Canon 1258. At funerals of non-Catholics, at their marriages, and similar solemnities, provided there is no danger of perversion or scandal, passive or merely material presence on account of a civil office or for the purpose of showing respect to a person may be tolerated for a grave reason…

How can this be good or correct.

Why not?

I was taught that we can go to funerals and weddings of prot or non-Catholics "for social reasons" so long as we do not participate, but these days, with the Church in the shape it is, just showing up implies consent so IMO, we stay away.  

I don't see how one would not sin by omission, at least, just by being there and going to such a thing.

What in the world would you even talk about with the people there?

Going to such a thing, passively and materially present, would never even cross my mind.

If your entire family were novus ordo, and you were the only true Catholic left, and you had already told almost all of them the truth and that none of them are Catholic, and, say, your grandpa or even your mom or brother were to die, would you go to the canonization mess or the funeral?

Canon 1258. At funerals of non-Catholics, at their marriages, and similar solemnities, provided there is no danger of perversion or scandal, passive or merely material presence on account of a civil office or for the purpose of showing respect to a person may be tolerated for a grave reason…

How can this be good or correct.

Here we have Cathedra openly critical of the 1917 CIC.

Here is Woywod explaining Canon 1258:

1101. It is unlawful for the faithful to assist in any active manner, or to take part, in the sacred services of non-Catholics.
Merely passive or material presence may be tolerated on account of a civil office, or for the purpose of showing respect to persons, to be approved in doubtful cases by the bishop for grave reasons, at funerals of non-Catholics, at their marriages, and similar solemnities, provided there is danger of neither perversion nor scandal. (Canon 1258.)

I stopped attending weddings, funerals, etc. of relatives even before converting in 2005.  They are exercises in futility.   The weddings require me to purchase clothing and gifts I can't afford.  And in all but one case, the weddings I did attend were followed by a divorce or break-up.  The last n.o. funeral I went to, 1990,  I left during the "sermon."  A lady deaconess, as she called herself, went on and on about the deceased's wonderful life and how he was in heaven.  She'd seen him for the first time at the wake the night before, and was being PAID to eulogize him.  The sad facts were that the man lived a less than wonderful life, had no use for God and His Church, deserted his legitimate wife and children, and was highly unlikely to have been in heaven.  I told others I felt ill--true--went to the restroom and went directly home.  The way I see it, if the person or persons getting married or buried have no contact with me normally, I see no "grave reason" to be present.  Over the last two decades, my family has scattered, haven't married,  haven't had children, or have had children outside marriage. The "children" don't care about me.  Their "children" don't know I exist.  The quotation marks refer to adult-children.  These days, if I find out about a marriage, birth or death, it is usually months or even years after the fact.  Depending upon whom or what, I might send a card.  Kind of sad, isn't it?  For myself, I'm unlikely to marry.  If I do, I'll be satisfied with my husband, two witnesses and the priest.  I really don't care who attends my funeral, so long as I have a Mass and am buried, not burned up or freeze-dried!  If the priest himself buries me in some secret location, that'll be fine.  God knows where to find me.  The state of my soul is much more important than who comes to my see my corpse.  

"Thus let me live, unseen, unknown,
Thus unlammented, let me die.
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie."           ~Alexander Pope, 'Ode on Solitude'

I learned that it was OK to attend weddings and funerals of non-Catholics as long as you don't actively participate. I guess this is the law that says so. Knowing this, I attended a wedding of one of my cousins who was a member of a schismatic church. I just stood in the back and watched and didn't participate in any way.

So, the canon says that it can only be tolerated for a grave reason and only with permission of the Bishop.

But you see now how people have posted here saying how they were taught it was ok to go to these things as long as you didn't actively participate, for no grave reason and without any permission from a Bishop.

That's not what the canon says but this is what was being taught before.

That's probably because most people don't have access to a bishop who can tell them.