I've mentioned before, our oven has a special "Sabbath setting" wherein it keeps the oven at a certain temperature all day Saturday, so that a "fire isn't lit" which would be breaking the sabbath.
Yes, your instincts were correct -- it is a classical example of Pharisee legalism.
I have met some Trads myself who are scrupulous about Sunday rest. For example, some won't even make a computer work on Sunday (they won't order things from websites on Sunday). I guess some poor PC server has to skip Mass to be plugged in to the Internet in order to take that order...
Obviously robots and computers are exempt from the Sunday rest. Following from this, we can command, coerce, recommend, consent, etc. to those robots/computers working on Sunday, and it wouldn't be a sin for us either.
So in the example of the car wash (above) -- you could drive as many cars through the "touch free" car wash (like they have at many gas stations today) as you could afford. As long as machines are doing all the work. Even those car washes where you put in quarters and stand there with a trigger spray hose and select different sprays (soap, hot water, cold water, wax, etc.) probably wouldn't be a problem, since you're just standing there. There's no scrubbing on your part, and these "car washes" have no employees. Some people feel the need to wipe down their car with towels afterwards, but if you're not one of those, you'd be fine using that kind of car wash on Sunday.
If you find yourself dreading Sunday, then you're PROBABLY being too strict about what you can't do on Sunday. Sunday should be a day you look forward to!