Vladimir said:They are so steeped in their new philosophy that they have little or no capacity (or will) to even consider traditional Catholicism.
Exactly. This is what my dad seems to be like, who has become Novus Ordo. He has not shown the slightest shred of curiosity about traditional Catholicism, beyond saying "You go to your church because that's what comforts you, I go to mine because that's what comforts me" ( I can't remember the exact words, but that was the gist ). Which led me to laugh under my breath and begin a retort, before deciding it wasn't the time or place.
I'm not sure how the argument came down to not marrying a Novus Ordo woman vs. doing God's will. Does that mean that marrying into the Novus Ordo is God's will? I doubt many traditional priests would concur. While I agree with the idea that there are always exceptions, I'm speaking generally, which is that it is very, very rarely God's will to marry someone who is obstinately devoted to a twisted philosophy, a worldly attitude, and a bulk of heresies, all of which, to add insult to injury, calls itself Catholicism and claims holiness. Is that too bold?
Who do you know who has done so and has lived to tell the tale? I can't think of a single trad who has consciously gone out and married a Novus Ordo. If he or she were dating someone who was Novus Ordo, I'd think that before the marriage took place, there would have to be some signs that that person was willing to change. In which case they would no longer really be Novus Ordo. It would be foolhardy to marry someone who is devoutly Novus Ordo, if you'll excuse the oxymoron.
As for traditionalists who become Prots, Myrna, that is another kettle of fish entirely. That doesn't mean that everything is random and we should all go out and have mixed marriages because you can't count on anyone anyway... ( Which is the logical conclusion to what you're saying ). Trads falling away is probably due to the idealism and perfectionism and exaggerated expectations that some of them have. Fifties-ism, etc. They think at first they have found the magical kingdom of the fairy queen, but in reality, trad Catholics or not, they're still in a fallen world.
If you are attuned, I think you can get a sense of who is at risk of falling out or not, more or less. We don't have 100% psychic accuracy but there are certain signs. Some people act like Catholicism is a burden on them and they are champing at the bit to be free, even if they don't say it. Others have traits that are worldly, such as they expect a certain level of financial comfort. And then there are others who express the virtues, patience and humility, resignation in suffering and gratitude to Christ... While even in that case, it's not a sure thing the person will stay the course, they are a good bet for marriage. It's not rocket science.