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Here's my first draft (it'll probably be what I go with since I want to do it before noon Eastern).  I intend to make this consecration with our family.

Our Dearest Blessed Mother, Virgin Mary, Queen of Heaven and of Earth, we consecrate ourselves and our family to your Immaculate Heart in reparation for the blasphemies committed against you by the world and also in reparation for our own sins, many and grievous as they are, in the spirit of your request at Fatima.  While we cannot consecrate Russia, as you requested of the Holy Father and the bishops, we consecrate that which is within our power to consecrate, ourselves and the family over which we have authority.  Even as you accepted the consecration of Portugal, please also look down with favor upon this consecration and bring honor to yourself by extending to us and our family the graces and the protection you would have obtained from God for the entire world had your request been heeded.

When you expressed grief over the blasphemies committee against Your Immaculate Heart, we saw how you, ever selfless, did not do so in consideration of yourself but, rather, out of the overflowing abundance of compassion that you have for souls who are lost on account of them.  You have been blasphemed also by those who occupy the Chair of St. Peter, and even now they are attempting to perform a consecration that does not conform with your request, making no mention whatsoever of the offenses committed against God, the Sacred Heart of Your Son, and Your Immaculate Heart.  Instead of making an act of reparation, they seek to petition that false peace which the world gives, a peace which brings with it the freedom to sin even more, to offend God, to blaspheme, and to further empower the ѕуηαgσgυє of Satan, who used Russia as their instrument to spread their errors throughout the world and even into the bosom of the Church.  We offer this consecration as reparation for this current insult as well, and for all the errors and sins and blasphemies propagated by this Conciliar Church.

In response to this consecration, please protect us and our family from those enemies, both visible and invisible, who have insulted and humiliated Our Holy Mother Church, the Immaculate Spouse of your Son, hiding the light of Your Son, Who is Truth Itself, from the world, and eclipsing the One True Church, thereby allowing countless souls to wander in the ensuing darkness and be lost.  They have brought shame and humiliation upon the Spouse of Your Son, the Holy Catholic Church, Our Mother.  Immaculate Heart of Mary, extirpate from the Church those enemies who have occupied the Catholic hierarchy and restore the Church to her rightful glory, so that the entire world might see her for who she truly is and convert to the One True Faith, without which there can be no salvation.  We know that these evils are not the work of the Immaculate Spouse of Your Son, Our Holy Mother Church,  but that "an enemy hath done this”.  We do not recognize in this False Church the Voice of Our Shepherd, without Whom we are now scattered and being preyed upon by the wolves  Please have pity on us and protect us.  Your are our last and only hope in these dark times.  Deprived now of the graces which the True Church and the True Sacrifice of the Mass once used to flood into our poor world, this valley of tears, we are now under constant and ever-increasing attack from infernal enemies.  Please have pity on us and protect us, even though we are unworthy, so that all may honor you for being faithful to your promises and acknowledge your powerful intercession for us with God, and so that all the blasphemies against your Immaculate Heart might be replaced with honor and praise from the entire world.  Please hasten the Triumph of the Church, the Reign of Christ the King, with you as Our Queen, along with the conversion of the entire world.  Immaculate Heart of Mary, glorious Queen of Heaven and Earth, pray for us.

Nicely done.