Tele -- this is a discussion board. If you say something that strikes me as off or that I disagree with, as you sometimes do, more and more these days, then it is very likely that I will say something about it. If you don't like it, find somewhere else to go. Your petulant behavior does not scare me. All it accomplishes is to make me think of you as an incredibly unpleasant person. I am starting to dread even seeing your name pop up on the screen.
When you disagree with something, you speak up; that is what we do here. Hence "discussion" board or "chat" room or whatever you want to call it. If your only response to someone who disagrees is to fulminate like some kind of little spoiled brat, I don't know what to say to you. But it's not going to stop me from criticizing your posts, or giving you fraternal correction when I feel after prayer that it's necessary, capiche?
I will just let the site know my thinking and how this began. I want to make it all less personal from now on, but I will explain how it did get personal. What happened was, in our last private conversation, Tele had the gall to blame me for talking about his situation at the SSPX church on CathInfo, when he was the one ranting incoherently about it and I just tried to get the story straight. After he said this, there was an awkward silence during which he could probably tell I was appalled. It was simply delusional as well as ungrateful in the extreme. Then we lost contact as he was busy with other things.
However, later, he added insult by injury by going on Fisheaters and wallowing in the whole situation even more. So much for me being the one to spread his misfortunes around, which was already ridiculous in the first place. I made a passing comment about this on CI saying he was "seeking attention" which he was. But that, on top of the fact that he probably saw I lost respect for him and had become wary of him, made him blow up.
It is around this time I also stopped entirely believing his side of the story, because I see now how he is, which is best described as narcissistic or "ox-like." In a conversation, not everything is about him, he shows interest in subjects outside himself. But there are certain areas where you HAVE to take his point of view; he HAS to have the last word. It's not complex psychology -- he is building a place in his head where he feels safe, where he thinks no one can hurt him, and he uses verbal attacks, veiled threats, and not-so-veiled threats to try to make this happen. But I guarantee you, this is what women will pick up on, and it will not make it easy for him to get married, because it is evident he wants absolute control and that he is as "macho" as they come. He perceives this father of his love interest as "macho" simply because the guy stood in his way; but what if that father was really paternally responsible, and Tele is the one who's macho?
Tele's attraction to the Muslim religion, without question, is due to this overemphasis on paternal authority and oversubmissiveness of the woman, which he finds attractive. Tele wants a Bride of Tele, a woman who shares the same brain, who differs from him in nothing except for her sex. What makes it extra-dangerous is that he has convinced himself that all his thoughts are the Church's, not just his. But he embellishes and exaggerates, and in the condition he's in now, it's likely to get far worse before it gets better. His judgment is severly lacking. There is no way in HADES that I would marry him the way he is now if I were a woman. Can you imagine being trapped in the middle of nowhere with this? However, the potential is there, he could be a really good husband and Catholic, he just needs to be resigned to the will of God.
And that is the whole problem with Tele. There is no resignation to the will of God. He has the intellectual side of the faith mostly down -- though that is slipping as you might expect since his faith is at low ebb -- but true obedience, humility and charity is lacking. And that's not rash judgment because he has shown many signs of these flaws over and over. Obedience: He won't go to church and makes excuses, then complains about "trads," and "trad priests," making me think he simply refuses to put himself under priestly authority; humility, he is not resigned to the will of God and is obsessed with his own life and own ideas which he misrepresents as Catholic fact; charity, he thinks he can get away with any kind of verbal abuse.
In this instance, he doesn't really care who God wants him to marry; he tries to wrench the situation around to his own liking. The kind of girl he always talks about on this site, the pious, simple girl, is not the one he became obsessed with. I won't reveal anything specific about her on the site, but she is downright sophisticated and artsy. In her case, it's not feminism, it's being "gifted," because he still worships her. I'm not saying she's a feminist, but she's very much involved in the world, she's not at home sewing. What he wants is to take this girl he's attracted to, and turn her into this Catholic ideal, or semi-Catholic ideal. I have no idea how far he went into delusion to achieve his goal; but he went pretty far just from what I have seen on the site. I don't know what was going on, or who exactly was to blame for what, but the devil had a hand in it, that's for sure. And I no longer believe Tele had no responsibility in what happened and that it was all the fault of everyone else. I am kind of shocked I ever did believe it, because he clearly has problems with social interaction.
Tele cannot listen to reason though; that is why that is the accusation he makes against others. When people lash out like that, they almost always accuse others of their own faults. For instance, he has got it into his head that either the girl intended to marry him and was coming onto him for that purpose, or else she was a vile tramp who was teasing him -- and he won't accept the latter, because he idolizes the girl beyond all sense, so he is certain in his own mind that she intended to marry him. He can't comprehend the idea that a girl might be blossoming and might like male attention and might be putting out a flirtatious vibe without intending to marry anyone. For him, a girl is either a saint or a whore, not a flawed human being. But some Catholic girls go further than just flirting, they have sex before marriage and everything! I'm sure some revel in evil and have dark secrets. Welcome to the real world, Tele. But at this point, I'm not even sure he didn't imagine the whole thing, having seen his delusions in regard to me and others. If he thinks that I am the one who is to blame for talking about his situation on CathInfo, how can I believe anything that I hear from him after that? Clearly he distorts reality to fit his own needs and his own self-image.
Anyway, the girls who are already like his ideal, something tells me, he has zero interest in, they're too humdrum. Because Tele, deep down, is a dreamer and romantic. But Catholics should fight through that, they should accept reality, both when it serves them and when it doesn't.