You're not wrong. That's one of the biggest struggles I have with tradlandia, because their rejection of V2 and embrace of traditional Catholicism is correct, but their expression of such a position leads to division and personality cults while us poor laymen are left between a rock and a hard place trying to figure out just who is correct.
Right, you often get advice here of "go see your priest". And the obvious retort is, "which priest?"
And, you know what, it's OK to have a variety of opinions on the Crisis. There are some opinions that are bad and borderilne non-Catholic (IMO), but we Catholics adhere to Church teaching, but tolerate a wide range of opinion outside of actual Church teaching. No Traditional Catholic would ever dare question the defined dogmas of the Church, even if on some controverted issues people have a variety of interpretations of what that teaching means. That's the litmus test for whether someone has the formal motive of faith, their submission to the Magisterium of the Church, and I don't know of any Trad Catholic who doesn't FORMALLY have that intention to submit, even if materially they're in error.
Church stepped in at one point during the Thomist vs. Molinist debate and declared that neither side could declare the other side to be heretics.
I think that it's OK to argue that a certain opinion is (objectively aka materially) heretical, but not to declare people outside the Church and refuse them the Sacraments to declare them to be in hell (as the Dimonds do).
This is what the difference between FORMAL and MATERIAL heresy boils down to (and it's not "sincerity"). It has to do with whether someone accepts the Magisterium of the Church as their rule of faith and intend to accept and adhere to whatever the Church teaches. To misunderstand or misinterpret what the Church teaches about a subject is the very definition of MATERIAL heresy. [On a side note, to contrast this with the "sincerity" view, a Protestant who does not accept the teaching of the Church as the rule of faith cannot be a MATERIAL heretic, even if he's "sincere" in the believe. FORMAL deals with whether one has the correct FORMAL MOTIVE of faith, and not whether they're sincere.]