2vermont - do you remember the part that I am referring to? He briefly spoke about it in one of his videos. I know that he said what you are saying, but he also brought up his hypothetical discussed with Bp. Fellay about himself being conditionally ordained. Bp. Fellay responded with something along the lines of that he would have to be completely convinced that he was not a priest. And, that line of thought really doesn't "conform" to the sspx position, and bp. fellay could surely trap him on for it. With him being an "independent", I think it impossible to take that route(menzingen has been in bed with rome since 1996). In sum, it could ultimately threaten his chance of being conditionally ordained, and he probably sensed that. He was very educated. Canon Hesse's explanation for why he "knows" that he is a priest was an emotional one. But, he brings up great reasons for why it is rash to regard everything now as invalid.