In othewords YOU don't pray for the dead, unless YOU know they were in the State of Grace, how judgemental!

Ah, Myrna, you really just can't get past this, can you?
Let's try this way. Please answer the following question:
Can someone who dies in a state of mortal sin be saved?
NO!
Why are you not being judgmental for saying this?
Similarly with "Feeneyism", what's under discussion is what are the CRITERIA required for salvation. Now, certainly, a person who APPEARS to be in mortal sin could be given a grace to make a last act of perfect contrition. Similarly, someone who appears to be outside the Church might be given the grace of conversion at the last moment.
So too the Church has generally not prayed PUBLICLY for ѕυιcιdєs or others living in notorious public sin when they died. This does NOT rule out the possibility that a ѕυιcιdє might have repented and had perfect contrition before that actual moment of death. Similary, the Church does not PUBLICLY pray for non-Catholics. Is the Church being judgmental?