Jude,
If you wanted optimism from me, you came to the wrong place!
Unless you know of some diocesan paradise, I'm not aware of, 98% of all parish Novus Ordo Masses I've attended are of the lame variety. Some egregious mix of the following: EM's, girl altar boys, lame songs, folk songs, rock songs, congregation dressing like slobs and. or promiscuously, CITH (people nonchalantly zipping the Host in their mouth and scampering off), sign of peace, faithful outstretching their hands like priests during certain prayers, holding hands during Our Father, etc etc.
I've actually only been to two different Novus Ordo locations in my life that I can say were very reverently done. I've been to many parishes where the priests were personally orthodox, but the congregation still dressed like bums and the priests seemingly gave in or had no control over the lame music.
Even if you are an orthodox priest in the N.O. you are basically held hostage. The laity at these parishes have entrenched power that they will not give up easily. They have their "parish board", all sorts of crazy groups and committees so they feel "involved". Liberals are a lot of times in charge of CCD so the religious ed is shot. If a priest really wants to make a change in a lot of these places, he would literally have to clean house and face a furious backlash and excoriation.
Then the complaints would flood the Bishop's office and we all know how that goes. Most Bishops just want "peace" at all costs and will tell the priest to chill out and knock it off. After all, I suppose that upset parishoners equal less money.
So what you usually have is the priest little by little trying to make gradual changes over time. If he is successful at all, the process takes forever and the faithful get a few new crumbs every year. It is simply demoralizing.
I see you lived in Houston. I'm sorry. That Archdiocese is one of the worst I've seen and I see absolutely no desire on the part of the hierarchy or priests there to improve it. The Motu Proprio has been dead letter there from day one and the Cardinal simply does not understand the point of the MP or else is playing coy. He said they have the Mass in many languages there so no pressing need for Latin. Seriously? Does he think the MP is about Latin only? Sigh...
I just wish I knew if I am doing the right thing. It seems like our elders and our ancestors were more sure of themselves. I've been infected with this liberal Masonic wishy-washyness just like Charlie Brown.
It is tough, Jude. Where do we go? Unless one lives near an FSSP or ICK chapel they have absolutely no "regularized" full service Tradition alternative. Next best are the Motu Mass outposts in some dioceses where you can get the Mass and maybe Baptisms in the Old Rite. Other than that MAYBE you find one N.O. parish that says the N.O. with reverence?
Then you have the vast wasteland that represents Novus Ordo-dom. Varying shades of all I described and worse.
And if you don't fit in your diocese you can go to the Society/ Independent chapels. Then you have Tradition, but if you are concerned about jurisdiction issues, still being a part of the diocese, etc. it can seem isolating.
I feel torn apart at times trying to reconcile what I see around me with the Catholic Faith. I do meet individual Catholics who attend the N.O. who still have the faith and this stuff somehow doesn't bother them. It is like they have been desensitized to it. I think it is ignorance. They trust that the Mass is the Mass, no matter how lame and they superimpose their knowledge of what the Mass is upon what they see. They say their rosary, are very moral, have large families, are modest, etc.
I simply don't know how they do it. I simply cannot attend your typical local N.O. "service" on Sunday without being filled with rage. The Neo-Caths would of course say the problem is with me, the "spiteful judger".
If I truly thought that was all it was I would be relieved, but deep down I know it is not just me. There is something wrong there. Objectively wrong. I don't know the solution and have no power over the solution and it is frustrating.
It is all one can do just to keep the Faith in this situation. Our elders and ancestors were more sure of themselves because they had a Church that was ONE Church that taught ONE Faith and had ONE Mass and ONE Creed. It was simple. They had to focus their fight on the world and sin with all the reinforcements of the Truth and Church behind them.
We are left with a Church in ruins, preaching 5 million contradictory things at once, 5,000 flavors of Novus Ordo Masses, laity taking over, secularization, lack of reverence. No doubt we are being chastised beyond measure though the sheep faithful are too dumb to even realize it because it is a spiritual chastisement and not yet physical. I can only imagine the sins that must have invoked this wrath in the early 20th century. If Our Lady was upset at Fatima God help us now.