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Author Topic: A classic take on the Bishops Corner...  (Read 862 times)

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Offline gladius_veritatis

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A classic take on the Bishops Corner...
« on: June 19, 2011, 07:40:48 PM »
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    • The truly classic text is here offered.  The next post contains DD's puke-enducing original, of which the following is a fitting, hilarious caricature/parody/translation...

    http://vovwatch.com/features/vipersden/vipersden-0619.htm

    June 19, 2011

    How did you like today's audition for NOAA Weather Radio? I trust my four-paragraph “aftercast” will attract some interest. I’ll need the employment when they chuck me out of the cult center. My personal forecast for myself is mostly cloudy, with a 95 percent chance of rebellious, stormy outbreaks of Southwest Ohio disgust as I reach new lows. The outlook is hazardous with damaging winds rippling like an affront from the pulpit. There is a patchy, dense fog of lies advisory in effect until you show “The Pen” and me the door. My visibility will be reduced to zero as I try to hide from the severe threats materializing by heading for the Bishop’s Lodge as a precautionary action.

    Our felid, carnivore fiends are so much like us. Perched like hideous gargoyles fearfully come to life, they pounce on the innocent little ones, stabbing, cutting and ripping the velvety fur and fragile flesh with their razor-sharp incisors, canines, and molars.  What? You find it tasteless for me to summon up images of violent death in the Sunday bulletin? You are aghast that I liken their predations to the solemn keeping of Pentecost? You find it unspeakably cruel—even heartless—of me to write of butchered baby bunnies, knowing full well that little children have a special affection for those soft, tender, cuddly, and gentle creatures? Well, you normal folk may fret over the delicate sensibilities of young children, for whom bunny-rabbits represent sweetness and light. But you see, the young of my most loyal. depraved cultists have far different psychological profiles. At least, that’s how I see them though my louche and beady gaze. The wiggling spawn of my cultists relish the crimson vision of our truculent tabbycat, prancing on its blood-stained toes in haughty triumph, with its gory trophy firmly clenched in its wet, amaranthine jaws. And for those children who may weep at our feline's ferocity, I’ll schedule a little counseling with our "principal," who will put a bit of stick about. As for me, I'll shut their fathers and mothers up with the threat of damnation.

    I am certain you applauded my bold reference to “The Pen’s” spending all his time on Internet forums and chat rooms. Heaven forbid that he use his considerable free time in pastoral duties. We let Lurch and Wannabe handle all that unsavory business. But you must realize that "The Pen's" got an uphill battle to fight in cyberspace. Every time he appears online, a truth squad suddenly materializes to correct his (shall we say?) imaginative reconstruction of events. Fortunately, “The Pen” usually chooses sites moderated by low life, who ban all who dare expose him. I fear that the National Catholic Register may not be so willing to muzzle these truth-telling hounds of heaven.

    On Fathers' Day, we are grateful for the kind of weak-willed fathers we have in the cult – "Danny's Dads" who remain silent and refuse to speak up in the face of injustice. We really need them, because they are the ones who keep supporting the cult and my excesses. They make sure the other fathers with a strong sense of decency keep their goody-two-shoes traps shut. My "Prelate's Pops" also keep “Big Don” afloat in the swampland. They are the ones who may shelter me when the coming storm rages in all its meteorological fury over the cult center.
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    "Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is all man."

    Offline gladius_veritatis

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    A classic take on the Bishops Corner...
    « Reply #1 on: June 19, 2011, 07:45:37 PM »
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    • [Believe it or not, the following was NOT composed by someone seeking to malign Bishop Dolan...He actually composed this hollow, effeminate trash...]

    Bishop’s Corner

    Wonderful weather greeted the great days of Pentecost this year. The Vigil dawned dark and cool, as we resumed some of the spirit and text of Holy Saturday, awaiting now the light and warmth of the Holy Ghost. But the sun shone out as the altar was finally flooded with light and sound, the melody of many chimes and bells, to mark the Gloria, which anticipates the Holy Ghost’s descent at nine o’clock Pentecost morning. Eight new Soldiers of Christ were confirmed after the Pontifical Mass, and enrolled in the Scapular. Finally, they were feted at the head able in Helfta Hall at a charming reception, which refreshed all of us after so long a vigil.

    Pentecost morning started overcast and humid, but blue skies and cool dry air soon arrived to save the day, making our joy complete. At nine o’clock, our newly confirmed little Soldiers of Christ marched into church with their symbolic Baptismal candles for the High Mass and First Holy Communion. The sweetly moving music of the choir and organ, spiritual and joyful, helped us to lift our hearts to God as we brought our children to be fed with the Bread of Life. Pentecost Vespers closed this splendid day of God’s own Holy Spirit.

    Pentecost Monday’s afternoon High Mass marked St. Anthony as well and led to our Fatima Rosary Procession. The good weather continued, making the nicely attended procession a delight. We could hardly believe it when Tuesday was yet another perfect day, as we met to sing the final (alas!) of our High Mass of the Octave, and open the Summer Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help and St. Anthony. By now we were all showing a little wear and tear, but it was worth it. Fr. McGuire and I had some sinus or something, and all of our devoted regulars (how good God is!) needed a little rest, that “dulce refrigerium” the Sequence promises.

    Still, our daily Masses continued, and young chaplain Thomas Simpson managed an altar practice for Paddy Omlor, who’s steadily working on his Low Mass. Do your boys need training? Every boy should be an altar boy. Let us know, and we’ll work something out.

    Ember Wednesday saw the cool dark return, but we didn’t mind since the thunder made us think of Sinai, and it was a day of penance and prayer, especially for candidates for Holy Orders. Please pray for our Reverend Mr. Vili Lehtoranta, to be ordained a deacon in Florida on SS Peter and Paul. One day he hopes to bring Christ’s light back to his native Finland.

    The cats kept Pentecost in fine feline fashion. When they sit sphinx-like and silent in the high grass I know they’re up to something. Sure enough, Puccini bagged a baby bunny, and couldn’t resist conducting his own victorious procession Sunday morning. I watched with wonder. I hope, however, Ohio has a one bunny limit for the season. Now, if only the cats would concentrate on mice.

    Fr. Larrabee was to Milwaukee for Pentecost, and I am happy to visit St. Hugh today. Fr. McGuire is up at Chillicothe, working on the new St. Clare chapel. Fr. Cekada has been continuing his internet apostolate with a series of postings on Fisheaters’ Forum as well as the National Catholic Register site, always seeking to explain sedevacantism, the only answer to the mysterious eclipse of the Church in our day.

    We’re all preparing a wonderful Corpus Christi/St. John’s Eve for Thursday evening. Come, keep the feast with us! Mark the Sacrament of Sacraments by hearing Mass and receiving Holy Communion on the very day Our Lord requested. Afterwards, bring a dish to share for our potluck picnic as we await summer’s shortest night with a barbeque and blessed bonfire, St. John’s Fire. There will be a bit of singing and entertainment to round out the evening.
    Be sure to visit our website sgg.org for the most delightful slideshow of this year’s Holy Week. You will be amazed at the color and the composition of the fine photos, and so proud and grateful for St. Gertrude the Great, which still gets God such glory in the midst of the eclipse.

    God bless our fathers! Silent, strong leaders in our homes, we thank you for all of your sacrifices, and pray for you especially today. We really need you and do appreciate you. May St. Joseph walk and work with you, and the Sacred Heart sustain you.

    –Bishop Dolan
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    Offline gladius_veritatis

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    A classic take on the Bishops Corner...
    « Reply #2 on: June 19, 2011, 08:03:12 PM »
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    • DD seems to be going out of his way to prove his effeminate nature, which no cleric who knows him, from the SSPX, SSPV, or after, can possibly deny.

    DD, my former friend,

    So you know, things are moving quickly behind the clerical scenes.  There is an organized communicado amongst sane, trad clerics (even some of the Nine) to publicly, irrevocably distance all decent folk from your pestilent, spiritually-paralyzing embrace.  IMO, now would be an excellent time to flee to whatever retreat you have (NM, etc).  It is clear that whatever 'nuggets' you can collect in the your few remaining days will not come close to countering how much you will lose by staying beyond the time allotted.  Go, my former friend.  You have lost, in a landslide... Go...
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    "Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is all man."
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