Author Topic: Youngest son takes care of single mom -- bachelor for life (Read 1929 times)

Matthew · « **on:** October 25, 2010, 10:46:44 AM »

Anyone else notice this phenomenon?

I have an uncle who lived with my divorced grandmother well into his twenties, even when he was working and earning a living. He moved to another state, and is in his late forties now, and still unmarried!

And lest you think he's some black sheep who is getting all the benefits of marriage with none of the risks -- he's a traditional Catholic and doesn't have any girlfriends either.

I know of two other cases of baby boomer women who got divorced (one was a troubled marriage where the man ended up dying) who have a "youngest son" who is currently single.

In one of the cases, the other siblings married about 5 years ago (and this "youngest son" is as old as those siblings were when they got married, so age isn't an issue).

It just seems like that youngest child -- especially boys -- are most affected by a divorce, and that many of them never marry.

Does it have to do with the young son feeling like he needs to take care of his mother? Does it serve as an obstacle to him going off and marrying/starting a family of his own?

There seems to be something to it, because I've seen it in several cases. That youngest son just doesn't court women the way the rest of the sons. Either he doesn't try, or tries barely at all.

Matthew

Harv1 · « **Reply #1 on:** October 25, 2010, 01:06:10 PM »

Many young men today do not want to enter marriage because so many young women want to further their education and move up the ladder. My son and most of his friends, find the girls have been drilled with the feminist idea of you are just as good as the guy.
Also, the Irish believed it was a good idea to marry when you were older. Age has nothing to do with it. When you meet the right person and pray he/she will make a good spouse then I believe you will know.
Just my thoughts.

parentsfortruth · « **Reply #2 on:** October 25, 2010, 11:01:21 PM »

From parentsfortruth's husband:

I don't think it has anything to do with being the youngest child. I think it has to do with the way the women act now days and with all the stigmas attached to having children, some men think it's just too much responsibility for them.

-- youngest of 9, father of 5

TKGS · « **Reply #3 on:** October 26, 2010, 06:43:02 AM »

Quote from: parentsfortruth

From parentsfortruth's husband:

I don't think it has anything to do with being the youngest child. I think it has to do with the way the women act now days and with all the stigmas attached to having children, some men think it's just too much responsibility for them.

-- youngest of 9, father of 5

Each and every case of marriage is, of course, uniquely individual, but one must acknowledge generalities when they exist. I, too, have noticed that youngest sons I have known seem to marry (when they do marry) later than older sons. And this is the case with the people I know irregardless of religion or parents marital status.

In my case, my eldest brother married at 20, next brother married at 18. I did not marry until age 27. Prior to meeting the girl I married, I was not really interested in marriage nor did I think I would.

I don't know if this is a trend or just seems like a truism (like the player who makes a spectacular final out in an inning leads off the next--that's a baseball analogy in case you're uncultured and didn't know). By the time I had children, the cousins were all high schoolers and adults.

wallflower · « **Reply #4 on:** October 26, 2010, 08:29:15 AM »

My uncle was an only son and he cared for my grandmother until he passed away at the age of 33. My grandfather had taken off years earlier, leaving her with 8 children to raise in the 60s. He was one of the youngest, but while all the girls married and/or left the house, he stayed with her. Even at 33 everyone's impression was that he would never marry.
RIP

sedetrad · « **Reply #5 on:** October 27, 2010, 01:25:37 PM »

What did he die of at 33? That is an awfully young age?

wallflower · « **Reply #6 on:** October 27, 2010, 03:26:26 PM »

Lung cancer. I guess I could have mentioned that. He never smoked or had any "bad" habits but there was asbestos in the home so looking back we think that was probably it. He was also a mechanic/painter and exposed to a lot of dingy/fumy air, so who knows. He was very young. My grandmother never fully got over his death and when Alzheimer hit her in her 70s-80s, he was a frequent subject of confusion for her. He had a good death though, and so did she, thank God.

JoanScholastica · « **Reply #7 on:** November 03, 2010, 02:05:32 AM »

I don't see any problem with the youngest son unless he declares that he has problems finding a good wife.