time but, because they rejected their redeemer, lost their faith, their country, their everything. Perhaps that of the heretics who, separating themselves from our Church, have confused all revealed dogmas in such a way that the belief of one heretic is contrary to that of his neighbor. O holy faith! Enlighten all those poor blind creatures who run to eternal perdition! (St. Alphonsus Liguori)

St. Alphonsus: “We must believe that the Roman Catholic Church is the only true Church; hence, they who are out of our Church, or if they are separated from it, cannot be saved.” (Saint Alphonsus Marie De Liguori, Instructions On The Commandments And Sacraments, G. P. Warren Co., 1846. Trans. Fr. P. M’Auley, Dublin, p. 57.)

St. Alphonsus: “How thankful we ought to be to Jesus Christ for the gift of faith! What would have become of us if we had been born in Asia, Africa, America, or in the midst of heretics and schismatics? He who does not believe is lost. This, then, was the first and greatest grace bestowed on us: our calling to the true faith. O Savior of the world, what would become of us if Thou hadst not enlightened us? We would have been like our fathers of old, who adored animals and blocks of stone and wood: and thus we would have all perished.” (Saint Alphonsus Maria De Liguori, Preparation for Death, unabridged version, p. 339.)

In the great deluge in the days of Noah, all mankind perished, eight persons alone being saved in the Ark. In our days a deluge, not of water, but sins, continually inundates the earth, and out of this deluge very few escape. Scarcely anyone is saved. ( St. Alphonsus Liguori)

Notice the striking separation, the "iron curtain", between the person who explicitly desires to be a Catholic, and all other non-Catholics! St. Alphonsus Ligouri was just teaching what he had learned from St. Thomas Aquinas, and indeed that was THE definition of baptism of desire taught in catechisms for 19 centuries.

A Change In the 20th Century

In the 20th century, there was a dangerous subtle change in the teaching of BOD. You will see it in Spirago- Clarke Catechism, and many others, the change is reflected in these comments by recent times bishops:

“Evidently, certain distinctions must be made.  Souls can be saved in a religion other than the Catholic religion (Protestantism, Islam, Buddhism, etc.), but not by this religion.  There may be souls who, not knowing Our Lord, have by the grace of the good Lord, good interior dispositions, who submit to God...But some of these persons make an act of love which implicitly is equivalent to baptism of desire.  It is uniquely by this means that they are able to be saved.”

“It is necessary to understand the formulation that was so often employed by the Fathers of the Church:  ‘Outside the Church there is no salvation.’  When we say that, it is incorrectly believed that we think that all the Protestants, all the Moslems, all the Buddhists, all those who do not publicly belong to the Catholic Church go to hell.  Now, I repeat, it is possible for someone to be saved in these religions, but they are saved by the Church, ”

The change is what is dangerous

That new definition of baptism of desire that saves those THAT ARE outside of the Church, who have no absolutely no desire to be Catholics(!!!!!!), That is the problem. If I could convince the traditionalists on Cathinfo to understand that they been slow boiled (they don't even realize it) to accept a novelty, then I will have accomplished my purpose in defending EENS as it is written.

Bottom Line

If you want to believe/teach as the Catechism of Trent teaches that "should any unforeseen accident make it impossible for adults to be washed in the salutary waters, their intention and determination to receive Baptism and their repentance for past sins, will avail them to grace and righteousness,”
so be it, no big deal to me. That will not give non-Catholics "a peg on which to hang a hope of salvation without being in or actually reconciled to the Church by the sacrament of Baptism and Penance".

However, if any of you persist in teaching otherwise than St. Alphonsus Ligouri, know that you are in peril yourselves of incur the wrath of God for your fatal mistake of softening, liberalizing or latitudinizing this terrible dogma, "Out of the Church there is no salvation.

 The reason why I write against the teaching that non-Catholics can be saved outside of the Church, is because it always ends in the hearer believing that they can be saved outside of the Church. I believe in EENS as it is written, therefore, I believe that teaching otherwise is sending people to hell, for the non-Catholic is oblivious to the fact that if they die outside of the Church, they will without a doubt go to eternal perdition.
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P.S.

So, what is worse to teach to non-Catholics? :

(A) Teaching EENS as it is written and "Pope Paul III, The Council of Trent, Sess. 7, Can. 5 on the Sacrament of Baptism, ex cathedra: “If anyone says that baptism [the Sacrament] is optional, that is, not necessary for salvation (cf. Jn. 3:5): let him be anathema.”

(B) or teaching that - “Evidently, certain distinctions must be made.  Souls can be saved in a religion other than the Catholic religion (Protestantism, Islam, Buddhism, etc.), but not by this religion.  There may be souls who, not knowing Our Lord, have by the grace of the good Lord, good interior dispositions, who submit to God...But some of these persons make an act of love which implicitly is equivalent to baptism of desire.  It is uniquely by this means that they are able to be saved.”

Neither has as yet been condemned by the Church, they have not been declared heresy. But which is more harmful for non-Catholics to hear?