Author Topic: Women going to college? (Read 24912 times)

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **on:** April 22, 2012, 03:30:50 PM »

It appears that some people on the "18 year old daughter wants to be a marine or cop" thread disagreed with my statement that women who intend to marry shouldn't go to college. I think this topic deserves its own thread.

My argument is that, if married women are supposed to stay home while their husbands bring home the money, why waste time going to college?

What do others here say?

Clelia · « **Reply #1 on:** April 22, 2012, 03:52:16 PM »

I say 2 things:

1. Men and women can easily loose theirs souls by going to college. Unfortunately, if one has an aspiration to learn a vocation or skill to benefit humanity and earn an income from a worthy endeavor, they have the right to do so. However, one must be a very STRONG CATHOLIC to weather, navigate through the garbage of teachers and the deviate lifestyles of students, to be able to evangelize and learn that skill at the same time. VERY difficult.

2. If one is hoping to mary, one still cannot 'sit around' and either wait for romeo or pick someone just to hurry up and fulfill that desire. One must keep busy and not chance either having no income from worthy employment obtained either through appropriate training or legitimate opportunity otherwise, while there is a possibility that one may never marry.

I know moms who are SAH home school moms who left their careers. If anything ever happens that they MUST return to work, they MUST, unless they have lots of family and friends to help.

Life goes on. However, careers of selfishness for selfish reasons are not good for married women or single women.

We do the best we can. Yet, an educated mom (maintaining her Faith and strong to avoid sin) can be a great teacher and provider, when called upon out of necessity.

Spork · « **Reply #2 on:** April 22, 2012, 06:34:57 PM »

I think college is a waste for most, male or female. Don't get me wrong: engineering, medicine, natural sciences, accounting, computer science, Thomistic philosophy, etc. are all worthy endeavors and need advanced learning, for which a university/college is needed. But most majors and degrees are utterly worthless. I have close to a 150,000 dollar hole to pay off. Granted, I have a great career, but I could see myself just as happy working on a leaky pipe, repairing a printer, or managing a restaurant for the same income(OK, maybe a little less, but the difference in loan payment cancels this out).

So, should a girl go to college, rack up tens of thousands in student loans, get a worthless degree in 'management' or sociology? I don't believe so. But if a young woman has a calling to a religious vocation and wants to become a nurse to care for fellow religious, that is something entirely different.

I have to say that a young woman should not go to college but learn to raise children and care for a household. Good planning(savings, disability insurance, family, community, and life insurance) will take the place of a trade skill or 'degree' if something tragic should happen to the breadwinner. Sounds easier said than done, but God is most pleased with many happy children with mom at home. He will provide.

lefebvre_fan · « **Reply #3 on:** April 22, 2012, 07:43:55 PM »

Well, I had a girl break up with me once essentially because she was too busy with her studies and hence didn't have time for a relationship. Not that I would expect her, or any woman, to drop everything all of a sudden for my sake, hardly. Still, it's food for thought.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #4 on:** April 22, 2012, 08:28:27 PM »

Quote from: SpiritusSanctus

It appears that some people on the "18 year old daughter wants to be a marine or cop" thread disagreed with my statement that women who intend to marry shouldn't go to college. I think this topic deserves its own thread.

You didn't even say "shouldn't go" - you said, didn't need to go. Apparently certain feminist thinking individuals believe that Catholic girls need to go to college.

Quote

My argument is that, if married women are supposed to stay home while their husbands bring home the money, why waste time going to college?

What do others here say?

Yes, wasting time and money. It's about the feminist belief that a young woman who hasn't gone to college and submits to her husband is somehow being cheated.

You're dealing with people who it's far more important for a girl to be educated and have more power in marriage, and to have some "fun" finding herself, than to be a virgin at her wedding.

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #5 on:** April 22, 2012, 08:33:10 PM »

Ok, well I meant they shouldn't go. Sorry for any confusion. I certainly do not believe that Catholic girls should go to college.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #6 on:** April 22, 2012, 08:36:31 PM »

Quote from: SpiritusSanctus

Ok, well I meant they shouldn't go. Sorry for any confusion. I certainly do not believe that Catholic girls should go to college.

Well SS, there can justifications for Catholic girls to go to college, but I agree with you, generally speaking, they shouldn't.

When girls went to college before Vatican II there were rules on campuses to prevent many of the excesses that occur today. Still, it's clearly a bad environment for most women, it's an occasion of many sins, and confers a dubious benefit, dubious for any woman who wishes to be married and raise children.

Marcelino · « **Reply #7 on:** April 22, 2012, 09:13:46 PM »

I agree with the opening post. Although, I wonder how men are supposed to support a wife and kids on their own, when the median wage for a full time worker in America is 25k per year and the unemployment rate is around 10%, all the while most folks commute long distances to and from work as well as too church and even just to go to the grocery store. I know it can often be done somehow, but it sure seems pretty tough. So, I guess I'm not surprised that most of the married women I know, go back to work as soon as their kids are grown enough. Although, I think it would be much better if our culture and economy encouraged women to stay home and raise families, instead of working and really helped men to be able to support a family on their own, without having to work so much, they have no time to spend with it. But Democrats will just call me sexist and Republicans will just call me anti-business

So, I'll just pretend that everything is pretty good, but just needs a little tweaking from whatever side is in control of the group I find myself surrounded by :scared2:

Elizabeth · « **Reply #8 on:** April 22, 2012, 09:32:54 PM »

The killer is that everything is geared toward girls being more successful than boys these days. I noticed this, as an older mother with my son in first grade, how much the times had changed!!!

Seriously, I know God made each of us alive today because it is the perfect opportunity to save our soul, but these are confusing times.

My Mom was extremely well -educated at a convent school. She was married at 18. She never worked outside of her house, except at volunteer activities. Her mother, my Grandma, worked at some job after she was widowed. Most of her 8 children lived within the same block and helped out.

Nobody talks about girls being nuns anymore. When was the last time any of us even saw one outside of a few places? Girls never see them, only a lucky few are educated by them, none of us are going to have them care for us on our death-beds -- it's an immense tragedy.

I have only done some volunteer work since I was married, and my mother-in-law and others have been very "concerned" about this, and sorry for my husband having to be the wage-earner.

Topsy-turvy times we are in.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #9 on:** April 22, 2012, 09:37:52 PM »

Quote from: Elizabeth

The killer is that everything is geared toward girls being more successful than boys these days. I noticed this, as an older mother with my son in first grade, how much the times had changed!!!

Yes, but the most pernicious thing is the way that so many boomer parents want to tear down boys, treat them contemptuously, while keeping an unrealistic exalted view of their daughters. This happens even in "traditional" homes. It's pretty clear the reason is that having a "successful" daughter gives social status, more than having a successful son. Having a daughter that marries early detracts from one's social status.

Sede Catholic · « **Reply #10 on:** April 22, 2012, 10:13:16 PM »

Quote from: SpiritusSanctus

It appears that some people on the "18 year old daughter wants to be a marine or cop" thread disagreed with my statement that women who intend to marry shouldn't go to college. I think this topic deserves its own thread.

My argument is that, if married women are supposed to stay home while their husbands bring home the money, why waste time going to college?

What do others here say?

Thank you, Spiritus, for stating the truth.

Obviously, women should not go to college.

The vital, vital, vital point is that the truth about this and all of these related issues about Feminism should be

obvious to every Catholic.

However, it does not seem to be obvious to every Catholic.

These things really are obvious.

I fear that bad will on the part of many so-called traditional Catholics stops them from embracing the truth.

Even some traditional Catholic girls risk eternal fire and damnation because they are tricked by the evil cult of

Feminism.

Pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary to see the truth and to accept it.

We should all do that.

Dear Catholic girls and women, Pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary for the graces to understand and to

accept the truth about the evil ideas of Feminism.

Dear Catholic men, Pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary for the graces to understand and defend the truth

about the evil ideas of Feminism.

MrsZ · « **Reply #11 on:** April 23, 2012, 06:47:39 PM »

If I'd been able to choose the way things worked out in our family, it would look something like this:

I'd have been raised Traditional Catholic and so would my husband.

We would either have been farmers and lived out in the country, fulling self-sustaining....but we would have been within a reasonable distance to a traditional Catholic parish...OR,

We would have lived in a city that had a traditional Catholic parish.

We would have had a large family of homeschooled children. The parish community would provide tons of masses, tons of volunteer activities and tons of clubs and groups to provide myself and my family contact and interaction with fellow traditional Catholics.

Instead we are a small family. I did not become Catholic until after we married (in 1990) and didn't learn about Tradition until around 2002. We moved from a larger city to a tiny town (pop. 1,200) in 1998; and then another slightly larger town "next door" to the first (pop. 3,500) in 2007.

There is only Novus Ordo parishes in this county. Our neighborhood parish is n.o. and is filled with working mothers and publicly schooled kids.

We live in the nearly bankrupted state of California....businesses have failed everywhere .. and very noticeably in our town and in this county,. The ONLY thing going on around here is the schools, some small businesses and the local community college which is very limited in course selection due to lack of funding.

We can't sell our home because we owe more on it than it's "worth" and we can't rent it out because our mortgage is high.

What would you suggest for my daughter in this situation? Our son found his way out of the limitations by joining the fire dept. He's been to Academy, and he's got most of his certifications and his EMT. Only problem? He has yet to find a paying fire fighting job...and he's been applying all around for 2 years.

The local community college and maybe a part-time job, are her only options that I can see at this point to get out of the house. I don't have children for her to help me with ...and other than volunteering at the local church, I can't see any other options for her.

Any thoughts? What would YOU do?

Sede Catholic · « **Reply #12 on:** April 23, 2012, 08:06:48 PM »

Dear Mrs. Z,

Do you attend the Novus Ordo?

If so, you should stop.

It is idolatrous.

That alone could cause discord and problems in your Family.

If you make the mistake of seeing a psychiatrist, he will only convince you to leave your daughter to join up.

Please do not seek advice from such people. You are obviously tempted to do so out of desperation.

If you temporarily enable your PM feature- you could PM me.

Then I could give you some important advice by PM.

Perhaps you are unaware of the PM feature.

For some reson it is not on your account. Or perhaps you got rid of it by choice.

You could always temporarily enable it for a day or two.

And you do seem to be very much in need of help.

I do not want to discuss you Family problems in public.

God Bless you, Mrs. Z.

Yours, Sede Catholic.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #13 on:** April 23, 2012, 08:08:54 PM »

In the old days meetings with suitors would have been arranged. Might be hard to do these days.

Clelia · « **Reply #14 on:** April 23, 2012, 08:36:01 PM »

This all sounds great, and I actually agree with you in theory, but not regarding practical necessity. True enough: college is a cesspool of evil that any Saint would have difficulty navigating through. Yet, not everyone meets Mr. or Mrs. Right at 18: I met and married my husband when we were in our early 30's - it just didn't happen before that. I was grateful I had a skill that provided me with income to eat and pay my necessities. If I COULD HAVE stayed in college, I would be able to find a decent job now that my children are grown; but, I cannot because no one wants to hire a broken down old musician without a teaching degree for anything.

Necessity dictates I help my husband before we loose the house. I post on a borrowed computer that I do not always have access to.

I found eating is good. I gave up much when I home schooled, and that was great with me! Right now, I wish I had that diploma. My husband works 2 jobs that pay little.

When was the last time any of us was in need of a nurse? A doctor? Dental Assistant? Paralegal? Teacher? Seamstress? Waitress? Some of these careers require college; other are the result of not going to college, but we all employ these from time to time.

Marriage means babies: YES! If one is fortunate enough to marry, and marry a man with means.

My point is, God does not want us to sit around and grab the first $$$ available male we see just to fill the bill of baby making. Children come from love and learn love.
Women are not rabbits! And I agree Feminists are self-centered and go against God's Will. But, we must be prudent. Women need to be educated and even STAND UP to DEFEND THE FAITH when called upon.

You all might as well arrange marriages like the old days when people were miserable and often took it out on their children. Today, people divorce becaue they marry without waiting for the appropriate mate. Who suffers???